Friday, October 8, 2010
Centering in on Personal Hurts Will Not Solve the Problems.
On the spirituality page of the Catholic Times, a columnist tells us about a man he was acquainted with who asked if he and his wife could have a talk with him. The day before they had a serious argument, and though they lived under the same roof they were far from being husband and wife. When they arrived, they didn't even look at each other.
The columnist sensed right from the beginning that both were trying hard to win him over to their side of the argument, to prove that the fault for their disagreement belonged to the other. If the columnist could only grasp this 'fact,' so each of them thought, then all would be settled.
Although with age, our memory is less reliable, both were able to state their grievances noting exactly the month, the day, and even the time of day they had the argument, and what happened before and after the argument.
When couples are fighting or not talking to each other it is wise to seek out specialists to help resolve their problems. However, knowing what to do with the head and not getting rid of preconceived ideas will shortly return them to where they were. The columnist recommends they both go to the interviewer extraordinaire, our Lord, before they precede to the specialist. When they are able to change the thinking from their own hurt to the hurt they have inflicted on the other the columnist feels the interview will be successful,
It is always good to remember that our actions can have profound consequences that influence, for good or ill, not only ourselves but our children, those we associate with, and the society we live in.