The parents of a middle school student were having serious problems with their son's behavior. The father scolded and punished the son but it only made matters worse. The mother did a lot of shouting but only to have him shouting louder.
The father decided to send his son to his younger brother, a priest. He stayed with him for 10 days; during that time not once did the uncle raise his voice or show disapproval of his actions. The nephew was in high spirits, his room was a mess and filling up with trash. He did whatever he wanted. The uncle watched every move the nephew was making.
On the 10th day when the nephew was preparing to go home the uncle put the sneakers on the nephew and tied the strings bowing his head. The tears of the uncle fell on the strings of the sneaker. The nephew surprised by the tears looked into the eyes of the uncle and the uncle into the eyes of the nephew and said: "I only wish that you would live well." The nephew's strange behavior changed.
No one gets angry for the sake of anger. One gets angry because deep down inside peace is sought. The person wants to live at peace. It's a choice of emotion to achieve peace. The object is peace and not anger.
The object of the anger of the parents was to live in peace; the object of the uncle's tears was also the peace of the nephew. The parents forgot the object and focused on the means the uncle focused on the object and selected tears. That was the difference.
Anger is a way of achieving our desire. The means can be violent or non-violent. The parents expressed the means with violence, the priest by non-violent means. Usually shown by words, with cold reason or hot anger.
When anger arises if we remind ourselves that we are looking for peace and repeat the word peace it will help deflate the anger. I am reminding myself that it is peace that I want. The object of anger is always peace. Consequently, anger can be a great means to achieve peace. Good anger will give rise to good peace.
Peace in Anger. A person who has put peace within anger is mature. Be a person of peace.
