The Cost of Addiction

The horse race track on any given Sunday is filled with betters dreaming of hitting it big. Just another of the many rampant addictions that keep us from growing spiritually. A priest responsible for the pastoral care of those addicted expresses his thoughts in the Peace Weekly on the serious evil of addictions. 
  
" Addiction is not a simple  problem to deal with. The consequences are an enormous  loss to society and one that hurts the church greatly," he laments. "Children are addicted to games, mothers to shopping, cosmetics, fathers to the gambling casinos and to alcohol.  Addiction ruins our mental health, nurtures crime, destroys the moral order, in a word, it brings moral depravity and death."

In an accompanying article Pope Francis, in his Lenten message on destitution, is quoted as saying, "[Destitution] is not the same as poverty. Destitution is poverty without faith, without support, without hope. There are three types of destitution: material, moral and spiritual....No less a concern is moral destitution, which consists in slavery to vice and sin. How much pain is caused in families because one of their members-– often a young person--is in thrall to alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography! How many people no longer see meaning in life or prospects for the future. This type of destitution, which also causes financial ruin, is invariably linked to the spiritual destitution which we experience when we turn away from God and reject his love."

Statistics show that in Korea one out of 8 persons is addicted. A professor at the Catholic University says that of the 50 million in Korea over 6 million are addicted to either alcohol, gambling, the internet or to drugs; the loss to society is enormous. Each of our acts has ramifications that we are not able to foresee or imagine, but the consequences will appear sooner or later to both the individual and society.  

The prevalence of suicide, abortion and the like in our society shows contempt for life and the destitution of our morals. When we do something that shows contempt for life, whether we realize it or not, there are bound to be grave consequences. 

The medical and educational concerns surrounding these issues should be addressed by the government, the priest urges. Other serious topics of discussion, he says, would be addressing the unequal distribution of wealth, and the current unemployment rate of about 4 percent. All these problems of society demand concern from  the government, churches and voluntary organizations in society, and in trying to solve them we should not in the process foster more material, moral  and spiritual poverty. 

The article quotes from Joy of the Gospel "How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses two points? This is a case of exclusion." We as Christians should  be concerned and do what we can to make our society better and more just.

Choosing Happiness

Most people marry to find happiness, and divorce to find happiness. Ironically,  after the second marriage, divorces outnumber those that occur after the first marriage.

In an article in the Kyeongyang magazine, a professor in a Catholic University  reminds us that we are the ones choosing happiness or unhappiness. In marriage both promise to care and support one another in an emotional relationship in which they promise marital fidelity, and with the registration of the marriage the legal responsibility to one another, and the common ownership of their possessions.

In marriage they promise to live life together, which often means eating together,sleeping together,  watching movies together, and to be completely open to each other. And to help each other during difficult times.

According to the statistics for 2012, there have been 114,300 divorces, about the same from the previous year. However, those with over 20 years of married life, divorces have increased 1.68 times from what it was 10 years before, and those with less than 4 years of marriage, divorces have increased for the first time, from 24.7 percent. In 1993, those with children who divorced numbered 68.8 percent; last year this number decreased to 52.8 percent. But the number of divorces among those with no children increased from 31.2 percent to 47.0 percent.

He lists the reasons for the increase of divorces: the change in attitude toward divorce within society,  the improvement in women's educational possibilities, the many employment openings for women, and their changing attitudes toward marriage as a consequence of their finding greater acceptance in the workplace,  fewer children being raised in the typical family,  the equal treatment of women under the law, expectations for a longer life--all have influenced  the number of divorces.

The number of couples that are living separately continues to increase. One out of ten is not living with their spouse.This number has continued to increase since the year 2000. In many cases this is a first step before the divorce.

Conflicts within marriage are many and the common element in these unhappy marriages is an inability to communicate honestly and openly. There is an obvious need for couples to learn how to share their feelings with  each other. A happy couple is not the one that doesn't fight but the one that has learned to work through their conflicts. It is not the number of conflicts that is important but the number of  ways they have discovered to resolve the conflicts.

He notes 10 ways to resolve conflicts within  a marriage. Not to exaggerate; not to come across as a know-it-all; be responsible for what was wrong; be clear about what you want; don't go to the past to bring up misgivings, stay in the present; in any conflict, avoid discussing the spouse's point of greatest vulnerability; don't magnify the hurt that was received; don't say anything you are not willing to carry out; don't just talk but listen, and don't look for either one to be the winner or the loser.

He admits that it took him many years as a counselor to realize that it was necessary for him to choose to be happy;  unhappiness, he realized, was also his choice. An academic who made a  study of stress said that divorce gives more stress than anything outside of death. If this is the case, it is easy to imagine the stress that a divorce causes the children. The article finishes with what is necessary for a happy marriage: love, respect, care, sacrifice, responsibility--and to choose happiness at  every moment.

Finding Reasons To Hate

An advisory member of the Central Emergency Response Fund writes in the Bible & Life Magazine about her experiences as a world traveler. Han Pia recalls a trip to southern Spain where after attending the midnight Christmas Eve Mass she decided to have an early breakfast. At the same table was a German woman in her 50s. Seeing Pia making the sign of the cross before eating, the woman blurted out: "Are you are still going to church?"

Anna, the name of the woman, greatly agitated, then listed the "crimes" of the Church: " In Europe the Catholic Church went witch hunting, tortured and killed hundreds of thousands without any good reason, they built St. Peter's Church by selling indulgences, they protected the slave trade  in  West Africa, they were silent during the second world war at the atrocities against the Jewish people, the clergy were only interested in  money and power, and recently in the United States we've learned of the sexual sins of the clergy"--finally ending with "How  monstrous all this is." She spoke as if Pia was the one responsible for all these crimes.

Even in Korea, Pia mentions in her article that she often gets pushed into a corner with the recital of Catholic faults such as: Why do Catholics worship Mary when the Scriptures say we should not have any idols...if God is the only one who can forgive sins why do Catholics go to a man to have their sins forgiven...Catholics perform the sacrificial rites of Confucianism...they drink liquor and smoke...by compromising with the world, Catholicism shows itself to be a weak religion.

She has also been approached and told that she was a heretic and an anti Christ. Sometimes she answers in a heated tone and other times she keeps quiet. Since that meeting with Anna occurred the morning after Christmas Eve Mass, she decided to be silent, keeping all these thoughts to herself.

" You are right," Pia responded, "I also know about our history. Let us drink to the Catholic Church that we never see those things happening again. Cheers!" With a faint smile on Anna's face she too lifted her glass and they both toasted the Church. As they continued to talk she learned that Anna was a professor in a German university and had just recently  been divorced. She apologized for being so rude, saying that she was feeling depressed and when she saw Pia making the sign of the cross and seeing her expression of contentment, she was overcome with cynicism and out came those harsh words in  broken English.

"Anna, yesterday was the Eve of Christmas," said Pia. "If it wasn't I would have attacked you like a fighting chicken." She began to feel affection for Anna and wanted to tell her of the history of Catholicism in Korea, which she was proud of.  In Korea, Catholicism is respected, she told Anna, and went on to give a brief history.

Korean Catholicism started without any missioners about 250 years ago, Pia began. It was self-generated growth, the only place in the world that this has happened. Lee Seung-hun went to China, was baptized, returned and started to spread the faith among his friends and relatives. The numbers began to grow. Catholic teaching that we were all equal, men and women, nobles and commoners, was breaking down the traditional values of the country, which brought on the persecution. Catholicism  was  considered to be against our society and our morals and  needed to be  eradicated. Many thousands were killed with great cruelty and and yet they refused to deny their faith. The example of these  early Christians was among the major reasons for the respect the Church has received. She added that the papacy of Pope Francis has also added to the respect the Church is receiving in Korea.

Anna, a professed atheist, has no difficulty with Pope Francis and is in fact a fan. Pia is a great fan of Francis reading all the books that come out about Pope  and looking for news about him on the internet. As a lay person she has some worries about his health and the resistance that he may encounter as he carries out his "reformation."

She concludes her article with the incident that happened a few weeks ago. After Mass some doves were released and they were immediately attacked by large black birds and sea gulls. Pia saw this as a symbol of the resistance that Pope Francis could be getting from those who are not in sympathy with what he wants to do. Since she is a great fan of the Pope she keeps him in her prayers daily. To the question that she received from Anna--Do you still go to church?-- the answer is, she says, an unequivocal yes, and she will continue to go to meet the one who loves us so much.

Strike Against Having Children

"To encourage those families with  three or more  children, many rights and privileges will be given to them. Marriages are also to be encouraged between the noble class and ordinary citizens, and divorces will be regulated."

In the Peace Column of the Peace Weekly, the writer asks his readers to guess where and when these words were written. They happen to be the policy of the Roman Empire over 2000 years ago, issued  by the Emperor Augustus. The statutes of the law were rigorously carried out because the young people of Rome at that time were avoiding marriage and children. Those who were not married were assessed heavier taxes. Our situation here in Korea, says the columnist, is worse than it was in Roman times.

This year there has been another decrease in  the number of births, which the writer says does not augur well for the future of the country. Korea now has over a hundred schools with no students enrolled for the first year. The cities are no different and in one of the most famous schools in Seoul, in existence for 120 years, there were only 21 students entering their first year of schooling.

This also can be seen in our churches. The places that the children used to occupy are now empty. He notes that it is because the children are not being born that they are not  going to church. The numbers of those entering college will decease and also the numbers for the military. The government  knows the seriousness of the situation, and has increased the number of  day-care centers, provided financial incentives to parents for the birth of a child, lengthened the period of time-off from work and increased the budget to assist mothers. The government has also tried the policies of countries like France, Finland and even Japan with little success.  Numbers remain the same and young people continue their strike, as some call it, to not have children.

With the situation remaining in this serious state, with little likelihood that the policies will change,  marriages and births will also not change. The columnist believes that the government is not listening to the young men who will have the job of providing for the children they will bring into the world.

Young people are facing the obstacles of expensive weddings, competition within the workplace, the difficulty of supporting a family and the children that come.

The Roman Plutarch (46-120) has left us a few words about the avoidance of marriage in his day in his book On  Affection for Offspring (De Amore Prolis). "For when poor men do not rear their children, it is because they fear that if their children are educated less well than is befitting, they will become servile and boorish and destitute of all the virtues. Since they consider poverty the worst of evils, they cannot endure to let their children share it with them, as though it were a kind of disease, serious and grievous."

The Curse of Enforced Poverty

Turning the clock back a few years, says the bishop in his weekly column in the Catholic Times, we would find quite a few places where one could enjoy leisure time activities. Each neighborhood would have open spaces where you could find movies and circus events, along with other entertainments. In the alleyways you would see children playing with picture cards, jumping rope or dancing, and hear the chatter of children.

With the coming of industrialization, these human activities began to disappear. Today, the bishop says, the places where people are gathering and enjoying themselves are places that require an entrance fee. So the poor have few or no places to go to enjoy themselves.

Could this be one of the reasons we have so many cases of depression and mental problems among the poor? the bishop asks. Many people don't remember seeing so many mental problems in the past. With the loss of human interchange we  are spending more money for medical care.
 

Jesus told us not to keep our eyes only on material things. Not an easy thing to do today when leisure time activities are often centered on the acquisition of money.  Can we as Christians excuse ourselves  from any responsibility for this state of affairs? He wonders whether we are an important part of the problem.

Seoul is a city where many rich people live. Recently, he says, a mother of two daughters, living in Seoul and working in a diner, fell and hurt her arm and then couldn't work. Finding no way out of the serious situation, she took her life and the life of her two daughters. Though many put the blame on our current welfare system for the tragedy, we should reflect, says the bishop, on the fact that our sense of neighbor is disappearing. Who  drove this mother to commit this tragedy? he asks. He can't erase from his thinking, he says, that we are all accomplices for what happened by closing our eyes to the ingrained injustices of society. What is worse, he says, is that we will continue to have many more of these incidents unless we, as a society, resolve to address the issue seriously.

Korea has for the last 8 years been number one in the number of suicides as a developed country. Last year we had, on average, 42 persons who committed  suicide each day. The relationship of poverty and the number of suicides is well established. Surveys have shown that 13 percent of men who are in the lowest 25 percent in income have had thoughts of killing themselves. While only 4 percent of the upper 25 percent had these same thoughts. Among college graduates 7.9 persons in every 100.000 killed themselves. For every 100,000 persons who had only an elementary school education the number was 121. 4 persons. The figures speak for themselves.

One of our maxims reminds us that even the nation is not able to keep a person from poverty, seemingly saying that poverty is not a problem of society but a personal problem of  laziness or stupidity or some serious incompetency; this kind of thinking lies behind many of these maxims, the bishop says. A Christian has a different way of seeing the problem. When we accept everyone as brothers and sisters and work together to eradicate the problem of poverty,  we will be living as members of God's kingdom.

The Power of Words

"When we have many beautiful words being used, we will have a happy society." This headline expresses the opinion of a priest in View from the Ark in the Catholic Times. He reminds us of the last words of Cardinal Kim before he died: "Thank you, I love you." When he heard these words for the first time he considered them too common to give them much attention, but pondering the words now they have taken on a great deal of meaning. Are there any other words that give more warmth and move the heart as much? How many times during the day do we express such feelings? he asks.

The words we use have a great deal of power. People we admire are generally those who have a habit of using positive words and being enthusiastic, frequently using words of hope and encouragement. On the other hand, those who are failures often express grievances and give up, using all kinds of excuses, which the priest believes is not by accident. There is a Chinese proverb: "Good clothes keep a person's body warm and good words keep a person's heart warm." Encouragement, appreciation, praise--all move the heart. "People move toward the direction in which  they are praised" is an expression often heard.  A word of kindness can do a great deal to one living in darkness.

On the opposite side, a word  that is uttered without thought can often scar a person for life.  When we degrade, belittle or abuse another,  we are activating hate within that person and  giving them the strength to retaliate. Nowadays, on the Internet and, particularly on the social networks, there are a great many malicious comments and personal attacks which have contributed to persons killing themselves. The police who have investigated these cases say they have found that those who are sending out the malicious content frequently are innocent young people and adults who have good jobs and are good citizens, but are oblivious to the harm they are doing. This is a standing problem that  society needs to  eradicate, he says.

The words we use express our personality. They convey what is in our heart and mind. With words a wise person manifests their dignity and maintains  good relationships with others. As we continue to cultivate our personalities, he urges us to work to refine the words we use.

It is said that a habit that begins at the  age of three will often continue to be a habit at the age of eighty. Once it becomes a habit, it is difficult to change. That is the reason, he says, parents have the responsibility to teach their children the importance of the words we use. For we can sin with our words, causing harm to ourselves, but to others as well.  

We don't see words with our eyes, the priest reminds us, but they do have shape and can influence lives. Which means we should be responsible for our words, especially true for those in positions of authority, such as politicians who should have the welfare of citizens in mind.  One of our politicians, who repeatedly made the same mistake in his speeches, was forced to resign. A warning to all of us, the priest points out.

Words are like the seed that we plant in the garden. Good words will bear good fruit, and bad words will bear bad fruit. There are few things as easy as uttering words, but we should be mindful that with the ease comes the possibility of easily hurting others. When we use right and caring words, our society becomes a warmer, happier society. Are these thoughts unrealistic? he asks. He hopes not.

The Era of the Religious Brand

Korea has the first academic with a doctorate in matters dealing with the brand names of commercial products, the study and theory behind them and what leads to making them well-known.  His work on brands, how best to develop them into household names, has helped industries to prosper; for his efforts, in 2001, he received a presidential prize.

His recent book The Era of the Religious Brand, reviewed by the Catholic Times, gave Catholicism high marks compared to the other religious brands and he explained why it received such a favorable rating. He compared Catholicism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and Protestantism, according to five evaluation factors: growth, world distribution, stability, identity and activity.

According to this criterion, Catholicism in its spread throughout the world received 25 points, growth 22.5 points, stability 18.6 points, identity 12 points, and activity 13.7 points, with a total score of 91.8--100 being the perfect score.  The author attributes the good showing to the unity, holiness, universality and the manner of its beginning with the Apostles being sent out to spread the gospel. (Islam came next with 84.6, Hinduism 78, Buddhism 66.7, Protestantism 65.9 and Judaism 56.6 points.)

The author, Dr. Kim, points out that gathering information for this study was a very difficult undertaking, since he had nothing to work with. He had to travel both within and outside the country, read many books and meet with specialists in the different religions to come up with his assessments of the various religious brands. Because "brand" is not a word commonly used with religions and is closely connected with the commercial world, he did have qualms about how it would be received.

He hopes that what he has written will enable others to see the scientific reasons for the listing of Catholicism as the number one religious brand. This of course has nothing to do with whether a religion should be considered as having more truth than any other. It is only an external evaluation of religions according to the five different categories the author has selected. It does show, though, that the criteria selected can be successfully used not only to judge a commercial product but to assess how people view the various religions.

The result of this study is no surprise for those who have an interest in religion.  Catholicism is the  world's oldest multinational organization and also the most successful, with over a billion members, millions of employees and volunteers. However, Catholics know this is not the criterion that the founder will use to judge the community of faith that he began. The externals are not what will endear the Church to its founder.