The director of Our Theological Institute in the recent Catholic Times' Eyes of the Believer column gives readers some thoughts on the family community.
These days, when she gets home from work her mother-in-law urges her to turn on the smartphone as soon as possible. She wants to see the baby born to her niece. Eating, playing, sleeping, etc. Even though every day is a repetition of a routine, seeing how a child grows is amazing every time. In an era when getting married and having children is considered a huge burden, seeing your niece and nephew raising a beautiful baby as a parent and starting a family, you can feel the love and joy of life bestowed by God.
On the other hand, while looking around the home of my nephew full of energy, she feels sad seeing the social media posts of a friend who cares for her mother in a nursing home. The friend prays for her mother's death every day as her health deteriorates.
Unlike in the past, when longevity was considered to be a blessing, it is also an era in which a longer lifespan is regarded as a punishment with prolonged physical and mental suffering with no hope of getting better. In particular, it seems that the elderly are more afraid that the painful time that requires someone's care will burden their loved ones. They are also afraid of being left alone in family life. When she sees her friend who carefully watches over and prays for her sick mother, she can feel God's love with her even in times of pain.
She remembers a parishioner who took care of her mother-in-law with Alzheimer's disease for nearly 10 years at home, who couldn't even recognize the people around her. She realizes that it's not about the given relationship or role as a daughter or daughter-in-law, but rather the attitude towards human existence. Even with a caregiver, it wouldn't have been easy to care for a patient at home. However, that sister overcame those difficult times by going to the church and receiving comfort and solace through communion and prayer. This was whenever she felt overwhelmed until her mother-in-law died.
Human life and illness are ultimately things one must face alone, but having someone to accompany you through it can give you the strength to endure that pain. A family shares life's joys, but it is also the closest and most intimate community where one can share the pain with others. However, as I observe various families, I am reminded that these family communities are gradually disappearing. Family relationships also weaken and crumble during times of hardship. We live in a society where it is increasingly difficult to endure even with family.
In Korean society, where the total birth rate in 2022 is 0.78 and single-person households outnumber families consisting of parents and children, it can be easily guessed that the shape and meaning of the family community will change rapidly in the future. It is probably because of these social changes that the ‘Life Partner Act’ was recently proposed. This recognizes various forms of living communities that have nothing to do with marriage or blood ties. It requires society to legally protect them.
In the church, there are concerns that this law will infringe on the uniqueness of the family community, but considering Jesus' words, who wanted intimacy and relationship to expand beyond blood families to the faith family, it is a great way for our society to care for each other. She also hopes it will be a family community.
The elderly are not useless beings who need to be disposed of, but respected with a grateful heart for being who they are and what they have done to build our society. Babies born are not tools to secure our society's future, but precious children who convey the joy of life just by being. Perhaps a society that becomes a family community in which we love and consider our neighbors and immigrants as our brothers and sisters is the meaning of family that Jesus spoke about.
