Korea has been divided for over 60 years, the lack of communication
between the North and South has affected the once common language of the
country. North Korean Refugees who have come to the South are the first
ones to experience the change and the difficulties in communicating in
the same country. The language spoken in Pyongyang and Seoul are
different. At present, basic communication is possible, but if we continue going our two different ways, with
unification we will have a problem not easily remedied.
The
representative of the bishops' committee for reconciliation of the
country writes of some of the difficulties he has experienced in dealing
with the refugees from the North living in the South. He has invited
young people from the North to a meal. The answer comes back
bluntly, not a refusal but neither an obvious acceptance: he
surmises they don't want to relate with him, not interested, no
need to be concerned. This understanding comes mostly from the
intonation of their voice, facial expression and rough exterior. He learns
quickly that's not the message that they want to give. The answer is
actually OK, and is embarrassed in harboring the negative thoughts.
On
one occasion after finishing a meal together in a restaurant the person
said to his understanding: "my back hurts because of the way I put on
my shoes." This was not at all what was said, but: "for no reason my
back hurts." What the South would call octopus they call squid.
And many similar examples are the different meanings for words used.
Some are completely opposite from their use in the South.
The
North has made great effort to exclude foreign words in contrast to the South. Many of the words in the South, because of the long interaction with the rest of the world, uses many words from English and other
languages but the North has maintained a desire for 'purism' this
movement is also present in the South but has not progressed far. A
limited use of Chinese characters have been accepted in the North after
years of refusal; the South continues with the 1800 characters they work with in the schools.
The
article mentions how often they use the same words to mean two different
things. In conversation they think they are understanding each other
but are not. This is not an infrequent occurrence.The foreign words
that the North Koreans see are one of the biggest problems they
have in feeling at home in the South.
When relating
with those from the North he recommends to remember how it would be living in a foreign country doing your studies. Gently ask after
speaking whether they understand what was said. Because of embarrassment
they will not ask you to repeat, but will give the impression they
understand when they don't. Don't force the issue, don't look down on
them, don't get angry. Remember how we would be in a foreign country.
With this attitude we will come to an understanding and acceptance of
each other.
A
survey was made among 1500 citizens on their knowledge of hospice and
palliative care, the results showed that only 39.5 percent were
familiar with the hospice movement. An essay in the Catholic Times by a nurse in a Catholic University hospice ward gives us her thoughts on the subject of palliative care.
She
has been a nurse for thirty years, and only a few years before did she
become acquainted with the movement; if this is true of a nurse, she
says, how much more so for others. She has worked in all the
different wards of a hospital, and remembers the efforts she made to
solve the problems the sick faced, and found great satisfaction and
was filled with confidence in the work.
Assigned
to the palliative care ward this all changed. In the beginning she felt
helpless in dealing with the terminally ill cancer patients. She felt
her limitations and great uncomfortableness in working in the ward. But
with the passage of time she began to feel a numbness to her
surroundings and felt guilty in being so callous, and wanted to get back
to the thoughts she has when she first became a nurse. This coldness
appeared unconsciously, she feels, in defense of seeing so many who
were dying, something she did not experience in the other wards of the
hospital.
One
of her misgivings, at present, is not being able to make the last
moments of the dying into memorable events for the families and the
terminally sick. As she mentions there are many, even among the medical
personnel, who feel those in hospice are only there awaiting for death.
It is true that they are there because death is imminent, but we can't
say we can't do anything. We can search for what makes them happy,
and make the last years of earthly life memorable for the dying and
their families.
We
are all preparing to die. Hospice workers are trying to make this
bereavement into something that will leave beautiful memories behind.
Efforts are made to make the time before death as painless and profitable as possible,
and to minimize the sadness attendant on the death of a love one.
Isn't
this the aim of palliative care? She concludes her essay with her
desire to be of more service to those dying and their families. She
feels like an important fellow traveler with the sick person and the
family member, and to serve as the outstretched hand of an
angel.
Families are the basic unit of society. When families are healthy
society is healthy. The role the family had as producer and consumer has
now been reduced to being where members sleep. The intensity of
competition in our society prevents families from being places of
security and rest; the influence of religion on the family has
weakened. These are the words a university professor, with experience
in the field, uses in his article on the family, in the Kyeongyang
Magazine.
The extended family in the past was able to
respond to our needs, both essential and non-essential. With
the change to the nuclear family this has become difficult. We find not
only the non-essential needs are filled outside the family, but also the
essential ones. Even the nuclear family is beginning to wobble. We have
both husband and wife needing to work, the pressure on children to study, and even the living apart of husband and wife for
the sake of the children's schooling. In the last 25 years we have a fourfold increase in divorces, and two times the number of unmarried
families.
Because of the lack of communication within the family we have the breakdown of family bonds. We do hear:
"Have you eaten? Where are you? Are you home? "Can we call this
communication? According to the mass media the face to face
communication has given way, in many instances, to the use of the smart
phone. Part of the reason is not only the lack of time but the lack of
matter to talk about; not only the generational gap but also the lack
of a common culture: without some commonality in
life we have little to talk about.
So what can we do? He
asks. Most know the present family reality is not conducive to happiness,
and are looking to bring joy back to the family. The professor
does not consider the solution as impossible or difficult: get rid
of competition, and work to build up community. We need an attitude
which sees the value of working together; work
against the coldness of materialism which denigrates our human dignity,
and find the values of community. These are the values that we as
Catholics have stressed and have tried to practice.
These
are not the values of our society so we have to work to change the
foundational system of our society. Egotism and the policy of
development at all costs has to change. The government has to
guarantee the right to a human life for all the citizens. This is not
the reality in our present society.
He concludes the
article by presenting us with the countries of Northern Europe and
their welfare state, as examples to follow. Instead of efficiency and
competition, the emphasis is on equality and care for all the citizens. Once we start looking at where the families live and the process of
education comes under the blanket of public welfare the original
understanding of family community and its function will recover.
Last Christmas, Fr. James Sinnott, died, a
Maryknoll Priest, who helped make known to the world the tragedy
surrounding the legalized murder of eight members of the People's
Revolutionary Party, that never existed. The government of Park
Chung-hee expelled him. He couldn't forget Korea, and with the arrival
of democracy, returned. A diocesan priest from Pusan, writing in the
View from the Ark, in the Catholic Times, reminds his readers of the
gift that Fr. Sinnott gave to our society.
Another
Maryknoller, Fr. Michael Bransfield, also left us quietly. While on the
island of Kang Hoa Fr. Mike in 1968, helped the young workers in a
textile factory on the island, working in difficult conditions, to
unionize. His efforts were strongly opposed, and he suffered much during
this period. This was the occasion for the Bishops of Korea to publish a
statement on the plight of the workers which was the beginning of the Church's formal concern for laborers. The article wants
us to remember the work of these two priests.
Bishop
Ji-Hak-sun, was the person that left us the gift of the priests'
Justice and Peace Committee which continues the work for human rights and
democratization; he did much before his death, to make Catholicism a
religion that has won the respect of many of the citizens.
However,
says the priest, in 1997 at the end of the 20th century with the IMF we
had something we had never experienced before, the beginning of the Neoliberalism period.
During the last part of the 20th century it was a fight for democracy,
in the 21st century a fight for distributive justice.
We
have those who have left us a gift with their mission and zeal in 20th
century but what are we in the 21st century going to leave behind for
our world and our descendants? Magnificent buildings that we are
leaving behind is not the answer. The problem with having enough to eat
is an issue with which we need to respond, and not something we can dismiss. Social justice and economic justice are two wheels of the same
cart,
Let us look
at the Scriptures with new eyes. We have a new way of looking upon our
society. We have to see our society in the way God looks on the society.
We have to have a different theology, a new spirituality. Are we not called to accept freely a life
of detachment--poverty- that will be the key to meeting the heartless
and selfish capitalism that we see around us? This is the key to
prevent our human existence from being trampled.
He concludes, they are working to incorporate a new type of spirituality in their Theology Research Center, and in the lay organizations in the diocese. Spirituality is not for the exclusive use of the religious and
clerics but for all. This, he says, will be our gift to those who follow
us.
In many of the interviews for employment one of the questions asked: "
What is it that you absolutely don't want to do? On the opinion page of
the Peace Weekly the writer mentions some of the answers: "I have no
problems." "Nothing special." She doesn't know if these answers are coming from the heart; and mentions her own response to the question in
an interview for a job some 4 years before. She remembers exactly how
she responded: "I hate to be forced to do something which I think is
wrong."
We spend a great deal of time in the workplace.
When the system to which we belong is going in a direction we don't
like, it is difficult to be content. Our whole body will revolt. When a
monk doesn't like the temple he has two choices: to change the temple
or leave. He has to choose the way that benefits him. If he decides to
leave, he has to realize that he will not have a chance to eat the tasty food of the temple again. Life is short, and to live doing
something you don't want to do is asking a great deal.
Last
May she heard about a friend who refused to go into the military. She
asked her friends about the young man, and was told that he wanted to
work against violence, and made his choice, and was imprisoned. This is
not something that happens rarely. In Korea we have over 850 who are now
in prison because of the draft, and a great majority are
Jehovah's Witnesses. Worldwide, 90 percent of those who are in prison
because of the draft are in Korea.
She doesn't want to
get involved with the arguments pro or con on the military; she doesn't
know what she would do if she were in her friend's shoes but she thinks
that there should be an alternative to prison for those who refuse the
military. Korea refuses the right of conscientious objection and does
not provide any alternative civilian service. Korea continues to violate the international agreement to respect this human right of conscientious objection; and insists their situation is different because of security.
On a train trip she noticed all the advertizing for academies for children: called so and so military academies.
Parents seem to have no problem with this, and go along with the
situation. The writer reflects how natural the military situation of
Korea is accepted by so many, and she sympathizes with those who are
poking us to wake up to this reality. We have conscientious objectors
who when released from prison will be call ex-convicts when they are not
convicts. There should be a way, she says, for those who do not want to bear arms to do so.
Society continues to demand qualifications for certain positions; education, licenses and examinations are needed, and one of the most
important positions in society is that of a parent, and no special
training is necessary. One needs a license to drive a car, but the
danger that follows on having children without necessary knowledge is
more dangerous.
A woman specialist in the field
writes in the Kyeongyang Magazine about parents need for knowledge in raising children. She mentions the many parents who see the problems
that come with children in their teens; the parents remember little
of what they experienced, and pass it off as a rite of passage.
There
is the axiom: When small the baby cries because of the parents, when
the child grows the parents cry because of the child. She gives us some
possible reasons for the crying.
1) Did the parents raise the child with their own personal inflexibility?
"When I was a child I did it this way you do it this way."
2) Was the child raised to be praised by others?
We have children without a mature personality and lack spontaneity.
3) Was there constant worry for the child?
This makes for a sensitive and highly nervous temperament.
4) Was the child in all instants under their thumb?
A child being treated like a 7 year older as a teenager will be irritable.
5) Was everything spoken an admonition?
This make for a child who doesn't know how to converse, and a child who has two faces.
What are some of the steps necessary in the education of the parents?
1) Some basic knowledge of the stages of growth.
2) Observe the child and know what to do.
3) Knowledge of what to do in certain periods.
We say that a habit acquired at the age of three lasts a lifetime. Great care should be taken during those early years. Teenagers
have reached another stage and have to be treated differently.
4) Place of family in the education.
The child is always learning in the way the family members are relating with one another.
5) Prevent problems, and methods of education.
The child needs to
feel secure. Admonitions and nagging is not what is needed, but words
that make sense and given positively and gently followed with the
example of the parents.
As with the maxim when one plants
black beans you get black, when you plant red beans you get red ones.
The personality of the child will depend on the attitude of the parents
and the way the child was reared.
Parents
have to learn how to be parents, and to work to improve their own
moral and spiritual qualities, they have to confer on themselves the
qualifications for raising a family.
Many things are handed down to us by our parents. One
is their belief system--their religion. Often considered of little value and discarded, but there are those that consider the practice of faith their most valued possession, or better
said, what possesses them.
Bible & Life in a
special section of the magazine has articles on the gift of faith
received from parents. A Salesian Sister recalls her life as a Catholic
and her earliest recollection was of the Easter Midnight Mass. She and her younger sister not able to overcome the
drowsiness fell asleep, using her mother's clothes as bedding, both
would sleep on the wooden floor.The mother would wake them at the
Gloria when the bells, both in and outside the church would ring, and
again at the end of Mass when the Eucharist would be put in the tabernacle. Here she was told Jesus arose from the dead. Now when she sees the
tabernacle light it is a sign of the resurrection.
The
church was just a few minutes walk from her house and they used the
church yard as their park. She would go to the church to study and even
nap. In the evening as the sun was setting her mother would ask her to
call her father for supper, and she would go up to the roof top to call him, he would be saying the rosary in the church yard.
Hearing his daughter's call he would go to statue of the Blessed
Mother, and she knew that the message had been delivered.
Her
family had not been Catholics for long, and the occasion was the
sickness of her older brother. The mother was preparing her offering of rice to give to the female shaman, and was told by the woman who was to be her godmother to give the offering to the bigger shaman at the
church. This was the godmother's way of introducing the mother to the
church. The brother was cured and the reason the mother entered the church and
the two girls were baptized. The grandfather and husband were adamantly
opposed but she went ahead, and the two girls became attached to the
church from an early age.
The father later on also was baptized,
and became a regular worker for the church; he even said if he came back to this world after death he would want to be a monk, this was not
received well by the mother who retorted she
introduced him to the church.
It was thanks to her
families example that she became a nun. In her middle years she was
afflicted with insomnia; during this time she ran across a passage in
Revelations: "Think how far you have fallen! Turn from your sins and do
what you did at first" (Rev. 2:5). When did she fall and need to
repent? She realized that she was not thankful for the many gifts that
she received, and was only concerned for what she didn't have and wanted.
In conclusion
she thanks Bible & Life for the opportunity to write about her
gift of faith. In writing the article she became conscious of all the gifts she received from God, family, her religious community, and all those she has been working
with, and is filled with gratitude.
