Listening With Ears of the Heart

A pastor in the Catholic Times writes in the Eyes of the Believer column on the Art of Listening. There are many different ways people meet and talk. Some understand the other well with an attitude of faithful listening leading to a deeper and richer level of conversation. Others listen to what they want to hear rather than to what the other person is saying. 

 

Selective listening because of confirmation bias may fail to understand the intention of the speaker or distort what is being conveyed. Some people don't listen at all and show a rude attitude. The body is in the same space as the person speaking, but the mind and spirit are not—out-of-the-body experiences. When a priest gives a sermon during Mass, there are those whose body is in the church but the mind is somewhere else. Could this situation arise because the priest is not good at preaching? Or is it because believers are not good listeners? 

 

The theme of this year's Communication Sunday message was 'Listen with the ear of the heart'. Listening involves more than simply the sense of hearing. True listening is a foundation of genuine relationships, and foundational to the relationship between God and humanity. In many relationships, however, true communication is lacking, as dialogues end up as competing monologues, where the two sides refuse to listen to one another. This is evident nowadays even in public life, where people often end up "talking past" one another.

     

In today's social network era, there are 'eavesdropping, spying, and using others for one's own gain. We have a lot of monologues, and conversations, but no communication, talking but not listening. For example, he stressed the need to listen to the migrants if we are to overcome prejudice and alleviate our stubbornness of heart. It was also noted that this refusal to listen can often turn into an attack on others, as humans tend to "close their ears" by running away from uncomfortable relationships, turning their backs on them. 

 

The Pope's discourse mentions the importance of listening at the level of faith. As you can see from the meaning of 'Shema Israel' in Deuteronomy of the Old Testament, which means 'Listen, Israel!', the first thing the people of Israel should do is to listen to God’s word. Coming to the New Testament, the apostle Paul also affirms that "faith comes from hearing" (Romans 10:17). Faith begins by hearing the word of God. Prayer is also a time to listen to God before praying to Him. Faith begins with acknowledging God's initiative and responding to His Word. In the story of Mary and Martha, Mary did the better thing because she listened to Jesus. 

 

The Pope insists that listening is the most important thing in pastoral activity. He describes listening as 'the apostolate of the hearing ear'. It is called "the first act of charity" because, to listen to people, you have to be willing to give part of your time. Yes, The most important act of love of the pastoral worker is realized by listening to the believers by taking time with them and accepting their concerns, anguish, pain, and wounds, living the role of 'wounded healers'. 

 

If you pay attention and listen carefully when someone comes to you and discusses their concerns, we will grow in sympathy for others and also in wisdom with the help of the Holy Spirit always present.

 

Listening is important for all of us. If we listen to another person's words with the ears of the heart our conversation will be a meeting of hearts. 

 

It is said that 'the power to change the world lies in listening, not eloquence'. It should be borne in mind that mutual listening between brothers and sisters is very important for the necessary communion in walking together towards the kingdom of God.

Power of Love

 

"In many parts of the world, there is a need for paths of peace to heal open wounds. There is also a need for peacemakers, men and women prepared to work boldly and creatively to initiate processes of healing and renewed encounter." (Pope Francis: Fratelli Tutti # 225) 

In his weekly column Light of the World of the Catholic Times a priest begins with the above quote.

 

Amid COVID-19—"Living is no big thing. It's living courageously." As a result of the direct hit of Corona 19, companies that were doing well went bankrupt, overnight workers lost their jobs, were locked up in the house causing depression, and many people were seriously sick or died. 

 

What did we experience and learn in that dark tunnel? Wear a mask? Working non-face-to-face, quarantine, being alone? But what if that was all we learned? Hopefully, I've become a kinder person, my love for my family or neighbor has grown more affectionate, and my prayers have become more diligent. It is said that COVID-19 has brought a "new normal" (a new standard) into society and culture. But are we and society changing for the better?

 

What is a good change? A change for the better. It is an expression that can be interpreted in many ways, but the most important element is 'love'. Sharing the sorrow of a friend, showing concern for others, caring for others, and sharing with each other are expressions of love, the changing of society for the better. As people grow, we also need to change for the better. It is in this context that we deepen our faith, become sanctified and become deeply united with Christ. 

 

「A Brief Social Doctrine」 also mentions good changes. Those who realize God's love and become assimilated with Christ experience an inner transformation (44), realizing the deep mystery of life, and strive to change society for the better (4). They become catalysts for this (52). It is said that this kind of change is essential at all times, and what is needed for this is 'mutual love' (134). 

 

Loving, hugging, and having courage— I often hear stories of people who have been through the hardships of COVID-19. Some people overcame it well, but sadly, some people have ended their lives or their lives have been ruined. Our prayers and attention are needed. But if you endured, what was the driving force that sustained you? There may be factors such as individual competence and will, but wouldn't it be friends, family, and community? If we work together, there is nothing we can't do, and just as the core of our faith is 'the Lord is with us', wouldn't that love help us to overcome the lonely and difficult times?

 

Although COVID-19 is over and the world continues to change, it's mutual love that changes us and society for the better and lifts us up after falling. You're right. It would be a wonderful world if we could live together helping each other with our strength and concern, loving each other.

 

 "The transformation of the world is a fundamental requirement of our time also. To this need the Church's social Magisterium intends to offer the responses called for by the signs of the times, pointing above all to the mutual love between human beings, in the sight of God, as the most powerful instrument of change, on the personal and social levels" (#55).

'Viriditas' and the Kingdom of Heaven

 Last week we celebrated the Feast of Pentecost the birth of the Church, entering again the Ordinary Time of the Liturgical Cycle: the season in which Christ, the Lamb of God, walks among us desiring to transform our lives. The church was born with the giving of the Holy Spirit; Christians try to live moved by the inspirations of the Spirit. 

Those who find it difficult to believe the Christian story see it only as delusional, expressed in many ways by unbelievers in the world's literature: pie in the sky thinking or more condemnatory seeing it as an opiate— taking our eyes off this world's reality. However, what they understand as delusional is in fact more delusional once they understand that the mature Christian not only believes in life after death but also that he is in God's Kingdom now while here on earth. No, the church is not the Kingdom but a tool of God to help in establishing the Kingdom. It is already here among us but not fully. Christians know only too well that weeds are always present within the church.

One of the great theologians of the past Origin (185 – c. 253) has left us the following words which are the second reading of the Breviary on the Feast of Christ the King.  

"The kingdom of God, in the words of our Lord and Savior, does not come for all to see; nor shall they say: Behold, here it is, or behold, there it is; but the kingdom of God is within us, for the word of God is very near, in our mouth and in our heart. Thus it is clear that he who prays for the coming of God’s kingdom prays rightly to have it within himself, that there it might grow and bear fruit and become perfect. For God reigns in each of his holy ones. Anyone holy obeys the spiritual laws of God, who dwells in him as in a well-ordered city. The Father is present in the perfect soul, and with him, Christ reigns, according to the words: We shall come to him and make our home with him."

These words are what Catholic try to live as disciples bearing fruit, always hoping to be helped with God's grace.

Another theologian who lived many years ago St. Hildegard (1098-1179) one of the four-woman doctors of spirituality used the word 'viriditas' to describe God's spiritual and physical life force. The word is considered to be the union of the two Latin words Green and Truth. 

The symbolism of green is enormous signifying life, birth, renewal, vigor, freshness, hope, vitality, and creativity. Greenness is the creative power of life, seen all around us and nurturing both our bodies and souls.

The normal liturgical color for Ordinary Time is green. Green vestments are associated with the time after Pentecost, the period in which the Church founded by the risen Christ and enlivened by the Holy Spirit began to grow and spread. 

The New Testament Scriptures speak often about the Kingdom of Heaven or God's Kingdom, both the same. However often and by many, the understanding that we are now in God's Kingdom is not easily understood especially for those dealing with serious problems and yet it should be a foundational belief of Christians. Saint Catherine of Siena said: All the way to heaven is heaven. Jesus is the Way and where Jesus is there is also the kingdom.

Consequently, Christians  desire that all see the greenness of life and want all to reap the love, joy, and peace that it brings. The Kingdom is here now but not fully and we need to participate in its growth.

How to Deal with Appearance-ism (Lookism)?

 

In Bible and Life magazine a priest working on pastoral and human rights issues introduces the readers to the problems associated with evangelization in the present world of 'Appearance-ism'.

In Korea for some years, the composite word 'face/first' has first been used to designate a person with a handsome and beautiful face. The writer recently during a retreat heard the word addressed to him. It was welcomed even though he doesn't believe it to be the reality but would like it to be so even though for him it is of no great importance.

However in the competitive society in which we live this reality has great meaning. In the world of appearances, the best specs (specification) is a beautiful face. A teacher is quoted as saying: if one doesn't have a beautiful face you have to study and if you don't study you have to have a beautiful face. These are the golden words of this generation. Efforts to spend time and money to undergo plastic surgery are not different from the efforts made to study. Korea is not only a strong country for education but a reason why it is a plastic surgery powerhouse.

A world where looks are of great value is not limited only to the face. Wealth, social status, relationships, credit rating, everything that can be seen externally is more important than what is hidden inside. What can be seen and touched are more important than love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and temperance (Gal. 5:22). So rather than looking inside and changing, people only look at the outside. Is this not why people spend so much time on their appearance? 

In this kind of world, honesty and faithfulness have no place to stand. It's a make-believe life, a lack of reality, just full of images like the white-washed tombs (Matt. 23:27) a life full of lies.

The problem is this world of 'Appearance-ism', is one with the information world and has gone beyond the individual and entered all aspects of society.

Information is generally spread by the mass media, SNS, etc. by the written word or video; here also we have the 'Appearance-ism' problem arising. Suggestive, sensationalistic stories and pictures, not too concerned about the truth: only externals of the situation that become embedded in the heads of the hearers and viewers. 

Recently a composite word formed from the word journalist and trash (기레기) to signify that the world is being overcome with false news from the mass media is often heard.

Preaching the gospel of Jesus in such a world can be done by confronting superficiality. However, the gospel that reveals the precious work of the kingdom of God must be proclaimed as reality, not as an image, and must be proven by life and not appearances. Only then can the world understand.

What the church needs to hear is not the church is beautiful but it is different. In the past, many have gone to the cathedral in Seoul not because of the beauty of the location and church but because of the memories of the tear gas and the police clubs that persons were seeking refuge from. Appearance cannot hide the essence, and words cannot surpass life. This has to be shown in our lives.

Lantern of the East

In the Catholic Times, a Research Fellow at the Catholic Asian Peace Research Institute reflects on the Movie East of Eden from many years ago.

 

 'East of Eden' is an adaptation of the novel by American author John Steinbeck. It was also the first film starring the famous James Dean. It was created by comparing the human desire to be loved to Cain and Abel in Genesis. In the movie, the older brother monopolizes his father's love, and the younger brother feels resentment towards his father for not appreciating him. However, the father and the son later forgive each other and reconcile. In Genesis, the older brother Cain is the sinner, but in the movie, it's the younger brother who sins. 

 

At one time, the writer wondered why the title of the movie was 'East of Eden'. And while reading the Bible, he realized that "Cain went out from the presence of the Lord and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden" (Genesis 4:16), and found that 'East of Eden' symbolically represents the area where the sinners lived. 

 

 'Garden of Eden' and 'East of Eden'. Although the difference between the words is small, you can see that the meaning is very different. If the 'Garden of Eden' is like heaven where God was the protector, the 'East of Eden' is the place where sinners who kick off God's protection are sent to live.

 

We are quite familiar with the word 'East'. Indian poet Tagore wrote a poem titled 'Lantern of the East' for Korea, which was drowning in the gloom under Japanese colonial rule. [The lines of the quatrain: "In the golden age of Asia, Korea was one of its lamp bearers, And that lamp is waiting to be lit once again, For the illumination of the East.]

 

As such, our regional location, the 'East' of Asia, contains a positive and hopeful message.

 

However, the current situation is very worrisome. With the launch of a new government, the great powers are calling on us to stand on one side. The Korean government is also formulating a new diplomatic strategy, but it doesn't seem to be what the great powers want. 

 

It is demanding a choice not only in the field of military and security but also in the field of economics. The global village that was united in the name of 'globalization' is now colliding with the concept of 'new security'. The problem is that the more you choose one, the greater the dissatisfaction with the other. We earnestly hope that we will deal with this moment wisely and become a "lamp of the East" rather than an "East of Eden".

 

Wisdom of Old Age

Old age— What meaning is there in getting old! Just thinking on the subject makes some people feel miserable, and gives pain. A pastor writes in a diocesan bulletin about his ideas on the subject.

When one  entertains thoughts of this knd  they are probably envying the young and in the process annoying themselves or everything new is something to be against and everything old needs to be unconditionally praised— turning the person into a narrow-minded, stubborn old fogey.

These old people always have thoughts and words of the past, always uncomfortable and jealous of the young.

He quotes Herman Hesse who was a follower of Carl Jung. "Old age does not only mean weakness, deterioration, termination. Old age just like any other period of life has its attractive values, its wisdom, and sadness. I don't believe it's a time without value." So what is the value of old age?

The first is to accept the fact that our body and mental faculties are weakened and to focus on our inner life.

Arriving at old age they have experienced a variety of desires, failures, and successes in their work. Joy and pain were mixed up in their lives. They have grown in wisdom. Only those with wisdom see life deeply and do not lose their peace of mind facing the uncertainty of life.

Secondly, the past and the present are connected. It is a time to mediate the past and present, and to make use of the various cultures and traditions.

It is a task that a person who has not experienced old age can never do. And the old person has lived in the past and present. Therefore they know both periods and are a link between them.

Thirdly old age is the last stage of life. The finishing stage.   

Those who see death as destruction and extinction will be seen as pitiable in old age. But death is not extinction but the completeness of life; for a Christian the beginning of a new life. Consequently old age is the time of harvest.

We have the four seasons: spring, summer, fall, and winter. They all have their value and beauty and for the farmer, each has its special task. Spring is planting the seed, summer nurturing and cultivating the plant, fall is harvesting, and winter is a time to recuperate for the future. When the process does not end up with the harvest all effort and sweat lose meaning. Old age is the time of putting the finishing touches on our earthly life.

Old age experienced living the past and present and is now blessed with the wisdom to see the future. The Latin word for wisdom is 'Sapientia' which comes from the Latin verb 'sapere' to taste.

A person who is at peace with themselves is a person who leaves a good taste with the people he meets. Such a person is thankful for their lives and lives in harmony with others.
 
The 'taste' of peace, freedom, serenity, and joy flows from such a person.

Listening Is Difficult

We often hear the phrase knowing fosters love, love allows us to know. What comes first? Is it love or knowledge? In the Kyeongyang magazine a member of a  pastoral research institute gives the readers some  thoughts on what is expected during this time of listening in preparation for the Synod on Synodality.

In the writers experience it is not a matter of what comes first but it's determined by the situation and person. One loves, it seems, as much as one knows.  One may lose hope after knowing, not grow in love, but you will grow in understanding.

According to the writer it seems that loving allows you to know, more than knowing allows you to love. Loving another person— liking another—one desires to know  more about the person. Since you are already one with the person your efforts to know would not be a burden and you overcome the uncertainty that arises easily.

Listening seems to be an easy task but it requires heroic virtue. Jesus often said those who have ears and  eyes, he saw them as one, without an open heart they will not function correctly. When our hearts are filled with other thoughts our listening decreases and our vision is limited. If we recall those who walk while looking at their smart phones we will understand. 

When we are set in our ways we will have ears only for confirmation bias. When we hate or dislike, it is difficult to hear or see. Only when our hearts are soft and full of mercy will our eyes and ears do their job.

We  know that doing something with another at the same time and place, the experience is different. The situation may be  similar but it is not the same. Consequently each person's life is unique.We can't divide it into superior or inferior. Because a person doesn't speak of their inner spiritual life doesn't mean  it doesn't exist. The difference is mostly about those who elegantly express their inner life and those who do it unskillfully.

The writer has attended 10 different listening sessions and all expressed themselves differently but it all came from a deep faith life. All the believers have different degrees of faith life but the capability of comprehending is equal.

In the eyes of God we are all equal but live in a world that is unequal. Consequently we differentiate ourselves into the different social classes in which society places  us—upper class down to the poor. Even within the Church, the People of God, we have differentiated levels. It is said that one of the expressions of difference that emerges from such a culture is in hearing. To say we listen often in a vertical relationship and not a horizontal one is quite charitable.

In such a society, listening is inevitably a formality. It is a task that requires deliberate effort, not waiting for it to happen on its own. Effort must continually be made to hear that will develop into listening. Since  we live in a class society the coming together in some way of the upper and lower classes requires first effort on the upper classes to listen. It is natural that in the beginning stage many uncomfortable and harsh words will be exchanged causing the participants to close their ears but this has to be experienced and overcome for the group to come to a point of listening and dialog. 

For believers we need to have trust in the Holy Spirit that we will hear what we need to in this time in which we live.