While studying Korean at the Maryknoll House many years ago we received a visit from a political figure. I remember the one word he used with his driver:
'가' (go) without any amenities. It was on the spot experience, hearing a verb form I hadn't heard in speech until then.
Not qualified to speak about the Korean language in any authoritative way I will simplistically express some thoughts on what I feel is going on when Koreans speak to me. Most will use the honorific ending of a verb when they speak . There is an informal or casual verb ending, which was used by women in Seoul, no longer the case. There is also the root of the verb which would be the informal, intimate or familiar, called in Korean pan mal.
Have heard from many quarters it is not polite to use the root of the verb when we address older people: we should use the honorific. In Korea we have the conflict in the eyes of many between your position in society and the respect we should have for others. Social class would allow one form while polite society would expect another: democratization of Korean Society is still in the making.
Our teacher told us to stay away from using the root of the verb, for the intonation that we give it as foreigners, may come across as being rude and arrogant. She recommended the middle form, which is formal (informal) polite in all cases. For a Korean to use the root of the verb with family , friends and children is taken for granted and is expected, very intimate and familiar. However, when someone addresses me with the root of a verb- pan mal, I cringe. Most of the time I suspect it is a sign that they want to be familiar but I am not Korean enough to accept it in that way.
There are many times when someone will tell me to lower by speech since I am using the honorific, I never do. For me the most difficult to relate to, are children, in a group less so than when I am dealing with one or two. In that case they would expect me to speak in pan mal but I can't manoeuvre with that form with any confidence. The politician mentioned in the beginning was using pan mal and the driver had no difficulty with it. Even today pan mal comes as an unpleasant sound to my ears, because I came to the language late in life.
Language is an important part of whom we are. Many of the problems that we have as missioners have to do with language: the intonation is not quite right, meanings not expressed properly, the non-verbal doesn't fit the words used. Koreans are quick to grasp the situation. This makes our life always interesting and gives us plenty of material to reflect on during our prayer life.
