Before modern times, women were asked to follow the "three roads of submission": as a child to their father, as an obedient wife to their husband, and in old age, obedient to their son. When following this unwritten rule, they were eulogized as an obedient child, a virtuous woman, and a wise mother. The Catholic Times columnist, in the View from the Ark, asks why should that understanding be a negative way of looking at women? Because, in his view, it is based on the belief that women are inferior to men; and within the family, the patriarchal mentality ruled.

Today, the ideal of obedience is held in high esteem and rightly so, but an unconditional, dictatorial obedience is more likely to be found in Korean society. It's not unusual that a child does not raise her head in the presence of the father's orders, and to a husband's wishes a wife is not allowed a response, and in old age one is often restricted to silence by the authority of the son. Such cultural mandates are amply illustrated by a  phrase from the past: a new bride receives recognition only after living for three years as if dumb, three years as if deaf, and three years as if blind.

In today's world, women have their own dreams and hopes, and have the same chances for education as the male. Though there is sharing of chores, and the same opportunities for work without being discriminated against, a glass ceiling does exists but much has changed.

However, many women remain with the mentality that was seen with the three submissions. The daughters have a difficult time expressing their hopes and desires to the father. They hope to meet the right man and with this vague expectation, they face the future. Said as a quip: "With 10 more minutes of study, the   job of their future husband will change." (meaning that the more they study the better their chances of meeting a wealthier  husband)   Mothers feel that if their children do well their family condition will change. And very often, as soon as a child is old enough to speak, they are introduced to English, drawing, math, piano, Tae kwon do, and the like.

After marriage, it is this dream and hope that remain for the women. They live by trying to achieve their dream through their children, losing, knowingly or unknowingly,  their own dream and hopes. The columnist wonders if this might be the reason diet and cosmetic surgery influences much of the women's world in our  society.

The World Economic Forum recently published the Global Gender Gap Report for 2013. Among 136 countries, Korea ranked 111th. There were four categories studied: economic participation, educational attainments, political empowerment, and health and service opportunities. It was a surprisingly low ranking for Korea, said the columnist.  The study was made, he believes, before  the newly elected woman president and the increasing numbers of women elected to parliament.

Women should be as free as men and as appreciated for their independence as are the men. Women need to be conscious of this reality, the columnist says, and work to foster it in their lives. Will this not be the way to realize in our society true equality of the sexes? he asks, and quotes from the Catholic Catechism (#2335): "Each of the two sexes is an image of the power and tenderness of God, with equal dignity though in a different way."

Church and State Problems in Korea

The involvement of the Catholic Church in politics has received strong censure recently by the government and certain segments of the mass media.  A member of the Catholic Priests Association of the diocese of Jeonju, who called on the president to resign because of the intervention of state agencies in the presidential elections, was the occasion for this latest conflict. The priest expressed his opinion that the government is making North Korea an enemy and gave examples which, according to the National-Security Law of the country, would be seen as illegal. This is the back-story for the editorial comments in the Catholic Times.

The editorial speaks about the different political views held by members within the Church being no different than similar views held by members of the same society and how the mass media distorts the situation to serve their own purposes. Expressing its dissatisfaction with how the government and the media are pursuing this issue, the editorial was headlined: "Don't Use the Church."

Outside of its authoritative teaching on faith and morals, the Church, having no desire to support or criticize any particular political policy, does not demand conformity of thinking or foster a similar worldview, both neither possible nor desirable, says the editorial.  And when the mass media makes it seem that differences of opinion on political issues indicate conflict and division within the Church, the editorial points out that this is not only inaccurate but deceptive.

It does concede that when a priest, a pastoral minister, speaks out on a controversial political position more discussion is necessary. What should be the extent and limits of political involvement of the Church, when questions of unfair elections, societal injustices, media deception, and other grave societal problems arise? In a democracy, the editorial says that such subjects should be openly debated, not only outside the Church but within the Church as well.

However, when the government and the mass media speak out against a member of the Church and uses his personal views to condemn the whole Church and to foster division and enmity within the Church community, this activity needs to be addressed and denounced. They should also refrain, the editorial continues, from using the words of the pope and the bishops of Korea, their documents and the Scriptures, whenever they wish to bolster their position and to serve their policies.

A spokesman for the archbishop of Seoul was  quoted:  "There is no one Catholic position on this issue....There are many different opinions...the government authorities, to serve their own purposes, are  using this issue as a tool for their political aims, which is wrong. " The editorial concludes  that Catholics themselves, who have been called to follow in the footsteps of our Lord in justice and love, should not fail to be prudent and humble in the firestorm of these contentious issues. 

The End of the Year of Faith

We  have come to the end of the Year of Faith. The Catholic Times in its first page article offers an in-depth study of the results, and in the accompanying editorial comments reflects on what was accomplished and not accomplished.

"New fervor, a new way, and a new expression" was the motto with which we began the Year of Faith. The desire was to address the new evangelization with hope for renewal, discovering new aspects of our faith life and making for a stronger Church.  The Year of Faith commemorated the 50th year of the start of the Second Vatican Council. It was also a desire to live the teachings of the council and  to combat  secularism, relativism, materialism, individualism and the like, in order to bring us closer to a new understanding of our role as disciples of Jesus.

Pastoral  messages, seminars, symposiums, the distribution of literature and a variety of programs for renewal were undertaken during the year to change the way we were Church.

The results were less than expected. A 6-month survey showed that 30 percent of our Catholics were not familiar with the Year of Faith, amounting to one out of three Catholics not knowing anything about the Year of Faith.  And, even more shocking,  67 percent did not participate in any of the programs offered during the year, though the opportunities were there to participate. When we realize that the  survey was taken among the more devoted Catholics, the results are clearly disappointing.

One layperson in a leadership position, and very much involved within the Church, said we should not look at the Year of Faith as a one-time event, but continue to live the ideals presented to us during the year. The  article concludes with his recommendation to continue reading the Scriptures, living the faith according to the guidelines set down during the Year of Faith, increasing our participation in community activities and in works of evangelizing, and to continue working for the renewal of ourselves and the Church.

Challenges That Have Changed Us

Most of us remember words that hurt, words that diminished our self-esteem. We may have clenched our teeth at what was said, as a friend or acquaintance pointed out our weaknesses and faults, and yet had to admit, later on, that they were the words we needed to hear to motivate us to make positive changes in our lives. A similar turning point in our lives might have been when a person, almost unknowingly, said something for fun, and that too brought a welcome change, and a new dream. The column on spirituality in the Catholic Times delves into the power of words we prefer not to hear.

Constructive criticism does not always turn out positively and may even have bad results, the columnist admits.  However, when a person who truly wants to help another to change, to become more mature by these verbal challenges, there can be good results.

The columnist cites an unusual example: A priest without any special talent but who worked hard and almost mesmerized himself into believing in the good results that come with hard work made this a hallmark of his conversations. In the beginning, when the columnist heard him use that language, it didn't bother him but in time it began to irritate. Does one have to always be doing something? he wondered. 

He finally decided to ask him why he kept on repeating that one has to make an effort to have good results. "Brother," he asked. "Why is it that you are always mentioning that we have to work hard? Is there a reason that  you make this such a talking point? Are you trying to convince yourself, more than others, of the need for effort?" The priest explained by talking about his life before going into the seminary.

"I never felt that I would have difficulty in the seminary but when I made my intentions known, my older cousin with whom I grew up, said he would pan-fry his hand if I succeeded in becoming a priest. When I first heard those words, they hurt, but since he knew my faults he was challenging me, and during the years in the seminary it helped motivate me, knowing that he must have wanted me to be a priest if he was willing to pan-fry his hand."  
 
When he found seminary life difficult and temptations came, he remembered what his cousin had said and renewed his determination to be a good priest.  At his first Mass, his cousin told him he was so happy to see him as a priest that he would not have minded having both hands pan-fried.  Here was a case where the challenge helped the seminarian, providing the strong motivation to work hard at what he was doing.

Today, the beginning of  the New Liturgical Year, is a good time to renew our own resolutions to accept whatever challenges come, as motivators to accomplish the goals we have set for ourselves.

What Do We Mean By Mercy?

Firing an employee is always difficult, both on the person fired and on the person doing the firing. Writing in the Kyeongyang Magazine, a religious sister recounts what she heard at a seminar regarding the firing of a worker without warning and the experiences of his family after he lost his job. The speaker at the seminar mentioned not only what had happened to the worker's family, but noted that the company had been asked questions concerning the fired worker. 

Here is an example of two different social classes in our society and, in this situation, in opposition to each other. The speaker was in a  position of trying to heal the scars inflicted in the firing and the sister provides us with the details.

The president of the company, who was responsible for the mass firing of  employees (including our worker) in the restructuring of the company, was interviewed. When he  learned about the difficulties of the worker's family, he was deeply moved and did help the family. He  said that before hearing from the interviewer, at no time did he have any thoughts about the problems families of fired workers have to face. His concern was the success of his company, the workers didn't enter his thinking, which clearly shows that the merciful attitude is missing in much of life. How could a mass firing of workers be done, she asks, without any thought given to the impact such firings would have on both the worker and his family?

The callousness and indifference of companies to hundreds and thousands of fired workers has left  many workers without hope and desperate--all of which is barely acknowledged by those responsible. The sister sees this as a result of  original sin. Immanuel Kant said that the best way to confront evil is to see the ethical properties of  an action, a position that requires reflection, a decisive decision, and the courage to refuse to participate in injustice.

To bring this thinking into our programs of teaching is nearly impossible, the sister says. The young will follow what they have seen, and follow the examples they have been given. The future does not look bright. The worship of the almighty dollar is part of our present culture and we have embraced it, she says, whole-heartedly.  Expressions of mercy in society is shown only by a few and this is not getting better.

In Acts 4:32, we have the example of Church: "The whole community of believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed any of their possessions as his own; but rather shared all things in common." In St. Paul,1 Cor. 11:21,  we hear the harsh words spoken to those who failed to share and have mercy on the poor. Showing mercy is the essence  of pastoral work.

She concludes her article by saying that often when these discussions come out in conversation with Catholics, there are those who  very gently say that more than action, what is needed is prayer. Isn't prayer the loving answer to the moaning that we hear in creation? she asks.  In our faith tradition we have always examined the fruits of contemplation, prayer and  reflection. There are times that blood, sweat and tears are demanded, always showing sympathy for those who are suffering. And we should remember, she says, that we pray not only to feel good but to emulate the way Jesus prayed and acted. 

Preparing for Baptism

Writing on the spirituality page of the Catholic Times, a priest recalls a conversation with a person who had finished his period of study and was ready to be baptized. Because of a previous commitment on the appointed day, the priest invited the young man to come to the research institute where he works, and they spent a great deal of time talking about the life of faith.

He asked the young man what did he find during the period of instruction the most inspiring. He said it was during the week when his own pastor was on retreat and another priest was giving the instructions that he was moved the most.  And why was that the case, the priest asked him. Was the lesson more interesting or easier to understand?

The  young man waved his hands in denial; as a matter of fact, he went on to say, he did not remember anything that was said.  Even when the priest carefully explained the instructions, many times he had no idea what was being said. "What moved you then?" the priest asked. Nothing that was said, he answered, but after the talk, the priest bowed his head and apologized to the group he was preparing for baptism. He had no idea what was in their hearts or in their heads, he said, for he had been baptized as a baby. Growing up, he considered the Church his second home, and after high school, he went to the seminary. "I have no idea what you people are going through," he told them, "but I will pray that you will have  joy living in God's  love and as a member of society." These words, the young man said, brought tears to his eyes.

When the priest had acknowledged to the group the difficulty of understanding everything being taught, the young man said he was grateful. It made it easier for him to admit  that the more he learned the more difficult it became to understand the lessons. And when this difficulty was directly addressed by the priest, it  gave him the strength and courage to continue. 
 
Though there are words and teachings that are difficult to understand, it is important that the catechumens be encouraged to open themselves up to the graces being given. When they are given encouragement, they are more receptive to the faith life being given, bringing more understanding as the newcomer to the faith is experiencing the joy and movements of the spirit.

While it's always gratifying to help those who are entering the Church for the first time, it's sobering to realize that the number of church-going Catholics has decreased in recent years, and those who have been baptized are not finding the life of faith as satisfying as they anticipated during their years of preparation. One reason is that our culture does not enforce what the newcomer has learned, and because the temptations are many. Better than the lecture method--though the easiest--to convey the teaching would be to enable the catechumen to put into practice in daily life what was learned in the classroom--as it was being learned. It might be a better preparation in dealing with an unfriendly culture,and surviving the many temptations that may seem even more daunting than they were before entering the Church.

Love Felt in Silence

A priest writing in the Bible & Life magazine recounts an incident that happened when he was in middle school. It was a Sunday afternoon and he had made plans to see a movie with a friend. He waited for over half an hour and when the friend did not show up, he made a call to the boy's home from a public telephone. A man answered the phone who he thought was his friend's father but it was his own father. He was so taken up with the prospects of seeing the movie and being disappointed when his friend failed to meet him that he had called his own home number. The father didn't recognize his son's voice nor did the son recognize his father's voice. When the father heard the name of his son's friend, he said that it was the wrong number for no one by that named lived there.

They say that those who have a loving relationship can tell by looking into the eyes of the other and know what is in their heart. And here we have a son talking to his father and failing to recognize each others voice.  Does that mean there wasn't love between them? the priest asks. He tells us that even despite what happened he never doubted his father's love. To make judgements about the existence or the absence of love in such cases is wrong, he says.  

Because they were not able to recognize the others voice, does that mean it wasn't  a close relationship? No, that is not the case, the priest insists. There was no doubt about the love they had for each other.  Why?  Simply because in that situation there was no indication by what had happened that there was a lack of love.

On radio recently, he said there was a public service announcement, "Don't say 'I want to see you.' Refrain from sending text messages with 'I love you.'  Don't press 'good' as a  comment. There is no need for such comments." The point that is being made is that there is no need to convey those messages without the person being present. Whenever you are driving a car simply keep your full attention on driving and not on sending text messages. This is the way to express that love.  Love should be sensed without feeling the need to do something because of circumstances.
 
He reminds us of the story of Mary and Martha from the Scriptures.  Martha showed  her love for Jesus by  working in the kitchen. She wanted Mary to show that same kind of love. There is no question that Martha was showing love for Jesus but in those circumstances Mary, by doing nothing, was also showing love by only listening to Jesus and she, as Jesus pointed out, had selected the better way. 

We often say that when we do nothing for the person we love, that is not love.  So we expect those who love us to show that love by what they do for us.  But love can be shown without any action or words. I can also love another in a particular circumstance by merely thinking in silence, by closing my eyes. Doing nothing for love can be a powerful silent doing within our hearts. Circumstances will determine how it will be expressed.