Greeting People in Korea

Leaving a hospital after treatment an essayist expressed his shock at being addressed as 'abeonim' (the word father) by one of the nurses. The salutation of the nurse made him feel sad, although he new it was done with respect. I found the response strange but it does show how important titles are in Korean society. He was in his forties and a father but to be addressed as such was unsettling to him.

He mentions that he was in an office working as a civil servant for many years and addressed in a way befitting his position as an official of his grade; with the arrival of new staff those in the office found it difficult to address him in the same way they addressed the new arrivals, so called him doctor. It was difficult for the office people to address one who worked for 18 years in the office with the same title as those who were just recently joining the staff.

He mentioned being addressed as 'wonjang' (director, the head of a school). He was in a position that entitled him to the name but as he said, it is attributed to all kinds of people in Korea. He uses the example of going to a baduk club where he gave his skill level and was told to play with the 'wonjang'; the man who came was not older than twenty, he asked the writer to start with 3 pieces on the board. The writer did not think he was entitled to the title he had given himself and a little bit put out that he was asked to start with a handicap of 3.

In Korea you can address a person you meet for the first time with the title teacher, brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother, uncle, aunt, or these days: Mr., Mrs. Ms and Miss-- Koreans have descended from one ancestor so all are related. However, in giving one of these titles you have to be careful that it fits the situation and the person.

In the extended family the names are complicated and many of the Koreans would not be familiar with all of them. He mentions even after marriage, before they had the first child, they addressed each other rather evasively. He never used the frequent 'Yobo', translated freely meaning 'dear' but literally 'look here'. After the first child they used the name of the child to address each other--the mother of so and so. This sounds strange to foreigners, but probably the sacredness of the name is implied, using the name may have overtones of possessing the person. This is a conjecture on my part and mentioned with little evidence.


I have always had difficulty with using titles. As a foreigner and a priest I do use the baptismal names of those I know. I have rarely added the honorific to the name as a Korean would. They would say Maria Ssi or use another honorific. Many years ago I asked the sisters in the parish whether what I was doing was permissible, and was told the parishioners will have little difficulty accepting it from a missioner. Even those with big positions in society I can address with their baptismal names. This has made life very easy, it is convenient, with little stress and apparently no problem for those addressed.(Being a foreigner they make the necessary allowances).

Parternership in Korean Catholic Church

The importance of age in Confucian society is obvious; Korea is one such society. Seniority was the way the society kept order in relationships; it is easily determined, and it works-- there need not be any quibbling for your birth certificate settles it. This makes for a hierarchical understanding of the work place. Korea's success can in no small way be attributed to this order they have in society. It is very Confucian and familiar to the Koreans.


In recent years the Catholic Church of Korea has been experimenting with team ministry among the priests: priests working together as equals, collaborative ministry, partnership. It is at odds with the hierarchical, and seniority system that Korea knows well and surprisingly the Church off and on, in recent years has shown an interest in this new form of ministry. There has been a lot of talk, some attempts and now a diocese is going to implement it for all the parishes in the years to come.

It is often said in jest, one Korean versus one Japanese, the Korean wins, you put two against two and the Japanese win. There may be some truth to this. This is one reason, it would seem, the collaborative ministry idea will not be very successful, but Korea does surprise.

The Diocese of Pusan has been experimenting since 2007 on collaborative ministry in parishes. This year the bishop will have 7 parishes in the Ulsan area working with this and in the future he hopes all the parishes will have a team ministry approach to the work. The bishop feels that up to now we have not see the synergistic principle working in our parishes, with this change he feels we will. By synergy he means that with two working together they will accomplish more than if they work separately--the results will be multiplied.

The intention is to have two priest working together as a team. The pastor will have the responsibilities under law for the parish. He will represent the parish in the larger community and where it is required by Church law, but in all the other workings of the parish they will work together and plan together as associate pastors. The people have desired this and they have had success with the experiments in this area over the years.

In Korea, Maryknoll has had a number of these attempts at team ministry but they all have failed. The problem with the failures is they are used against future attempts. It would seem all would see the value of working together as equals. It was Jesus' approach to the work. Most of the failures could be from a lack of preparation in working together and the motivation of those involved. Hopefully the Pusan efforts at team work bear fruit and be a stimulus to the whole Korean Church.

Catholic Church of Korea and Conscience

The Catholic Church of Korea is traditional in the way it teaches the message of Christianity. In all the areas of the catechism she does a good job; there is an area, however, pointed out at times for criticism by Catholics: the treatment of conscientious objection in present day Korean Catholicism-- the issue was approached in a previous blog.

A columnist in the recent Catholic Times spoke about the teaching of the Church on conscientious objection. The Catechism of the Catholic Church does say: "Public authorities should make equitable provision for those who for reasons of conscience refuse to bear arms; these are nonetheless obliged to serve the human community in some other way."

The second Catholic conscientious objector, now serving time in prison for refusing military service, is ignored by the official Church is the complaint of the columnist. The media, the Internet, the Catholic newspapers have maintained silence on the issue.

The writer gives us the results of a questionnaire that was presented to our Catholic seminarians in 2007. For reasons of conscience those who refuse military service should be allowed to have alternate service--46% agreed-- 48% disagreed. If we consider what the Church teaches, the results of this questionnaire are troubling. Moreover, those who knew the teaching of the Church on conscientious objection were only 30%. The writer concluded the lay-Catholics would be less knowledgeable.

The latest young man who refused to enter the military was a member of the Seoul, Catholic College Students Association. In the interview he had with the reporters, he made it clear the reason for his refusal to enter the service was his Catholic Faith. This is a dilemma that the Catholic Church in Korea faces, and will eventually have to take an official position that is clearer than that of the past.

Metanoia- Important Word For Our Lives

In the recent Catholic Peace Weekly , a priest with a doctorate in missiology mentioned his experience with a man in his religion class. The student had made a success of life, he was in his sixties, a model student sitting in the front row. However, on the face of the man he saw discontent. "Why is it that those in the upper classes don't exchange greetings with us , why is there so much 'do this and do that', I don't understand! Isn't this something that the school should deal with?" He was very critical and always complaining but there came a change.

This came about at the daily Mass they had at the school: each one of the students would express their thoughts on the readings and relate it to their lives. One day a man expressed himself in the following way:

"I am a person who by studying on my own was able to get a high position in government. I was a happy man , all was well . Suddenly a great misfortune entered my life. The son, I was greatly attached to, died in an accident while in the army. That incident was too much for me. I hated God and could not go to Church. Those that killed my son I could not forgive. It was during this time that I began to reflect on what God wanted from me. I gained some courage and decided to come to this school. I am still crying over the loss of my son but I have forgiven all those involved and looking forward to what I can do in the parish and society."

The man in his sixties complained and grumbled less. From his mouth you heard the words: "I don't know. " He was always a good student but now he reacted with the students in a different way. He was the first one to greet the students and color returned to his face. The sharing he heard at Mass brought change in his life.

The column starting in the Catholic Paper is written by a priest who has studied mission theology and is stressing that we have to experience God in our lives if we want to be a bearer of his message. We have to be open to God's graces, and the experiences of others, this will change and enable us to give what we have received.

In recent years I have begun to realize that the the word repentance , penance, remorse and the like, are words that we translate into English from the Greek word metanoia, which means a change of heart. The words we use, both in Korean and English- penance and sorrow of heart, are static words, it doesn't necessarily move from sadness to action. Metanoia is a very active word, requiring a change in what we were, to something we were not. Using the word metanoia for the words we use for repentance in the Scriptures would help to bring about a change in our thinking, a feeling of incompleteness. The day is probably not too far away when metanoia will begin to appear in our dictionaries. "To live is to change and to be perfect is to have changed often." (Cardinal Newman)

Korea's Problem With Foreign Brides

The priest in charge of the labor work for the diocese of Seoul had a disturbing article in the Catholic Times describing the plight of the foreign women married to Korean men. The number of women who have immigrated to Korea for marriage in 2008 where 11% of the total. It is no longer strange to see mothers with different facial complexions mixing Korean into their talk. There are now, as of 2009, 103,484 children born from these unions in Korea.

We usually hear about the problems of these women through the mass media. Many express much sympathy for these women but a statement by a group of priests familiar with the problem said: "the way we see the problem has improved ...but still our understanding has to change."

These women are faced with a great deal of difficulty right from the beginning. Many try to throw off their poverty by international marriages: it is relatively easy and inexpensive to get into the country. Many Korean men go through marriage brokers to find a wife; they have to use a sizable amount of money and the health and the age of the men is not a concern of the brokers. Consequently, the meaning of marriage, the duties and obligations are not considered important. Not only is the language a problem, but the different cultural barriers means the children have a good chance of being neglected. The poverty and the violence in the family causes many to break up, which becomes a problem for society.

Because of these problems the government and many NGOs are actively involved in helping these immigrant families. Even with all these efforts there are many women who are in very difficult situations: separated by death, divorce, or expelled by the in-laws, they end up trying to make it on their own. Their future is bleak, they are full of fear, have little strength, the violence they have heretofore experienced, does not compare with the fear they have facing the future.

These women are not just the object of our compassion, but they should be helped to become part of society. The work of their rehabilitation is important for their good and the good of society.

The government has now made it necessary for those marrying a Korean to know the language. It is a need to help the brides adapt to Korea .This is an area in which the Church is taking a very active part. The efforts of the government and the different groups in our society should bring about change. Those in responsible positions in the Catholic Church dealing with immigrant problems had a recent round table discussion, in which they have made known their proposals for improvement. The Church, and other parts of society know Korea is no longer a one cultured society, consequently the way of looking at the country has to change.

Children Born in Her Heart, Not by Pain

The Catholic paper had an article on a family that adopted 6 children after they had raised two boys born through pain. The other 6 were born in her heart: the mother's words for the birth of the adopted children into their family.



In Korea the blood line is very important. This was explained in a previous blog. This is breaking down, Korea is no longer sending that many children to other countries for adoption as in previous years. The family that was written up, not only adopted 6 children but was instrumental in getting 25 Korean families to adopt; this was recognized by the government and were given an official commendation.



Korea was considered by many to be an exporter of babies overseas. This is changing for there are now more in country adoptions than those sent overseas. The example of this Catholic family written up in the Peace Weekly is a sign that efforts are being made and with success. Publicity is a good means of spreading the good that is being done by many in Korean Society.



In Korea a child born out of wedlock is a great shame for the parents and they do not want it known, however, 32% of the single mothers in 2008 decided to keep their children, an increase over previous years. There are also many in-country adoptions done secretely. The government is making subsidies for single mothers available that will be more realistic, so there are changes that have helped the in-country adoptions. I have even heard of a young man who went to a home for unwed mothers to find a wife. He thought that a women who had the strength to overcome the stigma of being an unwed mother and refused to abort, would make a good wife.

Accolades for Gyodong High School

There was a surprising bit of news here in Gyodong recently: the high school with only 62 students had everyone of the students in 3rd year entering college. The The Joang Daily headlined the article: Remote island school triumphs-Gyodong High students win college places without relying on costly private tuition.

Exams are important in Korea, a history that goes back centuries. Many changes have been made but we still have the remains of the system in the civil servant exams, college entrance exams along with military exams . Each student is required to take the exam for college entrance, and the efforts to prepare for the exams are many and can be expensive, for those living in the country it is difficult to compete with those in the cities.

Parents living in the country or an island such as Gyodong, if finances permit, will send their children to the mainland and the better schools. It is obvious that those who have the benefit of better secondary education do a better job in the college entrance. This means that many students live apart from their parents, this makes the triumphant of Gyodong High School quite an achievement. When the better students decide to leave for studies in another area, the capability of the student body is diminished, efforts of the teachers not appreciated and the students and teachers discouraged.

There were fifteen students that earned admission to four-year universities and the rest to community colleges. Some of the schools were some of the best in the country. It is a credit to the principal who was recently appointed. The citizens of Gyodong asked for him to come to the island since he was just made a principal; being from the island they felt he would take a great interest in the education of the students. That is exactly what happened and the achievement was recognized by the media. Last year there were only 4 that were admitted to university. This means that they have to study for another year to take the exams again, usually attending academies.

In Korea, high school is not mandatory unlike middle school education. 97% of South Korea's young people complete high school which is the the highest percentage of any country. All the classrooms have high speed Internet access, the first to have this capability. It does show the interest that Korea has for education and its efforts in that field

Passing the school recently I saw placards out in front of the gate, directing our attention to the success. It will probably mean there will be fewer parents deciding to send their children to the city in the years to come.