Discord in Society

The Korean word for conflict, discord, complications, dissensions, difficulty is made up of two Chinese characters each meaning a type of vine. When they are entangled, one with the another, we have discord and complications, not easily resolved. A college professor who is an authority in the field of social discord gives the readers of the Kyeongyang magazine an understanding of the reasons we see so much discord in society.

Koreans use the word mostly with mental conflicts, psychological difficulties but the writer stresses it is much broader in meaning. When people are interacting with each other both individually or in groups, differences of understanding cause conflict.

Asians have a tendency to work with the internal emotions that arise and work to resolve them with the cultivation of the mind. In the West, coming to a peaceful resolution with the other or others is central. Needed is a concern for both.

The background for these problems may be expressed by differences, needs, perceptions and values.

In the workplace, if another worker enters the workforce at the same time and does the same work and we have a difference in pay, we see this as discrimination and a reason for conflict.

When a person seeks to satisfy their needs we have the possible infringement of another person's possessions or rights and a reason for conflict. "After three days without food, there is no one who will not steal." This Korean proverb shows the lack of what we need can lead to conflict.

In the same situation and circumstances because of our bodily characteristics, experiences, education etc. we perceive reality in different ways. A teacher can say to a student: Why did you act in that way? One student can see it as concern and another as a reprimand.

Values can affect the way we approach a subject.  One may have a value that shows respect more for an older person than for the young. Some would take this as discrimination. These four human qualities do not cause the conflict but are in the background.

Facts and data that are not accepted in the same way may cause conflict. Different understandings, structures, relationships, values, (convictions, religion, philosophies) and our very identity:(our appearance, race etc.) maybe the reason for conflict.

Knowing the reason for the conflict can solve the difficulty. If facts are the problem we work to uncover them in an objective way which will decrease the area of discord. Misunderstandings over the distribution of material goods, fairness and rationality all have to be spelled out clearly and with transparency.

Relationship discord needs the easiness of dialogue to remove the problems. Values and identity have taken a great deal of time to form and finding areas of compromise, difficult. Rather than looking for compromise it is better to recognize the existence of the other, respect and avoid the points of difference, which maybe the easiest way towards a solution.

Prudence Is Not a Popular Virtue

Everything on the face of the earth is beautiful. Even if on the outside it is homely, its existence in itself is beautiful. Prudence opens our eyes.

Even if existence is beautiful not all is beautiful. We have in the world both the beautiful and the homely. At the beginning of spring, it's not out of place to consider what is beautiful and what is unattractive. So begins an article in the Catholic Times by a seminary rector.

Little can compare with the beauty of nature. Marvelous is the beauty when a bud appears from the recently thawed earth. Life is always beautiful. Development that randomly destroys this beauty is not. Those who cut a branch from a flowering plant to place in their knapsack to show to others does not appreciate the beauty of the flower.

From where does the beauty of nature come? Not difficult to answer for it comes from its very being. We like to compare one person with another but all persons are beautiful for beauty comes not from the face or body but from the person's being.

We want to be beautiful, consequently the need to be concerned for interior beauty rather the external beauty and to adorn our lives with beauty. The manner in which we live determines the beauty or unattractiveness of our lives.

We are all different which adds to the beauty. Youth and love he considers of great beauty. Personally, youth without the advantages of wealth who don't envy those with wealth have great beauty and wants to praise them. Beauty is there with those who dream, without dreams we have desolation, loneliness, and unattractiveness.

There is both beauty and ugliness in meeting and departure. As one poet said: how beautiful is the back of the one who knows the time of leave-taking. However, the one who finds the leave-taking difficult when the time demands it is not attractive. 

When we have an exchange of ideas and a meeting of minds, this is a beautiful result of an encounter.  Shouting and attempting to force one's opinion on others is ugly: no matter how attractive, when forced, beauty is lost. No matter how small the issue when we work towards conciliation we are practicing virtue. 

He concludes the articles with the situation in Korea where you have street demonstrations with Korean and American flags appearing, opposing the impeachment of the president. It seems that the Korean flag is not enough so they add the American flag. This leaves the writer with a bitter taste. Too much is as bad as too little and as unattractive. He's sad to see people of faith in these demonstrations. When we try to force our personal beliefs on others no matter how lofty and beautiful the belief, this comes across as ugly to many. We need prudence.

Striving For The Ideal

A priest writing in a pastoral bulletin for clergy mentions an incident on a trip to an island some years ago. A grandmother was carrying a heavy load and would put it down every few steps. He saw it all and in his own mind the thought was present to help the woman but no movement of the feet. A woman behind him ran up ahead to help the grandmother and took one of the packages.

Why seeing the woman's difficulty did he not offer to help? Why didn't the heart and body move? He is always talking about love but those who are less concerned with talk are often more sensitive to the needs of others. He reminds us of the famous words: "the greatest distance in travel is from the head to the heart and the heart to the feet."

Associating for the most part with people with leisure he is not close to the poor consequently the motivation to help is missing.

The famous Russian novelist Tolstoy and his wife Sophia had 13 children. His wife mentions in her writings that he wrote often and eloquently about the love of Jesus and thought a great deal about it but it was not practiced in his life.

Living with high ideals and to feel the love in the heart is important so we read the Scriptures, spiritual books and listen to talks and mistake this for actual acts of love in our lives and think that we are doing much.

He is now up in age, has traveled much but most of what he has learned has stayed in the head. When he sees the acts of others and their concern for others he is moved but making a decision and carrying it out correctly is not easy.

Helping others is important but the way they are helped is also important. Giving of money is not always the best way to help. If a person is not helped to be strong in heart they may be hurt by the help given. He feels that to help the movements that are concerned for the poor may be wiser.

As an individual, he has no reason with his personal history, appearance, or way of life to receive the respect and love of others, his position in the church, his priesthood has made all the difference.  Actually,  not only his priesthood but also all those who have lived the priestly life in a sacrificial way and have moved the hearts of many has influenced the way many see him. To repay what has been received is to live in the manner that they did.

Sewol Tragedy Revisited

On the morning of April 16 of 2014, the Sewol ferry sank on a trip from Inchon to Jeju island. The ferry capsized carrying 476 people, mostly high school students, 304 died. This tragedy has continued to smolder in society and a reason for the unfavorable impression given by president Park to many of the citizens.

The National Assembly with more than two-thirds majority voted to remove Park from office on charges of corruption, misconduct, and negligence. All eight of the Constitutional Court justices supported the actions of the National Assembly to impeach the president. Interestingly the allegations of negligence related to the sinking of the Sewol Ferry were seen as troubling but not a reason for impeachment. 

A series of articles in Bible and Life visited the issue again in a Before and After headline for the articles. One writer questions himself: if his daughter had died in the tragedy what would he have done? The feelings aroused with the sinking even after three years are still smarting. For many, it is the lack of transparency and the feeling that efforts are made to hide the reasons for the tragedy.

Why did the ferry capsize? The ferry was carrying more passengers than allowed and many points of illegality were ignored. Why didn't the passengers escape? Many who were in charge of the ship were temporary workers, with little training but took most of the punishment. It was shown that all of the passengers could have been saved if appropriate measures were taken but the confusion and failure in coordination and misinformation were reasons for the tragedy.

The families of the Sewol victims have been critical voices in movements for democracy in Korea and a reason for the mobilization of the citizens asking for the impeachment of the president. The yellow ribbons have been a sign both of mourning but also remembrance and a desire for social change.

Raising of the Sewol ferry had been delayed but just a few days ago, accomplished. There are many questions that will be answered with the raising of the ferry. There are still 9 victims whose bodies were never found, a difficult situation for the grieving parents. One writer mentions in his article the collapse of a gymnasium just a few months before the Sewol tragedy killing nine, added more pain to the Sewol sinking, and the citizen's desire for a new way of being Korea.

Mission and Vocation

The recent impeachment of our president prompted a Catholic Medical School professor to bring to the attention of the readers of the Catholic Times his thoughts on vocation and mission.

We are persons who are answering a call. This may be an individual call, a societal or one we feel comes  from God. The call confirms our relationship. It's a call to go out into society but each in their own way. When the call is from above we call it a vocation, and when we act we call it a mission. I am always the subject of the call.

In society, vocation is used as occupation, profession, a way of life.  In a religious understanding vocation is a sacred call. Mission in society is seen as our task or duty that we carry out. The individual call, the societal and the call of God may be seen as one.

Traditionally, a person's name contained the expectations of the person. A proper attitude developed from this.Therefore, the old scholars have focused not only on public life but also on personal life as well. The human personality is manifested through work and confirmed in human relationships. We have seen how injustice was revealed recently in our own society, destroying human relationships and harming society. Vocation and mission were missing.

The call to an individual awakens his or her identity of who they are, the call of society shows the importance of social life and the call of God leads to a full life. The call can be seen as a series of calls and the response, one.
   
This may be seen in the Scriptures. God called Adam, Abraham, and Saul. Adam and Eve recognized their sin and worked to take care of the earth and bring new life. Abraham becomes the father of all nations and Saul who persecuted the Christians becomes an apostle proclaiming Jesus as Christ.

If we recall the implications of our calling and mission, we Christians need to consider three things about the work we do. Is the work we are doing one that God has uniquely assigned to each one of us, is  it for the people of the world or giving life to God's truth?  If our lives fit into these three ways, whatever we do is a mission. If you look at work from these three perspectives, everything that a person does is holy. Labor that is engaged in production, work that creates, and activity that enriches life through social participation are all holy.  

This is because it is the fulfillment of the Word of God in direct and indirect ways. We are at the forefront of the task to establish a new way of life. It is a time for each of us to look into our hearts and accept our vocation and mission. God 's call is faint but clear, and our response is weak but sincere.

Living a Happy Married Life

Who are the happily married couples? Many examples of 'lovey-dovey' couples come to mind. So begins an article in the Kyeongyang magazine by a layman who works closely with married couples in the Seoul Diocese.

Often we are under the illusion that what is needed is to maintain a passionate and romantic relationship. He quotes the world famous John Gottman known for his work on marital stability. He considers two traits that make for a happy marriage.

The first requisite is to be a sincere friend to your spouse. What image arises when the word friend is heard? An easy, comfortable, strong, without reservation relationship, is it not?

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds; For he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself" (Sirach 6:14-17).

The second requisite is when you fight, do it wisely. Not to fight is not possible, the only way not to fight  between two equals is not to marry. Since we are all different in makeup and living closely together to have conflict is only natural. When we hear that a couple has never fought usually it's because one of the spouses doesn't have the mental freedom to do so.

He lists ten things that should be addressed:

1) Don't let the problems amass.
2) Don't touch each other's sore spots.
3) Don't attack the other's physical complexes.
4) Call a time out when one is overly agitated.
5) Stay away from abusive language.
6) Don't compare with others, don't touch the other's self-respect.
7) Don't fight in front of the children.
8) No violence.
9) Never bring up the word divorce.
10) Put yourself in the spouse's shoes.

When there is no conflict the relationship is dead. When we have areas of conflict the relationship is alive. When the couple fights in a wise manner the relationship can become stronger. "A wife does not belong to herself but to her husband; equally, a husband does not belong to himself but to his wife" (1 Cor. 7: 4).

The article concludes with a reminder that a couples' goal is not happiness but oneness. When my spouse is happy I am happy when sad I am sad. Until we are separated in death we are not alone. Isn't this a reason for the happiness couples should have. Aren't we too quick to forget this?

Harmony Between Speed and Slowness

Harmony between speed and slowness is the topic of an article in the Catholic Times by a seminary rector. Korean society is conscious of the attraction they have for speed. The old Latin axiom 'Festina Lente' (Make haste slowly) is not admired by society. Many are the articles that we see on the subject not only in the Catholic press.

He tells his readers that speed is part of their DNA. Overnight we see changes. A street traveled and familiar, in a month's time it's difficult to find. One enterprise that does not fail is the home delivery service. We want our deliveries to get there quickly.

He mentions when he goes overseas how frustrated he is with the pace of society. Internet news is slow, the lines at the banks are slow. Even presently as he writes he is conscious of the speed of his writing. He's Korean after all.

One can't say that speed is necessarily good or bad for both have their place in our lives. Korea is a leader in both the information technology and in mobile services showing the value of speed but we also see the mistakes and damage done with a desire for speed and taking shortcuts both in one's personal world and in business.

Korea became a financial world leader in a short period of time but this was not done without cost. Workers were sacrificed and we had many unreliable results of work. You can get drunk quickly on a boilermaker with 'one shot', however, what about health and family? The answer doesn't come easily. We can get to a destination in a car quickly but at the risk of life. Why have we been so enamored with speed?

Speed fits the world of sports. It is not something we need in our daily lives. No reason to have qualms of conscience on the matter. Improvisation and adaptability are all good but that is not all of life. In the classroom, he has to correct the students at times for cheating for they are missing the opportunity to learn and to memorize.

The social community is formed by certain essential steps. This, however, leaves us with a feeling of something missing. We need to follow the path of virtue. It's not a first class society or a top notch society but a grace-filled society that we desire: where no one feels left out, everyone a neighbor. Necessary is the personality change of those who only think of themselves. They need to be formed to have concern for others. All the rest will fall into place.

We don't want to praise slowness unconditionally. When there is no need for slowness, slowness for its own sake when others are involved is not a virtuous act. When we have harmony and togetherness the problems faced will be solved. Speed and dependability working together will have good results. Nimbleness and prudence working together will always bring a better solution.