Growing Old Gracefully

Writing in the Kyeongyang Magazine a professor explores the meaning of growing into old age. For many, aging is just an addition to the passage of time. Instead of finding meaning in aging, accepting it and preparing for it, they fear the passing of youthfulness and of health. 

It's necessary, he says, to acknowledge the weakening of our body and mental functions and to begin focusing on the spiritual dimension of life. The second half of life should not be a repetition of the first half; doing so, we delude ourselves.

Our society is getting older and the media do not see it in a positive way, which then affects how most of us respond to growing old. Is it true that there is nothing to see positively in growing old? the professor asks.

We commonly say: we are rusting as we get older. However, the professor tells us that  rust can also be seen in a positive light. Black rust and even red rust, because of certain chemical changes, makes the metal  stronger and gives it many new uses.

He turns our attention to Simeon and Anna in the gospel of Luke; they are the first ones to proclaim the Gospel. Both have suffered much, which enabled them to  have a full spiritual life. They prayed, fasted and served others, giving them the wisdom and the insight to see themselves and life correctly.

To grow in wisdom like Simeon and Anna, we have to embrace growing old like they did. We have to know ourselves, divest ourselves of youthful desires and from the values of power, honors, material goods and health. Our real values are not external to us but exist within us, in knowing we are loved by God.

In old age, as our bodies get weaker, we can become stronger in defending ourselves against temptations and trials of life; it can be a beautiful time. Along with the 'rust', we can take on a jewel-like existence, which is another gift of God. When society can see the internal life of the aged positively, they will no longer see them as a burden on society, and we will have more of us living a fuller life.  

Like Simeon and Anna, if we grow in wisdom and peace and  pray that God's blessings be given to others, is this not loving God and our neighbors and living successfully our twilight years?  With this outlook, we can peacefully accept loneliness, disease, and even death. To do this, we have to forgive more, practice detachment more, and pray more. 

Happy Lunar New Year

Today is the Lunar New Year, and because of the three-day holiday followed by the weekend we will have five days to celebrate. It is a family holiday, and many will try to be with family. No longer having the extended family as in the past, members of separated families are leaving the hustle and bustle of the  big cities to spend a few days with family in the  quiet of the country.

This morning the first thing to be remembered by everyone are those who have died and given them life. There will be the Charye ritual (praying for the dead)  and then Saebae, bowing to the living family members, exchanging well wishes, and having breakfast together. The Church respects this family ritual and wants to see it continued. The Catholics often end the morning by going to Mass at the parish church.

We will have Mass at the Gyodong mission station at 10:30 am. This Mass and the office of the dead will  be attended by  families whose ancestral home is considered to be Gyodong. These visitors, many of them returning to be with parents and grandparents, will often be at the Mass offered for the deceased.

The first reading in the liturgy today is taken from Numbers chapter 6:22-27, the priestly blessing on the Israelites. The second reading is taken from James 4:13-15, asking us not to be presumptuous about the future. The Gospel is taken from Luke 12:35-40, where we are told to prepare to meet our ancestors and the  coming of Jesus into our lives.

New Year for the Korean is the time when the old and the new, the deceased  and the living, heaven and earth, and the family join in preparing for another year. It should be a time for  reflection and to recall what is important in life, instead of getting caught  up in the fast pace of modern life, forgetting why we are here and where we are going.

A German Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper informs us "that the essence of leisure is an 'attitude of mind' and a 'condition of the soul.' True leisure involves contemplation and being receptive to things as they are in themselves. It means being open to things without regard to their value or how we can make use of them. The only way that we can enter true leisure is by stepping outside the routine of our daily life."

The time we take to be with family should provide us with the opportunity to break this routine, to cultivate the attitude of mind and condition of soul that Pieper believes will bring us true leisure, a time for recalling the important things in life.

Happiness According to Mencius

From the Chinese Classics, a columnist, writing for the Catholic Times,  takes the words of Mencius as her topic. The three joys of a virtuous person: to have long-living parents, and siblings without problems; to look up at the heavens and at others without shame; and to teach those who have talent.

Mencius makes us aware that he does not include the king in his list of three joys, probably scolding the king for not spending more time in trying to live virtuously instead of always being at war.  

The first joy, to have long-living parents and children living in harmony, is usually seen in families when love for one another is deeply felt and expressed, each one helping the other and showing concern for their parents. But this joy is a gift that we can't completely control; there are many families where this harmony is missing. Certainly, a great suffering for parents occurs when the children do not get along-- a lack of filial piety.  There is little that can break the heart of parents like the trouble between children. Children should remember, when something comes between them, that the one who suffers most will be the parents.

The second joy, to live in a way that does not bring shame on us, is within our control.  Living authentically and letting our conscience be our guide will guarantee that we will have no regrets when we look back on our life.
 

The third joy is truly a joy but is one that must be qualified in someway at least for a Christian. There are few  geniuses or  talented persons, we  have a chance to teach. Teaching topics that are objective, that have a right and wrong answer makes it easy on the teacher and gives joy when the students  learn the  process and have a eureka moment.  Many subjects are not of that type and the joy may take longer to achieve but the teacher's expectations make the teaching enjoyable even though  we are not dealing with geniuses.
 

 Our Lord's teaching can show us how to deal with persons who were far from persons of talent. He spent three years with his apostles in a close personal relationship. They were slow learners and disappointed him in many ways.  However, we can say that Jesus had great expectations of what they could  become. And this should also be our expectation when teaching--that there will be a change in those we teach.

Even when dealing with those who are among the most difficult to teach, the mentally handicapped, our expectation of change not only brings joy to us who teach but also energize those we teach to make the change we believe they can make. Teaching, when done well, becomes a discovery of the potential that lies within all of us--each of us is a possible prodigy.

What Does It Mean To Do Your Best?

Is this the best you can do?" said a character in a TV drama watched by a columnist in the Catholic Times. It prompted him to ask the same question of himself and others: Are we doing the best we can? He has tried, he says, but knows that he consistently falls short of what he intended. 

The head of one of the  big Korean conglomerates answers the question by saying that he tries, in his own way, to do his best.  We think we have been doing our best but others often see the reality differently--our best in their eyes is not their best. Because of our comfort range and different situations in life, the standards, we use to determine "our best" vary from person to person and consequently so will our beliefs vary on what actually is the best we can do.  

Also important to remember: Those that have found success in life have not necessarily done their best--doing your best is not  another word for success. We have to have eyes that see through the currents of our times, and double our effort, he says, in doing what we know to be the best for us.  Although our best may then result in more effort and pain for us, the reward comes as a gift.

Our columnist believes that "Doing our best" is one of our most beautiful expressions. Many people prefer to think that doing your best is material success. But he tells us that we should aim not for what we think is success but  putting are heart and soul in what we do. Whether we succeed or fail in the pursuit  is immaterial. In doing our best we will not have any regrets--doing our best is itself the success.  

As Christians we have the task of loving God and our neighbor. When we go about doing this with joy and delight we receive great blessings. This is the mystery of living with faith. When we desire nothing, but do what we are doing with our whole  heart and soul, we leave the results  up to God. We have the example of Jesus, who in life would be considered a failure, someone crucified on a cross, but when we look at the cross we see what is not there, which makes all the difference.                                                   

On the Spot Experience of Poverty

Writing in a newsletter for priests, the writer recounts  a visit to one of the poorest sections of Manila. He wanted to experience  poverty  first hand, and tells us he did it with  'pure motives,' although he did put a question mark after the word. His plans were to live with three families during a period of 15 days. In retrospect, he  confesses that he had a romantic notion of poverty  and  a very immature mindset. He was not able to last a week before he raised the white flag of surrender. Poverty, he now realizes, is not the simple back-to-nature condition he imagined but tends to create hopelessly difficult living conditions.

The life of poverty for this Korean, an 'alien' in a foreign land, meant not only being deprived of food, shelter and clothes, but being affected in spirit as well--he was frightened. One of the houses was built on water with logs used as piles for a foundation, making a four-square meter small house. Eight people lived in the house. Drinking  water, which looked whitish, from a nearby well, was  bought for 10 cents. The toilet, a square hole in the floor at the water's edge, was open to the sight of all.

He changed his plans  not because he didn't eat well or wasn't able to sleep in the small quarters. The decision came because he feared a  typhoon would sweep the house into the sea. He left because he was afraid.

That he was not able to live up to what he had planned did bother him.For him now, poverty is an impossible dream. It's no longer the ideal he had envisioned. However, he knows that not all react in the same way to poverty.  He remembers the laughter of the inhabitants of a poverty-stricken village. The poverty he saw there did not make the villagers miserable, maybe a little uncomfortable, but it was not the cause for making them unhappy.

Seeing the life of these people living like they did, he realized the falseness of the belief that money makes for happiness and the more you have the happier you will be. He acknowledges that even though he's not living the poor life, he can appreciate the life of poverty of many who are. In his own value system he does not want poverty for its own sake, but for the peace and freedom it can give. Jesus said, "Happy are those who are poor in spirit." Is this, he asks, really the case? This will be his topic of meditation for some time to come.

In Korea, there are many who want to experience the life of those with whom they are not familiar. Bishops go to farms and mines for an on-the-spot experience. Seminarians come to Korea to see what mission life is like. German bishops have been here to experience the small community group meetings. This learning experience is acknowledged as the best way to understand a way of life foreign to one's own--better than reading, hearing, or seeing pictures about it.  There is nothing  like an on-the-spot experience to move the heart and to change the way we see reality.

Helping to Build Bridges With North Korea

This coming Sunday we observe, as we have since 1993, Overseas Aid Sunday when  what we collect in all the Churches is shared with the poor in the world. This year, however, a new organization, Caritas Korea International, formerly Caritas Korea, will help with this work and will have a broader global outreach than in the past.

  

Caritas Korea International began originally in 1974 with the name "Human Development Committee," becoming Caritas Korea in 1991. Most of the relief work was done here in Korea but for the last 18 years $21 million has been allocated for foreign aid, some of it, in recent years, going to North Korea. The domestic relief services will now be conducted by the Bishops Social Welfare Committee.
   

The two Catholic papers, in front page articles, described the beginnings of the new organization. The Bishop responsible  said there are many difficulties that have to be surmounted when setting up a network for receiving donations from the Korean Church. "But from now on," he said, "Caritas Korea International is going to take charge of these international dealings and pave the way for humanitarian aid to North Korea, which is currently at dead lock."
 

Father Gerard Hammond, the Maryknoll local superior, was asked to form the new group responsible for helping the North. Fr. Hammond has been to North Korea 60 times  since 1995 and is familiar with the difficulties of working to the help the North. "The people are poor, the children and the women and the old are especially in need of unconditional help."

During the many times, he has made trips to the North, he and his group have brought aid to TB patients, given advice on farming methods and seed distribution, provided farming equipment and many other aids for self-help projects. Fr. Hammond  said there is much poverty, and TB is a big scourge. He regrets that more help is not available for the North.

Expressing himself on the rigidity that exists in the present relationship with the North, he said   help that was given by Korea Caritas and now International Caritas was sorely needed humanitarian aid. He hopes that it will not be distorted by the political infighting that goes on.

He wants to build more bridges of communication with the North and to see more flexibility on both sides of the relationship. He will do his best to be a bridge builder.

 

  

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Going in Search for the Lost Sheep

The effort the Church is making to return the lost sheep to the fold is impressive. It is also old fare, said the Peace Weekly in its  editorial, with results leaving a great deal to be desired. One third of registered Catholics are no longer seen at Church.

One diocese was given their marching orders by the bishop in his pastoral letter to all the Catholics: "Let all the parishes and districts of the diocese work together in harmony, and with all our energy in the work of evangelization." 

One parish makes clear that this pastoral work is not new and is rather simple: You go to them and bring them back. The key is the will and the effort of the pastor. It is no easy task, especially when there is not a good feeling toward the Church, so wholehearted effort is required.

The lead article in the Peace Weekly profiled a pastor who visits all the families within his parish area, often hearing confessions for those interested, and when the visits are finished, he has a Mass in the village where they all gather. If you listen to them and show them a warm interest, the pastor says emphatically, they will return.

The Sisters mentioned that a woman blocked the priest from entering her house with her body at the front door, telling him to go home. The priest had telephoned in advance and was told that he would be greeted with insults. He asked only for 5 minutes of her time; the sisters say that in most cases of this type there is a change of heart.

Those who don't want to talk to the priest will often say, "I will be going out soon." This is a Korean way of not being blunt and at the same time saying no. However, there does seem to be a difference between the tepid in Korea and those from other areas of the world. It  seems to be, for most of them, not a question of loss of faith, but rather circumstances that make it difficult to go to church--sometimes it's work-related, and sometimes it's difficulties within the church community.

The culture in Korea does not  seem to have accepted the ideas of the West when it comes to truth, authority, relativism, objective reality and skepticism. They may do what the West does but with a very Korean state of mind and with a feeling of guilt. The young may have accepted more of the Western ideas, which means that we will be seeing a change in our society soon.