In one of the cities in Korea a few years ago there were two successive suicides of children jumping off apartment buildings. Thinking of the classmates of these children the doctor had to do something, he took members of the children's mental health center, and went to the school. He looked at the girl who sat in the seat behind the child who committed suicide; her head was down, completely dispirited. He was sorry for those who had died but had more of a need to be with the living. After the period of mourning he did make it clear to the students, it was alright to laugh.
The coal briquet suicide of a mother with a brain tumor, and her two daughters were found dead by a middle school teacher. The doctor mentions that the teacher after a shower and changing his clothes, the smell of the coal briquet remained with him while teaching, he couldn't hold back the tears. The doctor told the teacher, it was a good lesson for his students. And reminded him that smell is the most sensitive of our senses.
The doctor was five weeks at the school that lost so many students in the Sewol tragedy; they wondered if the school would ever open again, but the doctor had trust in the strength and resiliency of the students.
On one occasion helping to heal persons who were sexually abused one of them: "Doctor have you ever been sexually abused? If you have never been abused how can you understand me?" These words were like a chisel at the heart. He felt lonely and heartbroken; this feeling came back again when he was asked if he had ever lost, unexpectedly 250 younger classmates?
Empathy, he says, has to have both the emotional and the cognitive operating together. With trauma, the emotional faculty is so strong that it silences the thinking brain.The doctor believes more than learning the different formulas of mathematics and another English word; it is important to have social and emotional learning: skills to manage emotions, show sympathy for others, and make responsible decisions. When our emotional faculty is in order the cognitive will naturally do what is necessary.
He finishes the article with sadness that this was not part of the training of those in the Sewol Ferry. If the students had been exposed to 'social-emotional learning' when the loud speakers told them to remain in their cabin, and they realized this was a question about life and death, they would have acted differently, and the adults would not have put their safety first.
The last words are not to criticize, he says, we need to understand others. The Sewol tragedy is happening around us continually. We need to have a love for others. He brings Cardinal Kim to our attention with his kind smile. He misses the Cardinal. The Cardinal "wanted to give more people more happiness' and the doctor would like that energy, to enter our sterile society to give life.
