Problems With Korean Ancestral Rites

The ancestral rites, performed a number of times during the year, is a very important cultural event in the life of many Koreans. The Catholic Church looks upon the rites as a beautiful custom and hopes this form of respect and prayer for the dead will continue. However, for many it is not always performed without problems.

At the time of the rites, ancestors are believed to be again present to their relatives, who gather from different parts of the country to remember what the ancestors have bequeathed to them: their last words, their wisdom, the family precepts, their good works--all becoming part of the family reflection.

In the old Korea, a distinction was made between the Ordinary Koreans and the noble classes in the practicing of the rites. Up until the change of the social status system of Korean society, the common people would have the rites only for their parents. After the change all were free to observe the rites going back four generations Considering the efforts required to do this, we can more easily understand the value of filial piety for the Korean.

Because of the many religions that have come into the country, the Confucian rites for the dead have not always gone well. The financial condition of the household and the long hours spent preparing the meals are part of the problem, but the most serious problem occurs when family members have different religious beliefs. Some consider bowing to be idolatry; others will not eat the ceremonial meals. Because of these difficulties, a family that comes together to honor the dead, expecting an atmosphere of peace and harmony, will often find, instead, a family in conflict.

A writer, recently commenting on these difficulties, criticized the behavior of those who see the rites as a form of idolatry. It should be a time of harmony, remembering the dead, and renewing the bound of family, but when anyone in the family group has difficulty in participating, everyone in the family suffers.

The Catholic Church has made the move from opposition to acceptance, and the writer wonders what more can be done so that all can participate in the rites to strengthen the family bonds of love and unity.

It was suggested that scholars of the different religious groups in the country could get together and work out ways to help all to participate in these rites. The Catholic Church could do it, and it would be a blessing if some of the other groups that have difficulties with the custom could work to remedy the problems. Families would then be able to come together and celebrate the ancestral rites in an atmosphere of harmony and peace.

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All The Way to Heaven is Heaven

If God is Love why did he make Hell? Below is a letter that a Korean priest received on this subject and included in a newsletter.

"Why is it that parents will die in a fire for their children but no matter how bad the child is parents would never have them burn in a fire? Why then would God send his children to a hell of fire? Furthermore, if a person does sin can that be considered a one person's problem, isn't that a problem with God, who made us? With a problem child, you usually have problem parents. Since God is all powerful isn't that a problem in God? How could He who gave his life for us send us to hell? If someone says to me do you know how much I love you then why don't you love me; if you don't love me, I will throw you into hell's fire. What are we to make of that? Will one feel sorry or rather think that is crazy? If God loves us how could he send us to hell. I can't accept that kind of God. "

This is a problem for many people and brings fear into their lives. The writer explains that God is not the creator of evil nor did make hell. Hell is the choice of the person.

When we do something wrong we are ashamed or have a guilty conscience. This guilt prompts us to run away from God. In this whirlpool of confusion we still have to decide what to do. When we finally acknowledge our guilt, there are three possible responses to God: admitting our shame and turning toward God, living with the guilt and the despair, or deciding that life is not worth living. .

God will let us know what our faults are and when we have done wrong. A person of faith when presented with this knowledge gives thanks and in shame goes to God. If we live our faith life in this way, there is no way that we will inflict the pain of hell on ourselves.

This does not speak very clearly to me and this whole question is one that is not easy to understand, but it is the revelation that the Church has received and will continue to try to understand up until the Second Coming. There are a few things that are clear. God doesn't send anybody to hell. It is the choice of the individual; God, having made us free, has to respect that. That is far from a satisfactory answer but for Christians, when we become members of the body of Christ and do nothing to separate ourselves. we are already living the blessed life of heaven.

A Visit With The Korean 'Han'

One of the Japanese Corporations that do business in Korea is the athletic equipment company ASICS, named for the five letter acronym of the Latin words no one seems to know: Anima Sana in Corpore Sano--a sound mind in a sound body. Few will deny today that the mind can have profound effects on the body and that the body can affect the mind.The two have been found to be so interconnected in neurobiological studies that the words "mind" and "body" are often joined and discussed together in the expression "the mind-body connection."

One of the priests in the diocese frequently asks me about my health: am I eating well, sleeping well, and having good bowel movements. This is his criterion for bodily health.
However, we must not forget the role of the mind in achieving and maintaining health.

Recently I read that to have a healthy mind three things are necessary. They are expressed by the same Korean words--with different meanings--used to describe the health of the body: expressing feelings honestly, stopping self-tormenting criticisms and learning to relax, and dealing with everyone without discrimination.

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The article goes on to explain why this approach is necessary; without it we can feel regret and sorrow when our desires are not satisfied--a state of mind that Koreans call "han." Whenever desires are not satisfied, it is believed that there is a build up of han, which results in a tense and anxious condition, and confused feelings that sometimes cause us to do what we know we should not do. With deep-seated han the heart is said to become heavy as if one has been sentenced to death on trumped up charges.

This han is considered something uniquely Korean and the "soul of Korean literature," and yet it's a complex feeling difficult to describe precisely--at least 22 definitions have been attempted. Park Kyong-ni, one of Korea's most respected contemporary writers, describes it as being a feeling "both of sadness and hope at the same time," as if living at "the core of life," with its many difficulties and dualities. Sadness comes, she says, when we realize and accept that difficulties are an unavoidable part of life. Hope comes from the will to overcome the difficulties, no matter how impossible this may seem.

Christians deal with the han by getting closer to our Lord by living the Paschal mystery. We die daily to be born again. The sorrows and failures we experience are a birth to even something better following the example of our Lord.

Putting Insult On the Menu

Eating a great many things that are not digestible is very Korean. They can eat insults, age, fright and a long list of uneatables. One priest spent some time in a newsletter telling us about what eating of insults should mean to us as Christians.

He tells us that we are all going to have our share of eating insults, abuse or shame. We should prepare ourselves for this possibility. Our Lord has made this clear in his teaching and by the example of his life. To avoid eating abuse means that you avoid doing anything.

The writer uses the passage from the Scripture where a friend comes at night asking for bread and doesn't take no for an answer. He accepts the possibility that the owner of the house used some unpleasant words during the give and take and finally did get up to give him the bread he asked for. (Luke 11:5-8).

In every society, a person that is going about his work will eat insult. If we are going to achieve anything then we should be prepared to eat insults. In Korea to eat insult means you will live a long time. Excepting the things that are done in hurting others or the society in which we live, eating insults tell us that when we don't hide what is in us, and we honestly say what we feel this is very good for our health. When we don't repress what is in us, we show a more relax exterior, even if we are scared and eat abuse we will have peace and we will be building up energy.

A person that is trying to avoid eating abuse is going to have to hide a great deal from others and is going to be conscious of what others are thinking and fear. According to the writer we may be praised for being a kind man but will not be doing many important things, and be open to many health problems.

He finishes his articles by telling us it is important not to eat abuse, but if we spend all our time trying to avoid the possibilities, we will not be living in the truly Christian way. For Jesus who is our example did not avoid eating abuse and that is the reason he died on the Cross.

Korea's Reputation for Hospitality

A Parish Foreign Missioner asked a Seoul priest if it would be possible to arrange bed and meals for a group of 106 French Catholics on their way home from the World Youth Day in Australia. They wanted to spend some time in Korea before returning to France. Thinking that it would be a good experience both for the youngsters from France and for the Catholics in his parish, the priest agreed to make the arrangements. He talked it over with the parish council and a committee was set up to take care of the details for the 9 day stay in the parish.

The priest reflected on the various ways his parishioners would benefit from the encounter with these youngsters from a different culture and speaking a different language. He hoped that it would, above all, help to foster a Catholic mentality--an experiential sense of what it means to say we are all one in Christ. Secondly, because he thought that Korea was overly influenced by American values, being with those from a different culture seemed to him to be a good way to further a better understanding of the cultural differences that separate us. Thirdly, they would learn that it was possible to communicate with others without language. And even if some of these expectations did not materialize, we would still have the opportunity, the priest thought, to show that Korea is not "the land of hospitality" in name only. We will have a chance to practice both our Korean and our Gospel values.

That was the plan the priest had in mind. But keeping such a large group of foreigners content for nine days was not going to be easy for his parishioners. And the preparation was not without difficulties. As was to be expected, there was some grumbling, but after three months of preparation everything was in place to welcome the visitors.

And everything did work according to plan. The women in the parish prepared the meals each evening for the visitors; other meals were served in the homes of the parishioners. Youngsters from the parish were assigned to different classrooms and given the task of acquainting their guest with Korean culture: playing games, making rice cakes, painting on Chinese writing paper, writing their names in Korean script. A space in the parish basement was set aside and furnished as a cafe where they could talk, sing and dance.

All in all, the priest was very proud of the parish youth and the parishioners. They learned a great deal and their guests left Korea with an appreciation of another culture and its people that will last for a life time.

Rejoice Always Even During Lent

Last Sunday the liturgy reminded us that, even in Lent, we should find a reason to rejoice: it was Laetare Sunday. Life is a gift and no matter the difficulties and the reasons not to rejoice, there are always good reasons to give thanks and rejoice.

In a meditation on Lent which I recently read, the writer mentioned a young man who was working on his doctorate in philosophy and already had job offers to teach. One day, complaining of a severe headache, he went to the doctors and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. After the operation, he was not able to read. For three year he lived with the thought that all he had hoped for in life was now not possible. With his dreams turning to ashes, he fell into a deep depression. .

During the period of convalescence, he had contact with others in the same situation. Relating with those who had similar dreams that were smashed but who started dreaming

again of better times enabled him to snap out of his depression.

He found peace in the thought that he was living with those who felt as he did,

alienated, and this gave him new hope. Unfortunately, there are many who have lost everything: their health, their work, their material goods, their honor. Finding it hard to continue, some give up and accept a life without hope; some others decide such a life is not worth living and commit suicide. Fortunately, there are some who, facing the same difficulties, are able to give hope to others. .

Life can be difficult and far from pleasant for many, and Lent is a good time to reflect on this reality. There are many living today who have little to live for; we keep them in our prayers. It's helpful to remember that Lent is also a good time to gain the inner strength to face the problems that may come into our lives.

The key for observing a good Lent is to remember the paschal mystery. We die to one thing to be born to something else and to even a greater good and joy. That is what Lent and Easter should mean to us.

The Beautiful Ending Of a Life Well Lived

A well known Korean died on March 11th in Seoul at the age of 78 after a long battle with lung cancer. He was a best-selling author of 30 books and a Buddhist Monk who had won the respect and love of Koreans from all sectors of society. His best known book, Non-possession, over 3 million copies sold, was written for those who were looking for a better material life--a life he spent a lifetime stepping away from. In this book, he urged others to take another look at living a more non-materiialistic lifestyle, a life guided by non-attachment to things of this world. "Poverty," he wrote, "made by choice is not poverty at all."

His life was one of non possessing. His only possessions were clothes, eyeglasses, and a tea-pot. Even in death, he wanted a funeral as simple as possible--no casket or shroud. And, although his books were best sellers, he requested that there should be no more printings made of his books. He had left nothing behind, and he wanted his words to disappear as well.

He was friends with many Catholics, including a close relationship with the late Cardinal Kim and poet Sister Lee (Claudia) Hae-in. In an interview appearing in The Chosun Ilbo, Sister Lee Hae-in mentions a number of cherished moments with Beong Jeong. When the Sister used a Buddhist word, he would respond with a Catholic word. Cardinal Kim and Ven. Jeong were able to keep their religious beliefs and convictions without having that interfere with the respect they showed towards the beliefs of others. Sister would like to see that way of seeing others imitated by society.

She mentions how Beong Jeong's writing style was able to reveal his character so clearly and simply--qualities of writing that were very much the qualities of the man himself. His style was who he was. He had a gift of going deeply into what he was writing about, a gift of insight that attracted a devoted following of readers.

She recalled a time when he came to see her in the convent in Pusan, and they went out to the ocean to walk along the beach. (She regrets not having a picture of that meeting.) Beong Jeong told her he spent most of his time living in the mountains and that he was happy to see the ocean. He was used to eating only rice instead of the broth that was now beside him; he said it was good. .

He was, by any standard, a great man with much to teach a society that feels material progress is of primary importance. In The Beauiful Ending, he wrote "A beautiful ending always requires the preparation to leave. It resembles a pilgrim or a traveler not attached to anything. It is about using the gifts of the universe gratefully and preparing to leave everything behind.''