Today is Ascension Sunday, and the 49th Communication Day. This year
however, we see the message of the Pope directed not to preaching the
Gospel to the whole world but for the first time the
need for communicating in the family. The Peace Weekly editorial comments on
this change of emphasis. "The family, in conclusion, is not a subject of debate or a terrain for ideological skirmishes. Rather, it is an environment in which we learn to communicate in an experience of closeness, a setting where communication takes place, a “communicating community”.
The Church has shown the importance of the family in the two synods with family as the subject. Last year the extraordinary synod and this year in October the Ordinary synod both on the family. All the problems come from the family, and can be solved in the family.
"Communication, consequently, is an important part of family life, and we need to facilitate this kind of environment in the family."In the family, we learn to embrace and support one another, to discern
the meaning of facial expressions and moments of silence, to laugh and
cry together with people who did not choose one other yet are so
important to each other. This greatly helps us to understand the meaning
of communication as recognizing and creating closeness."
Communication in the family is a problem because of the structure and environment in which families live. In an article on the subject we are told that communication in the family is disappearing. From the office of statistics we are told the time children spend talking to parents continues to decrease, and noticed especially with the increase of smart phones. It is not unheard of a family, sitting down each with their smart phones, waiting for the food. Even a bigger problem is not to have anything to say when attempts at dialogue are made.
Father in his way, mother in her way and the children in their own way, make up the family. Only at some big event are they all together. There are days when they do not meet. Even the couple, in one out of three families, doesn't talk to each other for more than 30 minutes a day. The older the children get the less talk between the spouses.
"It is in the context of the family we learn how to communicate.
Focusing on this meaning can help make our communication more
authentic and humane, while helping us to view the family in a new
perspective." These words of the pope help us to understand how precious family ties are. The article on the subject ends with the words of a priest, head of a diocesan research center on the family: "members of a family have to realize how important members are to each other, and how precious to the growth of a person life in the family is."
May is the month of Mary and family. The family is the smallest community in society; the nation and society exist for the family. This teaching of the Church is emphasized, but sadly
the family is not what we expect and desire. Families are old, have a low birthrate, divorces are many; single parent families,
grandparents and grandchildren living together, make family life
difficult. In the Catholic Times the columnist spells out the problems he sees in society and asks: Is your family life happy?
Society
can't take care of all the problems families face. Families are
considered necessary for economic development, numbers being an
important index. Labor and education, with their competition are making life difficult for students and our young people. Peace of mind, that God wants for these young people and a feeling of worth is
difficult to achieve.
Not having a social safety net, the war of competition is the reality, and in many cases when they do
have a job they have difficulty making ends meet which makes for a low
birth rate. After the birth of the first child they see the
difficulties of raising a child and decide against any more. In a study that was made at Oxford
University in England: with the present
birthrate, Korea will no longer exist as a country in 2300.
Confusion
in society does not allow one to examine their condition. Emptiness is felt, and the family is of little help. Even over small
matters their are conflicts and marriage is faced with the possibility
of divorce, and yet without the time to think over what they want in marriage, they feel pushed into marriage. Children are the ones who
suffer from this condition.
Both father and mother
have to work and the children because of the structures of society often
do not have the love and warmth of family life. Loneliness is
filled with the smart phone, computer games, or the violence and
stimulation from images. Grandparents are tried beyond their ability in caring for the children. And we have those living alone in one room
shelters who have to eke out a living.
All these are
conditions of our society. It is not easy for the government to find
where to begin their efforts. As the basic community in
society, in which one is born in the image of God, we are to feel this dignity and called to live accordingly.
We
don't as people of faith just look at our families and sigh, and
worry about the future of the children, and the elders in society. We
don't only want to pray and worry about the future but also want to make the next year's month of the family a better place in which to raise a family.
We hear a lot about 'well-being' but little about 'well-dying'. In the Window from the Ark,
in the Catholic Times, a university president expresses his opinion on the subject. He
begins his column with the famous list that was left behind recently in
Korea, and the suicide by the person responsible for the distribution of
the 'black money' to politicians. Shock and lack of trust was the
feeling of many in society.
Korea has led the world
for the last 8 years in the number of suicides. When a person comes up
against a wall, instead of trying to overcome the difficulty, it is
easier to end it with death, this has become endemic to society.
Values towards life and death when confused, society will be confused: a sign that we have not given death sufficient thought. A society
in search for bodily pleasure is not going to be interested in the
aging process, and death.
We don't like to talk about
death, however, religious people are experts on the subject of death, when we avoid the topic we are in dereliction of duty.
Since
the 1960s, in Europe, they noticed an attitude to erase death from the thoughts of the citizens, and
started doing something with programs for awareness of death-- what
followed was the study of death: Thanatology. In Europe this has become a
subject in middle and high schools, and in nearby Japan, since 2002, they have made it a subject in their curriculum. Since we instinctively
try to avoid pain we want to avoid the talk about death, but it is a
way to growth. We become humble and grow in sanctity. When we face life
and examine it closely we aspire to change and grow in virtue. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, psychiatrist, said that death was the last growing experience we humans have.
Elegance is not only a mark in life but also in death. Not
only the way we live is important but also the way we die. Life
has dignity but so also does death and we have to respect it. The way a
person dies will depend greatly on the way they lived. A good life
brings a good death. Nurses who have
worked in hospice often experience this fact. A mature
person faces death with peace, quiet and courage. Catholics express this
as praying for a good death; this needs preparation.
Our
professor would like to see the culture of life spread throughout Korea
and especially among our young people,
in our Sunday school programs, studying about death. This concern for death will
paradoxically help us to appreciate life, and work to bring about a
culture of life. When the color of white is contrasted to
black they both stand out all the more. When we study death we are more
perceptive in the way we see life, and helps us mature. It is not only to eat and live will, but
the time has come to prepare to die well.
Law criminalizing adultery is no longer
unconstitutional in Korea and has received a great deal of comment in
the press and among citizens. A religious sister in a With Bible article, uses
the words of a woman in her forties: "Why marry? Living by oneself
is so pleasant. Marriage is binding, we can love and live alone."
'Neither a father or a husband' is a popular SNS internet novel that
many find good reason to not want to marry, and in the comments show
their enthusiasm and agreement.
Numbers of those living
alone increase daily; living alone is not lonely but peaceful. With
the social network one feels connected with others even though living
alone. The social network has become the refuge for the lonely and a way
to eradicate loneliness. We try to avoid loneliness by buying fun
and love. The efforts to expel the loneliness does not work--only
temporary relief. We spend more time and want more stimulation, and
become slaves.
Sherry Turkel, social psychologist,
says that our expectations from technology are increasing and our
trust on people decreasing. We are using technology more to take
care of ourselves than to help us to relate with others. Technology
has promised us comfort and freedom and instead imprisons us. We
are using the technology to communicate love and friendship but instead
of making us more peaceful we are becoming lonelier and confused.
Greek
mythology has the talkative Echo and self-loving Narcissus whose
inability to make their love a reality ends tragically for both. In the
SNS world we have many Echos and Narcissuses who want to make
themselves known with their selfies and self-praises.
More
than any time in the past we enjoy more freedom but are we more free? Freed from the taboos about sex and bodily pleasures, are we less
lonely? Fast food, booze, games, drama, gambling, lottery, many
temptations but are we more fulfilled? With the advance of technology
we are more comfortable but are we less tired?
Unfortunately,
our quality of life is decreasing, our thinking more superficial, and our memories poorer. In the digital age we have anxiety disorders,
obsessions and depression, that many have to deal with. In Korea we
have large numbers who have no reason to live, more communication but
more alone, more things to enjoy but lonelier.
Love for a Christian
is not something that is instantaneous, but takes a great deal of
effort. God takes the initiative and is leading the couple. Purity is
an important virtue of those marrying. She mentions in conclusion
the large number of married people who are entering chatting rooms. What
should Christians make of this? Aren't our neighbors those that are
the closest to us- family members? Aren't they the ones we want to communicate with at a deep level? She concludes the article with the words: "Do not conform yourselves to
this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may
judge what is God's will, what is good, pleasing and perfect" (Rom.
12:2).
Both Catholic papers brought to the attention of the readers the
Simdo Textile Factory (1967-68) incident which inaugurated the Church's entrance on
the side of the workers in their struggle for justice.
Incheon
Diocesan Labor Sunday, commemorated the day with a symposium recalling the forming of a labor union at the Simdo Textile Factory, and
the struggles required. Workers at the factory considered
themselves dust rags, exploited and oppressed and decided to form a
labor union. Members of the JOC (Young Christian Workers) were leaders in the formation of
the labor union, angering the company, all fired and spied
upon.
Fr. Michael Bransfield, a Maryknoller, was
pastor of the Catholic Church on Kangwha Island who gave them space
and indirectly supported the workers, which angered the company. They
warned him for breaking the law against helping
Communists, and threatened him with arrest.
The bishop of Masan, who later became the
ordinary of Seoul, Cardinal Kim, was the president of the JOC at that
time, representing the Church, he came to the island to speak with the
workers.The bishops responded with a statement that supported the
workers in their efforts. They were successful and all the fired workers were reinstated.
During the symposium the
first topic of discussion was recalling the Simdo Textile incident, and
its meaning; second topic was the situation of laborers and the
future, third was the direction the Church is to walk with the
laborers.
On May 10th many of those who were involved
in the forming of the textile labor union went to the grounds of the old
textile factory, and put up a monument on the grounds of the factory to
remember the incident that opened the eyes of many to the problems of workers in society, and the first step in the Church's involvement in society,speaking in support of the workers.
Is health the most important aspect of our life? A Jesuit priest who
writes on spiritual matters in the Catholic Times begins his column
with this question. Jesus spent a great deal of time in his public life
curing the sick. We need to search for the meaning of these actions of
Jesus. What do we mean by disease and health?
As in the
time of Christ we have many who are sick. When a family member is
sick we pray for them, but not always with the results we want. Why is
this the case? There are those that pray and believe their prayers were
answered, and those who prayed for the sick only to see them die, giving
them great sorrow. How do we understand Jesus' curing of the sick?
We
say health is our most important asset. True, for
when we lose our health we can no longer do what we want, and are dependent on others. We lose much. Consequently, when we watch TV
we are bombarded with advertizing concerned with health:
beauty, live longer, good food, medicines, exercises-- tempting us with many hours and expenditure of energy for well
being.
Is bodily health that important that it takes first
place in all our concerns? Isn't that the reason Jesus cured so
many people? Our columnist doesn't think so. In John's Gospel, Jesus
says the spirit is what gives life, and the body is of no value. But
Jesus did cure the sick, what is the meaning of this? Jesus wants us to
understand that the soul is the most important part of our
existence. We are tempted to think that the body is everything and miss
the place of the spirit in our lives. We are one body with God by means
of the spirit which is the important dimension. When we have the right
understanding and sensitivity of spirit, the body follows.
When we concentrate on the spirit and
are no longer tied to the body, the body regains health. When Jesus cured
the sick he told them it was their faith that cured them. It was not
his power but the belief of the sick person. This is what cured the
person.
The columnist concludes with the thought that
we need to remember this when we reflect on the actions of Jesus.The
body in itself is not what is important. The essence of our human
existence is the soul which acts and loves.
When
we speak in this way it is easy for some to think disease is all our fault, which is not what is being said, and is cruel. An
important message is being delivered and we don't want to miss the
message by a black and white approach to the subject-- seeing only the two opposite extremes of the issue. Our efforts should be directed as followers of Jesus to understand his teaching. Attitudes, have a great deal to do with the kind of health we possess: a principle that few would deny.
We all have rights as human beings.
Christians believe we have been made in the image of God and we have to
respect this in dealing with our brothers and sisters. Article 10 of the
Korean Constitution: 'All citizens are assured of human worth and
dignity and have the right to pursue happiness. It is the duty of the State to
confirm and guarantee the fundamental and inviolable human rights of
individuals'.
The
Peace Weekly columnist in his examination of current affairs asks the
readers what is necessary to respect this dignity of life. He mentions
many of the problems in society, the corruption and the absurdity of
much that we see. This is true of all the parties within the
government, big business, and throughout much of society. Peace is
the fruit of justice and without justice we will have chaos.
In
Korea, seven religious groups have come together to begin a movement to 'live like we should': like human beings, like religious people,
like government officials, like workers, like fathers, like mothers and so
forth. Since over 50 percent of the citizens have a religious
affiliation this would make a difference in society.
A
university professor in his talk on the movement said the principles
behind a new civilization for the 21st century will have a connection
with the social teaching of the Church. He feels we have to move from
the ontological (from my existence) to the relational.
In
Europe modernity was advanced with the emphasis on the individual,
the group or nation, and its strengthening and increase; in Asia the classical approach was the relational connection with others.
This paradigm fights against the cut throat competition, and win and
lose philosophy of capitalism, and works for a just society without
sacrificing the weak.
Doing
what we are called to by our duties in society faithfully, is the
intention of the movement to 'live like we should'. The columnist
hopes the movement will spread and influence society. Religious people
should have a special option for the poor and weak in society. After the
visit of Pope Francis he hopes the motive force of the movement to 'live
like we should', will influence our society with the relational bond
we have with one another.
