The Kyeongyang magazine has an article written by one of these men who reaching sixty realized his dependence on liquor and is receiving help at a hospital. With the help of medicine, and his efforts to change his thinking, he feels there will be a change in his destiny.
His religious life became the bedrock from which he began. Peace came to his restless spirit. Up until then, he gave all the blame to his parents for his lot in life. He began drinking and smoking at the age of 16 and developed a strong resentment against his parents and the world. He hated his family and enjoyed the time away from the house. He was beaten, he recalls, by his father for no reason. He remembers his father taking him to a little stream behind the house and shoving his head in the water a number of times; every time he remembers this his whole-body shivers. Study was impossible; he often skipped school, and barely received his graduation certificate.
Age difference between his mother and father was 20 years. His father forced a girl who could have been his daughter as his second wife. He was born the first son of that union and had a brother two years younger. His father's first wife had eight children so altogether it was a family of ten. The father was happy to have a young wife, and although he was not working had his wife go out peddling for income.
His father also had a morbid jealousy of his wife and would often beat her, which added reasons for the dislike he had for his father. The mother wanted to leave her husband, but she had two children and did raise them until adulthood.
On one occasion, he remembers the visit to the first wife's house where his mother was violently attacked by the mother-in-law and first wife in the muddy front yard of the house. He saw all his older sisters and brothers but didn't know them. He and his brother were in the corner huddled together watching what was going on. Seeing the treatment his mother received increased his resentment. His brother had a kindlier disposition and did not have the same resentment he had.
Finally, he left and got married. Not having an education he was helped by his parents with money to begin a business, but since he had no business sense everything he tired failed. He was depressed, couldn't sleep and avoided people but kept his drinking habit.
He agreed to a divorce, and his wife took their 16-year-old son. He hoped to change and get the family back, but although he worked hard, nothing ever turned out the way he expected. Over ten years he was in and out of prisons and was now in confinement in the hospital run by the ministry of Justice: treated for alcohol addiction.
During the time in prison, he followed his religious life sincerely. He finished the course for high school and now on his own learning the art of creative writing. After all those years at the age of sixty, he finally began to realize who he was. He is no longer young and sees himself as just so many rustling leaves on a corn stock with little strength.
He wants to warn others against blaming everything on destiny, and living with resentment. For those like himself, he recommends a religious life, and to quickly find their problem and work to remedy the situation. On his part, he is working on his love for music, and wants to spend the rest of his life in playing the saxophone, and helping others like himself, to begin a new life.
