The
book is written in the style of letters, written by Olga, a
grandmother, to her teenage granddaughter, Marta, now in the United
States, after living briefly, and unhappily, with Olga, who took her in
after her mother died. Like an autobiography, the book reviews the life
of the grandmother, who examines her life from her early years in an
autocratic family, to being married unhappily to Augusto, her
relationship with a married doctor, Ernesto, his death, and the
unpleasant relationship she had with her daughter Ilaria, Marta's
mother. Olga relates all this very honestly to Marta with all the
passion and pain that went along with it. She explains that Marta's
mother, Ilaria, was not the daughter of Augusto, Olga's husband, but of
the doctor Ernesto, who was the grandmother's lover. She also told Marta
that on the day she confessed the truth to Ilaria, she bolted from the
house, very much distressed and died in an automobile accident that same
afternoon.
The columnist points out that Olga was brought up in a conservative family and that her daughter Ilaria, influenced by her mother, became involved in women rights issues. This also brought conflict into their relationship which later influenced the granddaughter, who was not able to find what was important in life and lived purposelessly. The book shows the conflict that tends to exist between different generations (grandmother, mother, granddaughter) and looks at the 20th century women rights issues, and its woman-to-woman talk about love and truth.
The
grandmother, in her letters to her granddaughter says that
the first thing of importance when wanting to change something--as one
is growing into adulthood--is the need to begin the change from within
oneself. One of the mistakes, she warns, that we often make is to forget
this self-awareness when problems arise, and as we struggle to resolve
them. The grandmother advises her granddaughter that when you are faced
with many paths to choose from and you don't know which to take, don't
take just any path but sit down and take time to think and to listen to
the voice within you. When you hear the voice speaking to you from
inside, that is the voice, she says, you want to follow.
“Who
among us has wept for these things, and things like this? Who has wept
for the deaths of these brothers and sisters? Who has wept for the
people who were on the boat? For the young mothers carrying their
babies? For these men who wanted something to support their families? We
are a society that has forgotten the experience of weeping, of
'suffering with': the globalization of indifference has taken from us
the ability to weep!" These are the words of Pope Francis in his sermon
on the island of Lampedusa, shortly after the boat carrying migrants
from Libya sank, killing 360 who had left their country hoping for a
better life.
The
columnist mentions a retreat she made in which the bishop giving the
retreat used the words of St. Augustine: "Love and and follow the way of
your heart." This is not a subjective teaching, she says, but one that
makes us think of what, ultimately, is our desire and intention. She
thinks this is the difference that has entered the Church with Pope
Francis. Before Francis, people were seeing the problems of society but
not knowing precisely how to express what they were seeing. The Pope is
now showing us how to respond.
There
is no denying that the disputes today in society are getting more
violent: Impetuous, careless words hurled at others we disagree with,
opposing positions, armed with great emotion, intent on forcing their
views on others. And the competitive climate that surrounds any endeavor
contributes to stifle our ability and willingness to reach out to the
other, as does the need to care for ailing parents, the search for
personal fulfillment, while not a few despair about their situation in
life and choose extreme solutions. The need for human sensitivity and
compassion is now being expressed by many voices. The hope we have for
blessings, isn't it related to our God=Love understanding? If we could
follow this 'follow your heart' understanding, as the grandmother
finally came to realize, we would be much closer to living a life that is
truly human.
