Stages of Life

In the "Preciousness of Faith" Column of the Catholic Peace Weekly, a seminary professor offers readers some thoughts on the stages of growth.

The way life is born, grows, matures into adulthood, and then gives birth to new life. This intergenerational continuity of life is both astonishing and mysterious. The word 'generativity' (translated as 'fertility') refers to the principle of life transmission. 

It was said that life is transmitted through four stages: 'desire, birth, nurturing (care), and letting go'. Of course, this is not merely a biological process. People of faith recognize God's hand in it. This is because it follows the laws of creation planted by God. 

The defining feature of these four stages is that pain and joy intersect at every moment. In each stage—desire, birth, nurturing, and letting go—we experience unique pains and sorrows, as well as the joy and ecstasy that transcend them. For instance, how much pain does a mother endure before her child is born? Yet, in the joy of the child's birth, the mother forgets all that pain.

This makes us reconsider what it means to become an adult. Growing older does not automatically make one an adult. It is through participating in the process of giving birth and nurturing life, learning within it the pain and joy, and even the self-sacrifice of letting go, that one 'becomes an adult'. In that sense, isn't a priest who has never given birth and raised a child the most immature of all?

The drama 'I Was Completely Duped' prompted the columnist to reevaluate what it means to become an adult. Becoming an adult isn't about acting the part when perfectly prepared. It's about experiencing both hardship and joy while bearing and raising a child, going through all four stages of longing, birth, nurturing, and letting go, and in that process, becoming a mother, a father, and an adult.

The same applies to priests. What it means to live as a priest can only be known by actually living as one. And it is only by living that way that one truly becomes a priest--- 'Birth, Growth, Nurturing, and Letting Go'. 

Seminary life exemplifies this. Aspirants yearn to enter, are born through the entrance ceremony, undergo a decade of nurturing, and are sent forth through priestly ordination. In this process, seminarians learn how to become parents.

This remains true even after being assigned to a parish. The priestly life involves caring for and nurturing the community. It encompasses longing, birth, nurturing, and letting go. New life is born through baptism, one leaves parents through marriage, and life may end with a funeral Mass. Living through all these stages of life together, the priest matures into an adult and into a priest.

Becoming an adult also means learning generosity and 包容力 (Tolerance). Rather than taking sides between quarreling children, it means learning to embrace them all warmly as precious offspring—to receive and hold them with generosity,包容力, and a forgiving heart. 

When he was first assigned as an assistant priest to a parish, his parents came to greet the parish priest and presented him with a quilt as a gift. He didn't realize it then, but now reflects that perhaps it was a gift embodying the parents' heartfelt wish for their child's faults to be covered. We have all come this far through the generosity of our parents and elders.

God is precisely such a being. God is the true adult. And God looks upon us as children with such generosity and kindness, accepting us. He desires us to embrace our own lived experiences, reflecting His heart. The Lord knows every twist and turn of our lives. He dwells within them, rejoicing with us, suffering with us, blessing our lives, and encouraging us. We are becoming true adults.