An article in Bible & Life begins with a sentence the writer, a novelist, saw on TV: "I don't want to do anything. I have not been doing anything, and don't want to do anything, but more in earnest." These words bring a smirk to our face, and at the same time fragmentarily show us how we are overcome by lethargy, and a coercive feeling in search of leisure. All is annoying; one has little drive and energy. This kind of doing nothing is, not what is meant by leisure. Rest is when tiredness of the body and spirit is relieved, and we are at peace. Many are looking for leisure, but it is not the kind that gives rest to the spirit. We have a fear of rest, and this fear is spreading in society. When alone we are not recollected. When our surroundings are quiet our internal condition is noisy. The situation throughout the world finds its place in us. We are impatient, and instead of contemplation and examination, worry and anguish seethe within us. When my thoughts and spirit are not mine, life is also not mine.
"Knowing ourselves we know everything." These words of Gandhi, the more we think of them the more frightening they become. Expressing them differently: if we don't know ourselves, we know nothing. It doesn't matter how many wise words of the sages we know if we don't know ourselves we are building castles in the sky, and all becomes empty.
Even if we don't know ourselves at least we need to make the effort to get to know ourselves, and to talk with ourselves. However, many fear this time alone. When being alone more than the loneliness, fear should be our concern. Need for others can be an addiction, when we need others to verify ourselves.
He doesn't enjoy the writing as much as he did at the beginning but when we lose something, we also gain something. He has more time to think of what is important, and to get to know himself. More than criticizing others he spends more time with himself. He doesn't criticize, and sees us all as weak, and foolish creatures.
When I get to know myself, I can forgive myself. I am a person with scars, hating myself, hesitant in loving myself, comparing myself with others, and falling short. However, one day surprisingly, he hugs himself, and becomes friends with himself. He considers the lofty idealism and virtues of the saints, and although weak and limited, he forgives himself, and is this not the reason he becomes happy?
No word appeals to him like the word peace. No word is so beautiful and unflappable. More than wide it is deep, more than high it is low, He wants to lower the anchor into this deep and low place. Even if all are deceived, he will not be deceived, he shows his unpainted face his transparency, and gets rid of his fears.
