In our present society pride is rampant: a feeling of one's extreme importance, exaggerating one's accomplishments and abilities, a desire to receive acclaim. It's often seen in our leaders and accepted as a necessary 'virtuous trait' of a capable leader. It is not always easy to distinguish between a healthy dignity and unhealthy pride. The pride that controls us, we call in psychological language narcissism.
Those who are in search of worldly values are not the only ones where we find narcissism. Also, we see it with those who are fastidious in their feelings of superiority in the acquisition of virtue and laud it over others. When they don't reach their goal they condemn those who don't meet their expectations and lack toleration and understanding. They devalue others and don't realize how far they are from virtue. In the Christian tradition, pride was considered the queen of the vices.
In describing personality often we use the words humble and honest. The meanings are different but they point to a similar quality. They both hate pretense and search for justice and avoid luxury and a self-indulgent lifestyle. There are many different personality types depending on those who make the studies, the writer selects the following six: Honesty-Humility, Emotionality, Extroversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, and Openness to Experience.
From way back in history in Far East Asia, humility was an important virtue. Lowering oneself and raising the other was the attitude of the gentleman. We have thrown away the virtue. Making money and social position are the opposite of poverty and simplicity.
Heinz Kohut an American psychoanalyst is quoted as saying to break the hold that narcissism has, one needs to silently accept the pain and acknowledge and understand narcissism. How many are able to accept that pain? Enduring the uncomfortableness of unhealthy self-love, makes it easy to tear down others and build up their own lying self. Shamelessly deceiving themselves and hiding in that self-made illusion.
What can we do to make sure humility does not disappear from the face of the earth? He recommends when we meet the humble and can do it with joy, we should secretly help them. Help them without anybody knowing even the individual.
We have more people who are making themselves known in our society. Bluster, pride, boasting but we also have those who shine like jewels. Those who are in the low seats need to be raised. The rest of us need to raise them without any fanfare and unbeknown to all.
