Love Felt in Silence

A priest writing in the Bible & Life magazine recounts an incident that happened when he was in middle school. It was a Sunday afternoon and he had made plans to see a movie with a friend. He waited for over half an hour and when the friend did not show up, he made a call to the boy's home from a public telephone. A man answered the phone who he thought was his friend's father but it was his own father. He was so taken up with the prospects of seeing the movie and being disappointed when his friend failed to meet him that he had called his own home number. The father didn't recognize his son's voice nor did the son recognize his father's voice. When the father heard the name of his son's friend, he said that it was the wrong number for no one by that named lived there.

They say that those who have a loving relationship can tell by looking into the eyes of the other and know what is in their heart. And here we have a son talking to his father and failing to recognize each others voice.  Does that mean there wasn't love between them? the priest asks. He tells us that even despite what happened he never doubted his father's love. To make judgements about the existence or the absence of love in such cases is wrong, he says.  

Because they were not able to recognize the others voice, does that mean it wasn't  a close relationship? No, that is not the case, the priest insists. There was no doubt about the love they had for each other.  Why?  Simply because in that situation there was no indication by what had happened that there was a lack of love.

On radio recently, he said there was a public service announcement, "Don't say 'I want to see you.' Refrain from sending text messages with 'I love you.'  Don't press 'good' as a  comment. There is no need for such comments." The point that is being made is that there is no need to convey those messages without the person being present. Whenever you are driving a car simply keep your full attention on driving and not on sending text messages. This is the way to express that love.  Love should be sensed without feeling the need to do something because of circumstances.
 
He reminds us of the story of Mary and Martha from the Scriptures.  Martha showed  her love for Jesus by  working in the kitchen. She wanted Mary to show that same kind of love. There is no question that Martha was showing love for Jesus but in those circumstances Mary, by doing nothing, was also showing love by only listening to Jesus and she, as Jesus pointed out, had selected the better way. 

We often say that when we do nothing for the person we love, that is not love.  So we expect those who love us to show that love by what they do for us.  But love can be shown without any action or words. I can also love another in a particular circumstance by merely thinking in silence, by closing my eyes. Doing nothing for love can be a powerful silent doing within our hearts. Circumstances will determine how it will be expressed. 

Cynicism Not a Healthy Response

A cold sardonic smile, a sneer, a lack of interest would all serve as the meaning of a Korean word which in English would be translated as cynicism. A seminary professor feels that this cynicism has entered our society and with it we now have a code word that he believes will help us understand what is going on, even within the Church.

In his seminary classes he uses a book that considers cynicism to be a defense mechanism often used in Korean society. History has not been kind to Korea, having suffered many trials such as the last days of the Chosen dynasty, the Japanese occupation, the conflict in ideologies after liberation, the War and the political dictatorship. It was cynicism, says the professor, that  helped the Koreans endure during those difficult years.

However, he would like the word to include much more than merely taking a disapproving attitude to what is   happening around us. When we are not pleased with events, we are often content to criticize without making any effort to change the situation, he says, as we stand off to the side, arms crossed to signal our indifference, complaining. This attitude is not just seen among individuals but also in groups and within religion.
 
Religion, wherever it's found, is frequently surrounded by cynical responses, and even in Korea religion is not off limits. Scandalous incidents in which  religious people have  been involved, sensationalistic news reports and the subsequent gullible public response nourishes this cynicism. Distrust among people and the piling up of these examples influences the  thinking of the individual, and finds its way into the  Church.

When a religion is not sensitive to changes in society, seeks to solve the problems in traditional ways, and is not open to healthy give-and-take dialogue, lack of trust is fostered within the community and among individuals. As a consequence, the decisions and teachings of the leaders will soon be greeted with discontent, and members will gather in twos and threes in cynical debate concerning their lack of trust in the leaders. It is a serious situation, the professor says, where the very identity of the Church will be in crisis.

It's important, he believes, to distinguish between authority and authoritarianism.  Authority is needed whenever a group comes together for some shared objective. Authoritarianism, which is blind to the wishes of those governed, is never needed. The professor feels that the symbols for rightful authority are disappearing. The respect and obedience to king, teacher, and father have mostly disappeared. Lack of discernment in what we have accepted from the West has weakened our sense of the sacred and religious authority. But authority has to earn respect, for the response to the demands of authority will often hinge on what is seen.

Lack of discussion and information and the presence of irresponsible words within the community frequently breeds cynicism. We need, says the professor, more discussion on the problems that face the Church, and more trust that the Holy Spirit is still directing the Church. He mentions that in the Acts of the Apostles, the infant Church picked an apostle to take the place of Judas, and they did so by selecting him by lot. A strange way to us in the 21st century, but that was and is the way of the Church. There is a trust in the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and no better way to combat the tendency to cynicism than remembering the trust of the Church in providence and the Holy Spirit.

In Christ We are all Equal

"We are all equal in Christ" is the headline, appearing over an article in the Bible and Life magazine, written by a priest working in a poor area of Seoul City. He reflects on the words he heard continually in the seminary: in Christ we are all equal, only the duties are different. The reason for emphasizing this was to keep the seminarians from getting a big head, from wanting to be treated as special, and to keep them humble, he reminds himself.

The priest wants to live this truth, and is the reason, he says, that he has chosen to live among the poor, especially the weak and the alienated of  society. However, there have been unexpected problems he has learned to face by bringing to mind the words: "Follow all the rules of  etiquette,  don't just speak for appearance sake, and don't go beyond what is necessary to be polite in words and actions."  He doesn't want those who relate with him to  fail to say what is in their heart. This is, he believes, what makes for a natural relationship. 

By confronting the difficulties that are likely to occur in any relationship, change does come, he says. He doesn't want to down play the vital role of the priesthood, this is understood, but he believes in the importance of being treated as an equal in the daily activities of the parish. In meetings,  the expectation is to have differences of opinion and conflict, which is frequently expressed by such statements as "That is your opinion, Father, but isn't it true that your opinion is not always right?" The objective of both parties is the same, but in the process there is bickering over whose opinion is right, but inevitably we reconcile, he says, laugh, move on, and the words become heartfelt and friendly. "Father, would you please do this? Could you give me that? Please warm the coffee--all very human ways of relating with one another and greatly desired.

Those not of the community on hearing such interchanges, often express surprise. How can one speak in that way to the priest? And yet, the priest is  thankful with this comfortable exchange. When there is something to be said, it is said simply and directly. It keeps him from seeing himself, he says, with any pretensions.  It's natural to dislike hearing disagreeable words when we are involved, but with more understanding of what caused the difficulty the feeling quickly passes. 
 
His own experience is that this kind of relationship builds confidence, which further motivates people to speak from the heart. However, as happens in any community, there often develops a pecking order, with those at the bottom not speaking up. They are disregarded and do what they are told. Helping this part of the community to take their rightful place is a continuing task,  he says.

Society, our parents, or others in authority often are the ones giving us the role and pecking order we will follow in life. In past times, it was the nobles, the ordinary folk, and the slaves. This was considered normal, and everyone knew their place. The order is still there without the labeling. Today it may be money, power, age, honor, and the like, often accepting these with care, but at times in a servile manner.

Why do we fail to appreciate the worth of others no matter where they are ranked? Perhaps, the priest suggests, because we are easily dragged into following the crowd.

He concludes with a sigh, not knowing precisely what it is that we must do to achieve our ideal relationships. Yes, we are all equal in Jesus... He loves us all... We are his disciples. And yet we follow the rules of the world rather than that of our Lord, and even within the Church we have the "high and low" standard. He doesn't want to get involved in this, and though saddened by it, he manages, he says, among all the difficulties, to keep smiling.

A Wider Understanding of Evangelization

One of the respected elder priests, monsignor Tjeng Eui-chai, has published the second volume of The Common Culture of  Humanity. In this followup volume, A New Way of Seeing Korea, he examines the role of the Church in the 21st century. 88 years old and still very active, he continues to lecture and express himself with passion on what the Church must do in today's world to stay relevant. Both Catholic papers reviewed the book, as did the secular press. 

The place of the layperson in the Church comprises the first section of the book, which focuses on the type of layperson described in the teachings of the Second Vatican Council. In the following section he discusses how best to work with the young, and suggests that the area around the Cathedral parish, one of the most popular for sightseers, should be developed with an eye to attracting more of the younger generation. The third section deals with the current problems facing the Church: empty pews, loss of the young and a shift to eclecticism within the  Church, along with his proposals for solving the problems.

It's imperative, he says, that the Church give more attention to the young and help them to become interested in work of service to other peoples of the world, in the manner of St. Paul, who went out to the world to speak the message of Christ. He advocates for a one world culture, by which he means; coexistence, mutual help and  common  public undertakings. The Catholic Church should be a leader, he says, in bringing this about, stressing the importance of the Church's mission in accomplishing this goal--a goal best achieved not by talk but by action.

Korea for many years suffered under colonization and totalitarian rule, and we became accustomed, under these trying conditions, to using words like justice and human rights. Now, having fully returned to our traditional culture, the theme would be "life" and "love." The  foundation for this will be life: the search for the good life for all, which is the blue print given to us at creation.

Protestantism, he says, helped to give Korea prosperity; Catholicism, a hundred years earlier, gave the Koreans a new way of thinking. And like a prairie fire, it  brought about the  death of many, and  the hermit kingdom's door was opened to the world.

He mentions that the young and the intelligentsia are not interested in religion, and consequently the Church is being pushed from the vital life of society. In 1891 when labor was struggling with serious problems, Pope Leo 13th, in the encyclical Rerum Novarum (The Condition of Labor), spelled out the Catholic way of solving the problem. In the United States Monsignor Ryan, in the 1930s, with this teaching did much to alleviate  some of the problems of the depression. The Catholic Church in Korea also should be prepared to do something similar with a  wider understanding of evangelization to help many live a more human life.

Laypeople Within the Church

Last Sunday was Layman's Sunday, another opportunity for the Church to encourage the laity to take their rightful place within the Church--the sleeping giant.  A professor, whose talk on the current state of the layperson in Korea was picked up by the Korean Catholic "Now Here" news service, expressed the hope of the Church that our Catholic laity will soon have a prominent role to play in Church affairs.

He prefaced his talk with two questions: How do we make Catholicism believable? And what is the culture asked of our laity? In answering these questions, he said that the number of Catholics in society cannot be overlooked and, as a consequence, we must take into consideration that the role of the laity has  grown in importance. He believes that laypersons are not sufficiently conscious of this change and what it means in terms of their place in the larger society. They still remain concerned only with the parish and the groups to which they belong, he said.  
 
The professor prefers to use the word "culture" when describing today's Catholic layperson rather than the word "spirituality." He would like the laity to focus more on justice and peace issues, on ethical issues in harmonious dialogue with others, and on the teachings of the Second Vatican Council, with the goal of working together with other religions for the good of society.
 
The emphasis on the layperson's cultural background and understanding is intended to promote  a more believable Church, with better communication and training on the part of the laity. This cultural attainment is not only a desire for knowledge--though there never is a place for ignorance and shamelessness--but a desire to be truly human. The laity needs a  grounding in the Scripture and in the traditions of the Church, as they engage other religions and the whole of society in dialogue and with the communication proper to the times, so that there can be more active participation in works for justice and the common good.

When we have  this growth among the laity, the quality of the sermons will change, and the way the parish is run will improve, he said, adding that "the call to follow our Lord is not only addressed to the clergy and religious but to laypeople. The laypeople  have the same call to holiness, and are no less required to be free of the unlimited desire for power and riches."

Laypeople are the ones who are to work in society doing the work of Jesus and have not been exempted, he pointed out, from striving for holiness. The clergy must not diminish with their authority the rightful duties of the layperson as he endeavors to work within society and its often daunting cultural guidelines. The clergy prepares the laity by working with them, but more as teachers than as active workers within the culture. Our mission requires the laity to be full of vitality, as it works for the sanctification of society. And there is, he said, "no  glass ceiling stopping us."

Today is the last Sunday of the liturgical year and we celebrate the Feast of Christ the King. All of us at baptism have received the mission of king, prophet and priest. Today is a good time to reflect on how well we have lived up to this calling when we entered the community of the Church.

Regular and Irregular Workers

A bishop, writing on "faith and finances" in the Catholic Times, reminds us that inventions and and even significant historical changes often depend on the level of economic development achieved and on the availability of money to support these changes. At times, the bishop says, this state of affairs creates more pain than the pain that accompanies our last days on earth. In the 20th century alone there have been two world wars, and even today there is fighting and mass killings in many parts of the world which have been influenced, the bishop believes, by the world of finance.

The Church sees this financial world as a way of making our lives more fruitful and as a tool to participate in the work of creation. Finances are now so deeply involved in the operation of the world that there is no way for humanity to separate from the effects of this world. The only solution is to search for a right relationship with it, and a correct standard determining what is good and what is evil, what is true and what is false.  Catholics can find this in our social teaching.
 
The bishop mentions that there are many areas where we have serious difficulties. He cites the example of the establishment of the irregular and regular worker distinction at the time of the 1997 International Monetary Fund bail out. To help with the Asian financial crisis, corporations were allowed to employ irregular workers who could be hired or fired at the will of the company. Even after 10  years we continue this policy.

The policy has caused many problems, says the bishop. Those who are working in fast food restaurants, convenience stores and big markets are often irregular workers. In fact, over half the workers in the country are irregular workers, who often are faced with deplorable working conditions and a lack of security.

Even if they do the same work as a regular worker and have the  same qualifications, their pay, on average, is 1,000 dollars less a month. The principle in the workplace is not one of sharing but of efficiency.  It is not finances for the person but the person for the finances.  We know this is not the way it should be, and with this kind of thinking the situation will continue to get worse.

Many of us are not familiar with the plight of the irregular workers and until this changes, the situation will not improve. The bishop ends his column with a wish that the Christians  become familiar with what is going on in the workplace. All wish to live a life of happiness of both body and spirit, and when we see this injustice and inhuman treatment of many of our workers, we as Christians should be on the forefront calling for changes to a financial system that will be more interested in sharing the wealth for the many than in amassing wealth for the few. 

What do we Mean by Success?

 

Deciding on what course of action to take when contemplating the work we intend to pursue after college, students frequently are confronted with a choice: select the work that will bring in the most money or select what the heart wants and will bring them the most personal satisfaction. In the Peace Weekly, a college professor mentions meeting a student on campus, who openly confided her worries to the professor. With a double major in business administration, she looked forward to the future but did not feel she would be happy in that field. At this stage in the educational process, she told the professor she felt she lacked the courage to change. Should she continue in business for a successful career, she asked, or should she do what her heart wants? That was her plight.
 

To be successful, you must have the grades and specifications that are better than others, consequently, you sacrifice sports and time socializing with the opposite sex, to have more time for classroom work and the library. Even with this routine there often is not enough time for study. It has been some time now that colleges have lost their image of being temples for learning and have become training schools for jobs. The romanticism of the campuses has disappeared. Everyone, seemingly, is madly  searching for a successful career. The professor wonders who is responsible for this headlong desire for success in the marketplace. Is it, he asks, the way to happiness?

Interestingly, the word for "successful career" is made up of two Chinese characters (出世), meaning "leave"  and "world." Originally, the word in Buddhism meant "to leave the world," riches and honors were not considered of much value. The word also has another meaning of "gaining fame in the world." The first character keeps  its meaning but the character for world depends on the meaning given.  Those who have a negative meaning for the word would be Buddha, Chuang Tzu and Plato. Buddha found the world full of hardships; the quicker we rid our self of this pain the better. Life for Chuang Tzu  was like an excrescence on the body, a boil we have to excise; for Plato the body was a prison that needed to be left behind. For all three, the world was a fetter from which we want to free ourselves.

The second  meaning--making a name for oneself in the world--would depend on the value one seeks. Today, making a name for oneself is the more often understood meaning of the word, in most instances. A third meaning for the word would be to seek another world much better than the one we are currently living in.

It seems, says the professor, that the early Greeks also saw making a name for oneself in the world as the ideal goal in life.  Seeing life as a place to gain possessions would help to influence this kind of thinking. This was one of the reasons, the professor notes, that oratory was so highly valued with the  Greek sophists, who were not interested in truth or falsehood, but in what would benefit oneself.  Confucius considered this thinking self-flattery.
 

But no matter how you understand the word, "world," it's the place we live in, we can't, the professor reminds us, completely separate our self from this world. We can only move from one place to another within it, giving up one thing for another. One man who was volunteering in a free lunch program for the elderly said something which moved the professor deeply, " I am a  person who has been fed and now I'm feeding others; I have succeeded in life." In the same way, says the professor, a person who has overcome the world has succeeded.  When a person's thinking changes, when we can relinquish the things of the world which imprison us, and we can freely choose among many possibilities, then our opportunities to find happiness will also increase.