At meals, the places next to him were always for the latecomers. When we went out as a group, the car that Paul drove would be the last filled. Why was everybody avoiding Paul who was doing his best? She soon found out.
One day, engaged in small talk with a group of friends, where English was not the mother tongue; yet the conversation was lively, heart to heart and wonderfully sympathetic. Paul suddenly entered the conversation and looking at each one of them pointed out were the pronunciation, grammar or context was not correct. The atmosphere of the group turned cold and the expressions on their faces hardened. From that time on, the writer also avoided Paul.
She was nervous when she sat down and Paul was present. When she spoke, she was more concerned about how she was speaking than what she wanted to communicate. He only knew sentences that were correctly formed. She had no hate in her heart for Paul but it was uncomfortable communicating with him.
She reflected watching Paul: "Does Paul know the uncomfortable feelings he is arousing in his listeners?" Paul did not care about the reaction and feelings of others. She found this a mystery.
Was Paul a free man who doesn't worry about what people think? Paul, she says, was trapped in his own world. Rather than being free from other people's feelings and reactions he had stopped them from entering his thoughts.
A truly free person feels the gaze and feelings of others but doesn't react to them. Freedom is not just what I like, but also concerned about what others do not like. Above all, a free person is not afraid to reveal their own mind. I know where my mind is and want to communicate it with my heart. Communication between persons is transmitted not only by words but by the heart.
Paul seemed to ignore his feelings. Someone told him: "I am talking to you now, and you lecture me?" He was given a stinging rebuke but you would never guess this by the expression on his face. Paul hearing the complaint and the person making the complaint seemed to be separated like water and oil. Paul was not able to communicate with those he was living. They praised Paul's sincere and honest behavior but something was seriously missing.
St. Don Bosco said: one of the greatest goods is to achieve a meeting of hearts between people. Only one's heart is able to speak to another person's heart. Sadly, in our world, we have many who are 'tone deaf'— insensitive to the feelings of others, not concerned to change, or feel a need to change.
