Jean Vanier is a Canadian Catholic, philosopher, theologian and humanitarian. He founded L'Arche for persons with developmental disabilities and later co-founded the Faith and Light movement which works also with the families and friends of persons with developmental disabilities. He continues to live with members of the community in France.
1) Accept the reality of your body
One needs to be at ease with his body. We are born in weakness. I am ninety. I am not fifty, or forty this I have to accept.
2) Talk about your emotions and difficulties Men have difficulty speaking about their emotions.
3) Don't be afraid of not being successful
You have to discover you are beautiful as you are regardless of whether or not you are successful.
4) In a relationship, take the time to ask "How are you?" Has he married his success in work, or has he married his wife? What is the most important? Is it to grow up the ladder in promotion?
5) Stop looking at your phone. Be present! To young people he says, "You are people of communication." But then he asks, "Are you people of presence? Are you able to listen? To be human is to know how to relate."
6) Ask people "What is your story?
Vanier emphasizes the importance of relating to people and listening to them. He says, "To meet is to listen: Tell me your story? Tell me where your pain is? tell me where your heart is? What are the things you desire? I need to listen to you because your story is different from my story"
7) Be aware of your own story
"You are precious. You have your ideas: political, religious, non-religious, you have your vision for the world, your vision for yourself," says Vanier. He acknowledges that when we fear our identities, worldviews, and cherished opinions are being taken away from us we are liable to become angry. He adds, "we have to discover where our fears are because that is the fundamental problem."He asks, "Maybe in your story, there is a story about fear?"
8) Stop prejudice: meet people
“The big thing about being human is to meet people.” We need to “meet people who are different” and “discover that the other person is beautiful.”
9) Listen to your deepest desire and listen to it
“We are very different from birds and dogs. Animals are very different.” He says that unlike with animals there is a “sort of cry of the infinite within us. We’re not satisfied with the finite.” He asks, “Where is your greatest desire?”
10) Remember that you'll die one day “I’m not the one who’s the king of the world and I’m certainly not God,” says Vanier. “I’m just somebody who was born ninety years ago and will die in a few years time and then everybody will have forgotten me. This is reality. We’re all here, but we are just local people, passengers on a journey. We get onto the train, we get out of the train, the train goes on.”
