Surprisingly, the first gospel message we hear about the resurrection is the story of the disciples who did not believe and had doubts, even after seeing the resurrected Jesus. This is not to blame the disciples for their weak faith but to show that faith is something that penetrates our weak human nature and, therefore, often starts weakly. Just because it's Easter doesn't mean that absent faith suddenly materializes. We must remember that the disciples' faith in the resurrection began with an empty tomb. Their faith underwent moments of bewilderment, surprise, and doubt, and it grew as they walked with the Lord, who came to them in their despair, spoke to them, and offered encouragement.
Jesus, walking with his disciples on the road to Emmaus, rebuked them for their unbelief: 'Oh, you foolish ones! Why are you so slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken?' (Luke 24:25). But it didn't end with a rebuke. Jesus explained the Scriptures and reminded them that the suffering and death He endured were not a failure, but a mission that Christ had to fulfill. He also entered homes with his disciples, shared bread with them, and established fellowship. He was kindling the fire of love in the hearts of his disciples, igniting the fire of hope, and enlightening the eyes of faith.
What about our faith? Do we have feelings of frustration and despair like the disciples? Are we living with a dull and hardened heart? Are we living well? Do we believe that all is well? These questions are not meant to blame ourselves but to enable growth. We need to see ourselves as we truly are, without having to conceal our lack of faith.
Our forebears in faith, including the prophets and apostles in the Bible, began with faith as weak as ours and experienced frustration and despair. However, instead of remaining there or giving up, they continued to cling to God to grow in faith, even when it seemed insufficient. On their journey to find God and themselves, they discovered new facets of God and experienced profound internal transformations.
To recognize the power of God in the crucified One, to savor the hope of immortality that transcends frustration, despair, and death, we must embark on this 'paschal journey'—a journey of breaking away from the old self and being reborn anew. We must undergo a transformative process. This is the essence of faith and the truth of life. There is no need to berate ourselves for our lack of faith or to feel disappointed. Just as we learn about life by living it, we learn about faith by living through weak and incomplete faith.
With the resurrection, what if we looked at our lack of faith and presented ourselves to God just as we are? Even if we do not believe in the resurrection or are not elated by it, that does not disqualify us from coming to God—faith cannot be coerced. It would be beneficial to acknowledge our lack of faith and ask the Lord to increase it. In doing so, faith can grow and bear fruit. God does not demand perfect faith. He desires for us to walk with Him and not give up. He wants us to get to know Him by sharing in His story. Along this path, we will discover our calling to holiness and ourselves growing daily."
