A Religious Sister working with the elderly tells them to put down their worries in her spirituality column in the Catholic Peace Weekly.
The long-term care insurance system was implemented, and nursing homes were transformed into competitive structures. The facilities are well-equipped and the types of services are diverse, so there are many positive factors. Nevertheless, the faces of the elderly in nursing homes do not express joy.
Compared to living alone, three meals are provided at the correct time, nutrition is a concern, bath service is provided regularly, and programs are prepared for each hour. Among the many rights that people need to live like human beings, how many do elderly people living in nursing homes enjoy?
Let's think in terms of the right to self-determination. When you go to a nursing home for admission counseling, it has become customary for most nursing homes to provide information to their guardians rather than to the elderly who will be living there, and the guardians to sign a contract if they are satisfied with the conditions. Perhaps, for the elderly, a nursing home is the last place of life in this world, so they want to pay more attention to it, but their own decision or concerns are not taken into account. Upon entering the facility if you do not eat well and do not follow the timetable, you may be stigmatized as a difficult old person who cannot adapt.
The moment they enter a nursing home, the elderly feel depressed because they think their children have abandoned them. An old person who wants to live alone in a harsh environment says: "Even if I have to live on kimchi, being able to eat when I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep, and go where I want to go is the greatest freedom and happiness."
Elderly people say that the most unbearable pain is ‘loneliness’. There is no one to talk to, and even when there are those present to talk to, some feel guilty for wasting their time. In order to soothe loneliness, some of the elderly say that time is a pain because they go out into the empty parking lot and walk the same path over and over again.
According to the National Statistical Office, the average age is 83.5 years and the healthy life expectancy is 66.3 years. A healthy lifespan refers to the age at which a person can live a healthy life without the help of others. Subtracting the healthy lifespan from the average lifespan yields the result that 17 years must be lived with someone's help. Since 17 years, which is not short by any means, can come as a pain, material preparation for old age is important, and extending a healthy lifespan is more important than anything else.
Stress management and exercise are essential to extending a healthy lifespan. However, the elderly say that it is difficult to put down their impatience in worrying about their children and grandchildren. We know from experience that the more we worry, the habit just continues to grow. It is said that only 5% are things you need to worry about the other 95% are not. How many children will thank you for worrying about them? Most children want and hope that their parents will put their worries down and put them at ease.
They say that the older you get, the more stubborn you become. Children complain that their parents do not listen to them no matter how much they try. When the Sister was growing up, she heard the saying: "If you listen to your parents, you will eat rice cakes even while sleeping," but as you get older, the children say: "If you listen to your children, you will grow old and strong." If your children buy you clothes, don't refuse them saying that you're old and don't have much time left to wear them, and accepting their children's affection will be one way to actively live your old age in peace.
She hopes you will put down the worries you have had all your life and enjoy the peace of old age.
