Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Kindness for its Own Sake

In world history who was the kindest person? We have no theory or discussion on this but when it comes to the meanest, most evil, the greatest miser and the like, they are plentiful. Books about kindness are found rarely except books for children or in marketing, or towards oneself.  So begins an article for the lunar New Year by an university professor of psychiatry in the Kyeongyang magazine.

Kindness is a warm and gentle attitude. Well behaved and tenderhearted with those we interact. Of course, this is without any ulterior motive. Persons getting paid in relating with others are merely offering a service.

We demand kindness from others and have no demands on ourselves to show kindness. We are warm when trading one item for another, we lack the desire for kindness without reason. Often when  treated kindly we suspect the kindness—what is it they want?

The 'Nice Guy Syndrome' has both a positive and negative meaning but here we understand it positively. When one is kind to others they may take advange of the situation and then kindness becomes the way one is at the beck and call of another. People hear this and will nod in approval. If you have doubts about yourself he recommends you ask your best friends if you can be considered this type of nice guy. We never forget the person to whom we have lent money but can forget those who have lent us money. To consider your self a nice guy may be a bad diagnosis.

The professor doesn't care for the giving of awards for kindness in the workplace or in  organizations for it makes for jealousy and does little to make for a better working atmosphere. However, the fact is that those who are altruistic do have many benefits  which is only natural. Those who are kind and gentle will have many friends and compensations. A person who is truly kind will not envision any compensation for what is done is not to be seen. Otherwise what is done is some form of investment for returns, even if only in the afterlife.

Kindness is the opposite of envy and jealousy. They both can't exist together. However, we can learn something about kindness from the psychology of envy. With envy the person doesn't envision any loss from the envy. With true kindness, no loss is felt from the act of kindness. It is done for it's own merit. 


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