ASMR Helps In Life

In the 'We Are All One' column of the Catholic Times a professor introduces us to the ASMR—autonomous sensory meridian response; a phrase to describe a tingling or goosebumps sensation in response to certain audio or visual stimuli.

The professor reflects on what comes to mind when life comes to an end. When the flow of time stops he surmises that the most impressive scenes and sounds of our lives will come to mind. And at the same time, the events, places and people, relationships may appear and disappear in the background.

Perhaps we are trying to love our present life more, hoping that that moment will be a final consolation rather than a painful moment.

Sometimes he thinks of sounds that warm his heart like ASMR (sounds that provide psychological stability).

As a child, while in bed before sleep, he heard his parents putting cold rice and side dishes together and hearing them rubbing the rice with a spoon, putting rice in their mouths, and chatting while eating. It sounded so beautiful to him. Even though he was dozing, it was a time when an unknown sense of peace came over him. This sound is the archetypal ASMR he remembers and is also the sound he wants to hear in the last moments of life.

In the neighborhood where he lived as a child, various stores, such as a black bean noodle restaurant, a snack bar, a cosmetics retailer, a tailor shop, and a bicycle shop, were arranged in an ‘ㄴ’ shape along the main street, with a yard and a communal water supply in the middle. In addition, the houses were attached to the right in an ‘ㄱ’ shape, so the overall structure was a ‘ㅁ’ shape with shops and houses connected.

In those days, there were many children in each household, so the yard was always overflowing with children, and people took turns babysitting other families' children and often shared food with each other. 

When you go to a 'jjajangmyeon' restaurant early in the morning, you watch in amazement as the man puts dough into the machine and pulls out the noodles. When you go to a cosmetics store (which also sells imported products), the woman applies cream to your sore hands and mixes cocoa or skim milk powder with warm water. The bike guy sometimes took him around here and there and showed him a little bit of a wider world.

The scene at the time is similar to the works of photographer Kim Ki-chan (1938-2005), who had been capturing images of alleys, especially children in alleys (children who were poor but already living in heaven). 

These are memories and scenes he wants to see in the last moments of life.

Among those who have attempted suicide, some say that if they had had even a single happy picture or loving video engraved in their minds, they would not have gone to such extremes. Therefore, suicide attempters emphasize that basic suicide prevention is possible only when young children are not exposed to violence, receive love, recognition, and warm care, and can grow up properly.

It is also said that for young lives to grow well, the country, society, and community must prioritize helping young parents, who are direct caregivers. That's why young parents say that they should leave their children with a lot of positive ASMR images that can serve as a protective factor no matter what adversity they face as they grow up and come to the end of their lives. 

Working to Realize a Dream

The principal of a school for Korean Students in New Malden, London, England is trying in her own way to bridge the gap between the North and South. The school was established in 2016 mostly by North Koreans. Although many of the parents are from North Korea the students play, learn, and grow together regardless of where they came from, they are all Koreans. The Catholic Times in the North/South Reconciliation column gives the readers the principal's dreams for the school.

The neighbors communicate in chat rooms. There are 70 people tied up in an alley with about 80 houses, so almost all of them are communicating with each other. 

It happened in spring of 2020 when everyone was locked up at home due to COVID-19. It started with a young mother who handed out a message door to door asking: "If you are  isolated and elderly or  need help, let's take care of each other." Since neighbors are connected, there are many good things. They do grocery shopping for neighbors who are not able to move, exchange items that they don't use, and exchange necessary information and donate.

The principal's  husband sent a message to the food bank in the winter of the first year. Items piled up in front of the house. It was full of Christmas gifts for children, canned food and cereal. Some neighbors collected winter clothes for Ukrainian refugees, and others collected and delivered household items and clothes sent to women's shelters for victims of domestic violence. When a suggestion was offered somebody was there to respond.

The school is having a Christmas festival soon. She  was going to have a bazaar, but  didn't have enough items to sell. Her husband posted to the alley community. "Christmas Donation Suggestion: We accept donations of unused toys. We'll send them to the Christmas bazaar at the New Malden Hangeul School. The school is where the South and North Korean communities in New Malden learn Korean culture and language together. It operates in the spirit of reconciliation and peace that connects two divided societies. In a time when division and inconsistency are prevalent, it is truly precious that there is such a space for harmony and unity. We accept donations until Friday." He posted in the morning, and 20 toys came in that morning.

She looked back on her disappointment on seeing the loose solidarity, lack of a warm interchange, and shallow practice of the alley community. She hoped that the school, where children from South and North Korean families study together, would become a community of inter-Korean reconciliation and peace. She dreamed of a strong solidarity or a family-like relationship. She kept trying to realize this dream but it never was to be. 

However, loose solidarity and neighborhood relations may be enough. Live your own daily life, be kind to each other, help each other when you need help, and join us even if only casually if there is something to do together. It is precious to have a space to gather together in an era where division and inconsistency are prevalent.

Christmas feast. Children play cheerfully, and if there is a chance for the parents of the children to engage in conversation with each other even if awkwardly that is enough. She prays that the Lord will bless the time together.

Becoming a Healthy and Happy Believer

In 'Light of the World' the priest columnist of the Catholic Times gives us his ideas on being a healthy believer. 

Another year goes by and before you know it, as the clock of life ticks toward dusk, there are times, he wonders how much time he has left. How much time can we spend accepting someone and patting someone on the back? "How many days does he have left to love without being anxious or sad?" Taken from a Korean poem— 'How many days do I have left to love?'

"A glass of milk in the morning, fast food for lunch, looking at the hands of the clock like a person being chased… Everyone has the same face and extends their hand to shake, but they are all walking with different hearts. Where are we going without saying anything? People who are together but are lonely."

This song is called 'City People' by the late Shin Hae-cheol, released in 1992. Even though 30 years have passed he predicted this day accurately.

Even though the world has become more comfortable and affluent, we are always busy and lonely, and happiness is far away. Why is that so? There are many reasons, but there are also some universal factors. 

Although the world has become materially rich, we actually miss out on important values such as family, friends, community, spirituality, faith, service, sharing, caring for, and loving each other— the civilization of advanced modern society alone cannot fulfill human happiness. 

Pope Francis emphasized the role of Christians when he said: "If you want to proclaim the Gospel, you must stand on the streets" (General Audience, Wednesday, November 29, 2023). What is that role? God's children must frequently visit the places where their neighbors live, where they suffer, work, study, and think, to provide a place for encounter and conversation, and to embody the Gospel in their lives. This is an invitation to become healthy and happy believers.

Only then will the neighbors we meet experience the happiness God wants us to have. What must we do to become such a person of faith? What do you think the secret is? There is no royal road. The way is to be close to the Mass, liturgy, and the Word of God, and to practice prayer, reflection, silence, and charity. We need to focus on spiritual values to be happy.

Conflicts and difficulties always exist in society and the world, and much effort and cooperation are required to resolve them. Prayer and spirituality give us a lot of strength along the way. So, despite our busy schedules, we must make time to mature our spirituality. 

How many days do we have left to love? Like the Old Testament Book of Job which predicted that the most amazing wisdom is to fear God and avoid evil (see Job 28:28). 

The Power of Reading

In the Recent Catholic Times, the priest director of a culture and theology research center headlines his column:  Reading is listening to invisible voices and discovering hidden truths.

Members of the ‘Shalom Society, a group of future-generation researchers at the Catholic Northeast Asia Peace Institute in one of the  Dioceses,  reading Pope Francis’ 2018 exhortation "The Joy of the Gospel". Reading is listening to invisible sounds and discovering hidden truths.

The columnist mentions that he is always reading. The act of reading is the biggest ritual in his life. Read society, read church, read people, read books and articles. Read newspapers, magazines, Facebook, and blogs. He doesn't remember when he stopped watching TV news?  Pope Francis said not to do desk-based theology, but his reading rarely leaves his desk and computer monitor.

Reading is about interest and questioning how the world is moving. What is driving today's society into an undesirable state? How is the church operating in this era? What and how do we act in the name of faith? Where do people live and pay attention? How does human existence in time understand and respond to aging and death? Reading is about paying attention. Sometimes he is interested in things that reveal thoughts and perceptions, sometimes attracted to things that contain feelings and emotions, and sometimes events that include volitional and accidental acts. 

Reading is the act of reading the times. Reading the Times includes reading the news. Today we live in a flood of news. In the post-truth era, most media do not aim for the common good. All news is processed and consumed within a commercial context and through partisan perspectives. Even serious and important incidents are treated with curiosity and marketability. Reading the news in this day and age calls for discernment. It is not easy to read with proper interest, delicate discernment, and honest reflection on the world amidst a flood of all kinds of information.

Reading the news is about interest and love for the world. He stopped reading portal news ( the way we access the news) for several years. Go directly to good media sites and read them. It is the minimum expression of willingness to identify and select news on one's own. There is too much news that is commercially or ideologically polluted and distorted. As a timid everyday person, he comforts himself that reading the right news through discernment and choice is an expression of honest love for the world. 

Reading a person's inner self and emotions through reading poetry. What kind of perceptions and beliefs does an individual live with during his or her journey of life? From what perspective do you view the world, nature, people, objects, and events? With what emotions and attitude do you respond to things that come as 'fate' and coincidence? To the writer, nothing shows it better than poetry. Without poetry, how dull and empty his life would have been. Being able to live with faith and walk the path of life while reading poetry is a  grace and blessing in his life.

What we must ultimately accomplish in this short journey of life is love and 'revolution'. Love in this era is reading, discernment, understanding, and empathy. Reading is listening to invisible sounds and discovering hidden truths. It is something that reaches him to the end even amid gaps and discrepancies. The revolution of this era is a renewal of beliefs, attitudes, and lifestyles. A change in the way we live through faith is the revolution of our time. Are today’s churches and believers living a life of reading and change?

Difficulties of the Elderly

The second Sunday of Advent was Human Rights Sunday and the Catholic Times published an article on the aging of Korean society and the problems that arise. This whole week is a time for the Catholics to reflect on the social aspects of our spiritual life.

According to the government, Korea will enter a super-aging society around 2025. A super-aging society is a situation where the population aged 65 or older accounts for more than 20% of the total population. This figure is 18.7% as of September this year.  In the Korean Church, all parishes have already entered the super-aging society index in 2021. Looking at last year's church statistics, the proportion of believers over 65 years old accounts for 26.4%.

 

Due to the rapid increase in the elderly population, various related problems such as poverty and people living alone are seen. Elderly abuse is also on the rise. According to the Ministry of Health and Welfare’s ‘2022 Elderly Abuse Status Report’, the number of elderly abuse cases has increased every year over the past five years. The number of repeat abuses is also increasing. The place where it happens most is at home.  

Recently, a 78-year-old man was handed over from the police to the Seoul Metropolitan Government Southern Senior Protection Agency. Mr. A, who had let his son live with him in a rented room, squandered the father's life savings and was kicked out by his son who didn’t want to support his father. His son changed the front door password so his father could not enter the house. Mr. A, who had not been able to eat, was severely undernourished and was found wandering the streets without shoes by a neighbor.

Mr. A lived in a shelter for three months with the help of an agency. He kept silent about his son's neglect and abuse during the administrative process of becoming a national basic welfare recipient. 

These and similar cases show that even though the children abandoned their parents, parents could not let go of their grief for their child. The United Nations and the World Health Organization (WHO) established June 15 as World Elder Abuse Awareness Day in 2006 to raise awareness of the seriousness of elder abuse. 

Domestic abuse refers to abuse not only by family members living in the same household, such as spouses and adult children but also by other relatives, such as caregivers who do not live in the same household.  

The reasons behind the increase in abuse include changes in household structure, the burden of care, and the stress of raising children. In particular, the number of single-family households for the elderly is rapidly increasing, life expectancy is getting longer, and ‘elderly care’, where the elderly care for the elderly, is also increasing.  It increased from 36.2% in 2018 to 42.2% in 2022.

Even if they are spouses, there are physical and mental limitations in caring for the elderly, which leads to abuse. Until now, abuse by ‘sons’ was the most common, but from 2021, abuse by ‘spouses’ is taking up the largest proportion. According to the ‘Comprehensive Report on Human Rights of the Elderly’ published by the National Human Rights Commission of Korea in 2018, 51.5% of the elderly and 87.6% of the young and middle-aged answered ‘yes’ to the item— ‘Conversation between the elderly and young adults does not go well’. 

 In this situation, to prevent abuse of the elderly, ‘establishing a culture of empathy and respect between generations’ and ‘improving negative perceptions of the elderly’ are considered basic solutions. Experts say: “To create a culture of generational empathy and respect, efforts must be made to reflect this in the education process for children and youth.” 

Specifically, because abuse has the characteristic of being concealed and repeated continuously at home, if circumstances of abuse are discovered, it must be immediately reported and the cycle of continued abuse must be broken through professional intervention. 

In churches that have already surpassed the super-aging society index, active measures are requested to increase the proportion of the elderly in decision-making bodies such as pastoral councils, taking into account the proportion of the elderly. Although the situation varies from parish to parish, the reality is that there are not many organizations in which seniors can participate.  

The article concludes with the words of a religious sister working with the elderly: "The spirituality of old age is to live so that aging is not a disability but a completion of life. The power that maintains the current church is the faith of the elderly, so pastoral methods that embrace the elderly need to be considered. 

In addition, she added: "It is also important to enable the elderly to fulfill the role of transmitters of the faith through their experience and seniority, such as providing opportunities to tell stories of faith to the young." 

The Plight of the Disabled

In the Diagnosis of the Time column of the Catholic Times, we hear about the difficulties some of the disabled have to endure in modern-day society from a priest director of a Center for Human Rights. 

At one of the subway stations, people in wheelchairs line up and enter the train. Passengers are grumbling with disapproving expressions, and some are yelling. "Do we have to have this much trouble to travel?" This is the scene of the March 2001 protest shown in a documentary: ‘Report on the struggle for mobility rights for the disabled – Let’s take the bus!’ (2002). In 2001, a disabled person died while riding a lift at a subway Station. From then on we witnessed many protests.

 

In December 2021, 20 years later, a subway protest was held on the way to work to demand an increase in the budget for the rights of the disabled. They wanted guarantees of the minimum rights for disabled people to live like human beings such as the right to movement, the right to education, the right to labor, and the right to live together in the community. 

This was the first time in history that there was a protest on the way to work. It was a protest that started with the 'preparation to give of one's all', but nothing changed. The protests continued, and abusive language pierced the hearts of people with disabilities. Politicians and high-ranking public officials labeled them as ‘uncivilized people’ and ‘socially powerful’ and incited citizens. 

In the world, where are the powerful who chain themselves to protest and have to crawl on the subway floor with their entire bodies? Where is the civilization where people have no choice but to leave their residences only a few times a month because they cannot take the bus? This situation of insults, cold treatment, and not treating people as human beings continues.

Fundamental rights are not obtained by begging and pleading but are given as a matter of course, and according to church teachings, they are ‘sacred.’ The subway protest was an event that took a problem that no one saw as a problem and threw it out into the world. No matter what words are used in front of minorities and the weak, they are human beings.   If we determine that a person is a  human being who possesses desirable characteristics that must be realized, then a person who falls short of these is not a person. 

Dignity comes not from realizing human characteristics, but from human existence, which is a ‘wonder’ in itself. And here faith takes us one step further. The Incarnation is the event in which God became man. Incarnation is an explosive love that goes outside of oneself and completely changes the narrow-minded love of humans. In this event that makes us see our lives completely differently and expands our love, God and man belong to each other. Communion with God is the basis of dignity. 

Every Christian has a calling to cultivate justice in this world, but people with disabilities in particular live out that calling by showing ‘privileged evidence of being human.’ "Disabled people are the ones who teach us what the love that saves us is, and they are the ones who tell us about a new world that will no longer be dominated by power, violence, and brutality, but will be made up of solidarity, inclusion, and love." (St. John Paul II Pope) 

This is not to give ethical lessons to non-disabled people or advise them to become better people. He is asking whether it is the human way to insult and be hostile to someone, to feel uncomfortable just by looking at them, and to sympathize with someone out of pride. It is a sin to regard injustice and discrimination as normal and unavoidable. In times like this, can our prayers save us?

Women's Voice Within the Church

The Catholic Times had an article by the director of a theological research center on Korean Catholic women's understanding of the Church in today's world.

'Catholics who study Jesus and women', is a group of women who meet once a month, to study theological issues as seen by women. They conducted a simple online survey last month. The results of a  survey conducted by researchers at Newcastle University in Australia to listen to the opinions of Catholic women around the world in preparation for the Synod of Bishops were published in this year's report. These same survey questions were translated into Korean and used by the columnist for an online unscientific survey here in Korea.

In the international survey, a total of 17,200 people from 104 countries responded but few of them came from Asia or Africa, and most of them reflected the opinions of Western women so she was curious about what Korean female believers would think. 

Thanks to increased participation by sharing the survey link, a total of 149 people responded. Compared to the international survey, where there were a total of 400 respondents from Asian countries, including 192 from India and 99 from Taiwan, they considered their survey had a significant number of cases from Asia. She would like to share all the details mentioned by these women, who mostly responded that ‘my identity as a Catholic is important to me’ (94%), but given the lack of space, she will only introduce the content that stood out among the many issues.

Since the international survey was a survey related to the synod itinerary, most questions were about the need for reform of the Catholic Church. The international survey, in which mainly Western women participated, found that 'Church leaders need to address abuse of power and other forms of abuse, including spiritual harm' (89%) and that 'clericalism is harming the Catholic Church' (85%). The level of agreement on these subjects was the highest. 

However, female believers in Korea agreed that ‘climate change is an urgent issue that must be addressed by the entire church’ (95.3%) and that ‘language used in liturgy and church documents should not be gender-discriminatory’ (95.3%). On these issues, the degree of agreement was the highest. Naturally, the situation and priority interests of Korean female believers are different from those of Western women, but among the survey items that deal with problems within most churches, female believers are most interested in responding to climate change, which is presented as a social task for the church. It was surprising to see this. Also noteworthy is the fact that among the challenges within the church cited by female believers in Korea, sensitivity to language that is not sexist is important. 

There was a problem with the language expressed in the priest's homily, including the title 'Brothers' (which in Korean does include women but they would prefer brothers and sisters) during Mass, but more fundamentally, there was a need for women to have their presence recognized in the church. Of course, it is important to resolve the mountain of tasks within the church, but through the voices of Korean female believers, she feels once again that the ultimate goal of such internal renewal and purification is to enable our church to better proclaim the gospel to the world. Spreading the gospel to the world goes beyond just an invitation to come to church; it involves efforts to restore God's created order in the era of climate crisis; and a desire to listen and share with the poor and suffering; it encompasses everything that citizens are interested in and participate in. 

Just as the Church teaches that “inscribing the law of God in the civil life of this world is the work of laypeople with a properly formed conscience” (Article 43 of the Pastoral Constitution), we, believers, must take the lead as ‘Catholic citizens’ engraving the law of God in Korean society. Since they have an active role to play in the whole life of the Church, laypersons are not only bound to penetrate the world with a Christian spirit but are also called to be witnesses to Christ in all things in human society.