In our present culture, we are considered valuable by what we do. We search for what will make us more employable which makes for a stressful growing up period. Korea is a showcase for this thinking. Our worth in our society is what we do. As Catholics, we know that a Saint is not considered one because of what he or she did but in the way they did it.
We are valuable because of who we are and not by what we do. When we are what we are supposed to be we will do what is needed. St. Catherine of Siena said it beautifully: "Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire."
Function is all important in much of the world culture and sadly has infected all of our thinking and doing. In the Scriptures, the story of Martha and Mary is a good example of a Christian's understanding of the dilemma that is faced in the lives of many.
A College professor writing in a diocesan bulletin gives us a meditation on the conflict that parents face in educating children. There are two kinds of parents. One teaches the children what they should do and the other the way they should do it.There is wisdom in both approaches.
Both are important the what and the how. The professor stresses the order is the most important. The one you put first will decide the way the child will live.
When you grow up what do you want to be? This is asking the child to look only at one area and we have the push from behind. When you grow up what kind of person do you want to be? With this kind of question, you are showing the child that he is not alone in the world.
When you ask what do you want to be the child will continue to compare with others, be in competition, and be stressed. Whether he achieves it or not will be the sign of his or her success or failure.
What kind of person do you want to be has a different result. The child will examine his life and find joy and satisfaction in the search towards the milestone he has set. God is more interested in how we do something rather than the what we do.
Also, the child who understands this will find satisfaction in whatever they do. When the what is put in second place and the how in first place, they will be more interested in being all that God wants them to be.
A priest writes an article in With Bible magazine, on seeing the body and sex in a new way. He begins the article with insights he gained from watching a popular TV show on the romantic life of the young. For many of the young romance means the sexual embrace, a very natural expression of love.
Talking about sex was taboo, consequently little was said about the meaning and value of sexuality. However, the change to openness has not been all positive but often cheapened and made light of sexuality. As one of the entertainers said it is a game. The increase of abortions and unmarried mothers is a result.
With the economic improvement of society, we had the movement towards birth control: " Boy or girl, two only and raise them well" or "A daughter well raised is worth 10 sons." These and similar slogans have weakened the understanding of sex: the unity of the spouses and raising of children. Another influence was the mass media.
In Hollywood movies and foreign dramas, the meeting of male and female in short order are in bed together. This message was seen with disapproval by the elders but with the repetition of this type of meeting of the sexes, it was taken for granted. This is the way people live and without criticism, was accepted as a cultural norm, spreading quickly in society. "In this area, society and the mass media most of the time provide depersonalized, recreational and often pessimistic information." This was the opinion of the Pontifical Council for the Family (1995).
Twenty years later we see this situation in Korea. We have been overcome with the popular culture and now we are exporters to the rest of the world.
Pope Paul VI in Humanae Vitae #22:
"We take this opportunity to address those who are engaged in education and all those whose right and duty it is to provide for the common good of human society. We would call their attention to the need to create an atmosphere favorable to the growth of chastity so that true liberty may prevail over license and the norms of the moral law may be fully safeguarded.
Everything therefore in the modern means of social communication which arouses men's baser passions and encourages low moral standards, as well as every obscenity in the written word and every form of indecency on the stage and screen, should be condemned publicly and unanimously by all those who have at heart the advance of civilization and the safeguarding of the outstanding values of the human spirit. It is quite absurd to defend this kind of depravity in the name of art or culture or by pleading the liberty which may be allowed in this field by the public authorities."
What do parents need to do to block this influence from the mass media? First of all, it requires an interest on the part of parents. Society does not make this easy because of the need for both parents to work to educate the children. Nowadays with the smartphone, the children are accustomed to enjoying the new way of being part of the world. The structure of society needs to be changed.
Parents have not been educated as children in the area of sexuality which makes it difficult for parents to know what to do. They need to know what the children have been exposed to and spend time with them explaining the meaning of sexuality if not the mass media will be their teachers. The church also needs to been involved and continue speaking about the Christian meaning of sex and its value in our life.
A priest writing for a pastoral bulletin recalls a question he received from a schoolmate in the 5th year of elementary school: "I go to church every Sunday... how do we believe in a God we can't see?"
He was perplexed on how to answer but did respond: "We don't believe with our eyes but with our hearts."
The question was concerned with the physical his answer was spiritual.
After the Resurrection hearing the news Thomas said: "Until I have seen in his hands the print of the nails...and my hand in his side, I will not believe" (Jn. 20:25). These are the words of a man who wanted to die with Jesus when Jesus decided to go to Jerusalem. He showed great courage and faith. A desire to want to resolve one's doubts is a good thing. Doubt is often a way to a strong faith and maturity. A society filled with lies makes this necessary.
In a scientific society, doubt is not allowed, everything needs to be tested and proved. 2+2=4 type of truth is desired: clarity and preciseness. Objective truth, is what we want, when not accepted makes you a fool. This is what is demanded in the society in which we live, religious faith is difficult to accept.
We can always choose not to believe. We can see the same thing and choose to believe or not believe. Truth is not always objective but depends on the subjective attitude of the one seeing. Love, justice, truth, conscience and the like are related to the transcendent which depends less on our understanding than the way one has lived and one's experiences in life.
In the Gospel of Luke, we have the journey to Emmaus where two disciples met Jesus on the road and didn't recognize him. He explained the words of the Scripture and when they arrived at their house they invited him in for the meal. During the meal Jesus at the table took the bread, said a blessing, broke it and gave each a piece, their eyes were opened and they recognized him and he vanished. Faith comes from hearing but is deepened by experience.
Life is made up not only of different views, and knowledge but experiences. A person from the tropics can hear what we have to say about snow but it is not like experiencing snow. We can meet a person thru a friend but it is not like having the two meet and talk together.
The words of a novelist ring true: "No one has seen God. However, those who love much are able to accept God." Since God is love, without love we are unable to receive him. Those who imitate this love will see God.
"Happy are those with a pure heart for they shall see God" (Matt 5:8).
Since the number of divorces continue to climb, and the demands of family are life long and getting more complicated we have the glorification of the single life and cohabitation. Living alone, the money and time can be spent as one pleases, sounds good does it not? Cohabitation brings no legal responsibility and easy to leave when one wants freedom. Seems like a suitable alternative to marriage, right?
However, 99% of the world marry. Why do they choose such a difficult path? There was a time in the west when skepticism was in vogue about the structure of marriage but for the last 25 years many studies have shown that the benefits of marriage are much greater than the burdens. The head of a Happiness Research Center writes his response in an article in Bible & Life magazine.
He mentions how in studies that have been made with those with same age, education and work place those who are married are from 10 to 40 percent better off in the money they make in comparison to those who are single, cohabiting or divorced, This is true in 14 countries of the OECD.
They are also healthier and live longer than those who remain single, cohabit or are divorced.They live about 10 years longer and look younger. One of the scholars who have studied the question attributes the living longer of the men to the scolding of the wife on smoking, drinking, computer use and concern over the health of the husband. This is a reason for the longevity of the married men compared to the single according to the researcher.
The benefits for the women is also great. In Japan and the Netherlands the longevity of the married is greater. In the developed countries the single, cohabiting and divorced are the victims of robbery, rape, fraud, sexual harassment at a far higher rate than the married.
Another researcher in the study of sexuality found that those who were married had a greater level of sexual satisfaction than the single and those cohabiting. This came as a surprise to the researchers. The common understanding was that the married who had only one mate would get bored with the same person but the study showed something else.
The reason was that in reality one feels more at ease and knows what to expect and has greater trust with deeper bodily and mental interaction. Confidence, security, responsibility, maturity and in all the qualities that can be measured, the married have a higher rating then the unmarried and those cohabiting. They also rate lower in depression, and suicides: the divorced are the highest, followed by the single and those cohabiting.
Since these are the benefits of married life couples need to overcome all the obstacles that arise to strengthen the marriage bond by getting help and using all the means available to overcome the conflicts that will arise in marriages. Marriage is a premium and needs the same amount of care as health and economics, and the happiness will increase.
New words continue to be coined and used. Korea imports a lot of new
words from the west and a columnist in the Peace Weekly introduces us
to the word YOLO, an acronym used by the young: "You Only Live Once."
The
situation being what it is in Korea these days,very similar to other
parts of the world, worrying about the future is considered counter
productive and the need to find happiness here and now. It can be used
as motivation for reckless behavior but also for personal development.
'We
only live once so makes the most of it ' vs "Many little pickles
makes a mickle" (many little things add up to a lot)-- The light even
shines in a mouse hole-- The writer asks her readers were do they stand?
Do they limit themselves to the happiness of each day or prepare for
the future by accepting the difficulties of the present?
YOLO
is popular in Korea and has become the life style of many young people.
Last year in September YOLO was added to the Oxford Dictionary as a
new word. Rarely used by the older generation it has great appeal to
the young. The way the price of commodities are increasing, young people
don't have the dreams of their elders and easily accept YOLO
thinking. Living for the day with their interests, personal development
and present happiness.
In the Seoul diocese
on April 7th, 500 young people with the Cardinal took time to make the
Stations of the Cross for over two hours. The cardinal invited the young
people to prepare to walk the pilgrimage road that lays ahead. "You
will be facing many unimaginable situations in life but you never should
doubt the mercy of God that is always there." And added: "Our Blessed
Mother will always be accompanying you on the journey."
YOLO is the word that was in the background and is always there to tempt the
young people in a life style not suited for a follower of Jesus. The
situation in which they live has taken their dreams away.
No
matter the situation one should not give in to anger, frustration and
helplessness but a need to have hope and love. When one believes someone is accompanying them on the road that they are taking, they
will gain strength.
Easter 2017 was the third anniversary of the sinking of the Sewol Ferry
and the connection brought many thoughts to mind. The raising of the ship has alleviated some pain associated
with the tragedy. Efforts continue in finding the meaning to society from the sinking.
Editorials
in the Catholic Weeklies and magazine articles return to the sinking and
the meaning it has for Korean society. Sections of society, however,
find the continuing talk about the tragedy repulsive and want it to
stop: enough is enough. Contemplating the same event we have differences
of opinion and yet it is necessary to determine for Catholics how much is based on who we are as Christians.
One
editorial mentions the words of Pope Francis that the Church needs to
speak out when we have injustices in society.We are moving from one way
of living to another; labor pains accompany us as Christians and we need
to decide what our responses will be.
Countless
rumors are associated with the sinking and many questions remain which the
families of the victims and many in society want answered. Lack of
transparency and suspicion that a coverup has been at work has angered
many in society.
The families of the victims and those who
have not yet recovered the bodies of their loved ones are only
searching for the truth and do not want revenge. Those who want to see
vengeance are asked to turn it over to God.
The
Ferry sank in the muddy waters filled with greed and corruption. The
weak are still the food for the strong and the strong have their way
in society. No need to ask who are at fault for we are all in some
way involved in the disaster. Material goods and their acquisition at any price is
this not the reason for the catastrophe? This is not the way society should go.
Have we changed the direction of our lives after the tragedy?
A
member of the bereaved families asked: "Why has God given us this
agony in losing our loved ones?" Silence is not always an answer to agony. We are caught in the trap of our own greed and are distant from God, and fail to understand how we are all involved.
That is why those who have died should continue to remain in our thinking. Remembrance is Resurrection.
Resurrection is a new experience a new meeting with the one who died and rose again from the dead and who remains with us.
During this Easter Season we pray for the victims of the tragedy the families
and those who are still looking for the bodies of their loved ones and we
pray that the anger and questions that followed from the tragedy will
in the near future be laid to rest.
A college professor in a diocesan bulletin writes about a eureka moment. His digital watch stopped and was in a watch repair shop thinking it was the battery that was a problem and wanted it replaced. The store was filled with customers so while waiting, paged thru a magazine on the counter with examples of watches.
One of the watches that caught his attention had no second or minute hand. A strange type of watch with only an hour hand. At first, he thought it was a stop watch, but no it was clearly a wrist watch.
Now he was open to creativity in the making of watches but what good was a watch with only an hour hand? It didn't make much sense to him. How does one measure time with only the hour hand?
Beside the picture of the watch, he saw an explanation of the watch and began to nod his head in approval of what he read. The reason for the watch was to get a general idea of time: seeing the position of the hour hand you would guess about the minutes.The watch was a movement against becoming a slave to time instead of its master.
Those who live needing to know the exact minute and second of their day should possess this watch. Those obsessed with exactitude need this kind of watch. They will be blessed with an abundance of leisure time. The watch does not measure time but imagines time. The habit we have grown to accept is to measure how much time we have before the end of some work, at what hour and minute we have to meet someone, often shackles us.
With this watch, we use the imagination to have a rough idea of when a certain person will come. We can meet at sunset or when the western sky is in color. This is not wasting time but a way of finding time that we have lost because of the way we have planned our days.
We have become the slaves of time, fear to lose it, and spend time wasting it. We have just so much time on this earth and spend too much of it with technological gimmicks and forget what is important.
