Like the song title, "Is it hatred or longing?", the feelings of hatred that arise in our hearts are very complex and difficult to express clearly. What is clear is that hatred torments and suffocates our hearts, having a profoundly negative impact on our relationships with others.
What should we do when hatred grows into resentment and remains as a knot inside? Above all, it is necessary to share the story in our hearts with someone and receive empathy for our tormented and suffocating feelings. That someone could be a family member, friend, or acquaintance who listens to our story without judgment and empathizes with us. Still, it could also be the Lord we meet in prayer. We could share our tormented hearts with the Lord through conversation during Mass or prayer and ask for comfort.
It is also necessary to view hatred from a distance. Calm your mind, remain quietly before the Lord, and look at yourself in distress. Then, try to understand that this naturally arises because we are human. We are not robots but fragile beings with flesh and hearts that can be wounded. That is why hatred, envy, and jealousy arise, and often cannot be controlled at will.
We genuinely desire reconciliation and forgiveness, peace and unity, as well as generosity and magnanimity. Still, we feel hatred, resentment, disappointment, envy, and jealousy. It is important not to judge this too quickly but to acknowledge that we can be weak human beings.
On the other hand, it would be beneficial to acknowledge another signal embedded in the emotion of hatred. We feel greater hatred toward those particularly close and dear to us because our trust, expectations, and love for them are great. In that sense, hatred is another aspect of unfulfilled love. Hatred is an expression that reveals our own inability to love completely.
Our suffering from hatred means we want to overcome it; we long for unity with the other person in greater love. We cannot remain in suffering forever; we were born to overcome it. We strive to form personal relationships with others and achieve genuine reconciliation and unity, transcending negative relationships and emotions. In fact, the greatest joy and happiness are experienced when we reconcile with family members or neighbors with whom we have been estranged due to hatred and resentment, ask each other for forgiveness, wash away past misunderstandings, and resolve to start anew. At that moment, we experience all our emotions unraveling, our hearts melting like snow, and we truly taste the joy of healing.
The fact that humans are created in the image of God means that connecting with different people, forming relationships, and achieving fellowship and unity is a calling deeply ingrained in our existence. Growing and becoming one within relationships signifies our inherent sacredness. Jesus came to overcome all divisions. When feelings of hatred, resentment, jealousy, and disgust arise within us, instead of being swept away by those emotions and reacting impulsively or remaining in suffering, it would be good to distance ourselves from those feelings while staying with the Lord, viewing them as a call from God towards the fulfillment of love, and towards greater reconciliation and unity. Let us pray to the Lord to instill such a desire within us.
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