An article written by Esther a young woman in the Kyeongyang magazine is entitled: 'You were born to be loved.' She begins telling her readers they will no doubt find what she says strange, but from a very early age she wondered why she was born. She was different from other children. Her father and mother did not live together and she was raised by her grandmother. At that time she thought she was the only one being raised by her grandmother, but later looking back, she realized that this was not uncommon in our society.
As a child she thought it was her fault that her parents separated, and never found other partners.
It would have been better if she had never been born. When people tell her parents to find someone to marry she would get upset and also when her grandmother would complain about her situation and more so when she bad-mouthed her mother.
As she aged this feeling remained with her. Grandmother was always sick, grandfather was an alcoholic and before he died suffered from dementia. As a child there was nothing that she could do. She was a burden on the family. If she was not there, they would not be in such dire straits. Her grades were good but nothing extraordinary. She had no confidence.
At school she was always late in paying for the school meals. Her dark skin made her the object of bullying. She felt that she was not worthy of love. She was afraid of the new. She wanted to be loved but when love was shown she was afraid that it would disappear, and avoided people. The thinking became unconscious, and deep down inside of her the feeling still remains.
This year from the beginning of February she has been teaching catechism to the first and second grade students. She lacks the knowledge that she should have of the Scriptures but when her students call her 'Teacher' and smile at her she is full of thanks and sees all with a great deal of love.
How did God make all these beautiful children? How precious these children are and how happy God must be to see them enjoying life. How can any one not like these little children? If there are such persons they are not part of God's kingdom. God must have had great love for her when she was small. That love must now also be with her. Still, she says the negative feelings are there, and wonders whether they will ever disappear.
She knows that God must love her much more than she loves her students. When these thoughts come to mind it is easy to pray. She is very thankful to these young children who have helped her to have these thoughts about God's love for her. It enables her to spend more effort and time in being a good teacher, and she ends with a heartfelt thanks to God for all that she has learned.
