In the writers experience it is not a matter of what comes first but it's determined by the situation and person. One loves, it seems, as much as one knows. One may lose hope after knowing, not grow in love, but you will grow in understanding.
According to the writer it seems that loving allows you to know, more than knowing allows you to love. Loving another person— liking another—one desires to know more about the person. Since you are already one with the person your efforts to know would not be a burden and you overcome the uncertainty that arises easily.
Listening seems to be an easy task but it requires heroic virtue. Jesus often said those who have ears and eyes, he saw them as one, without an open heart they will not function correctly. When our hearts are filled with other thoughts our listening decreases and our vision is limited. If we recall those who walk while looking at their smart phones we will understand.
When we are set in our ways we will have ears only for confirmation bias. When we hate or dislike, it is difficult to hear or see. Only when our hearts are soft and full of mercy will our eyes and ears do their job.
We know that doing something with another at the same time and place, the experience is different. The situation may be similar but it is not the same. Consequently each person's life is unique.We can't divide it into superior or inferior. Because a person doesn't speak of their inner spiritual life doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The difference is mostly about those who elegantly express their inner life and those who do it unskillfully.
The writer has attended 10 different listening sessions and all expressed themselves differently but it all came from a deep faith life. All the believers have different degrees of faith life but the capability of comprehending is equal.
In the eyes of God we are all equal but live in a world that is unequal. Consequently we differentiate ourselves into the different social classes in which society places us—upper class down to the poor. Even within the Church, the People of God, we have differentiated levels. It is said that one of the expressions of difference that emerges from such a culture is in hearing. To say we listen often in a vertical relationship and not a horizontal one is quite charitable.
In such a society, listening is inevitably a formality. It is a task that requires deliberate effort, not waiting for it to happen on its own. Effort must continually be made to hear that will develop into listening. Since we live in a class society the coming together in some way of the upper and lower classes requires first effort on the upper classes to listen. It is natural that in the beginning stage many uncomfortable and harsh words will be exchanged causing the participants to close their ears but this has to be experienced and overcome for the group to come to a point of listening and dialog.
For believers we need to have trust in the Holy Spirit that we will hear what we need to in this time in which we live.
