Recently, Koreans use the words gold spoon and earth spoons to describes a person's upbringing with plenty of this world's goods or their lack. Are you happy? Is it because of a comfortable lifestyle or happiness despite the difficult life lived?
An article in Bible and Life by the leader of the 'Handanfamily' Happiness Center reminds her readers that it is not easy to match those who are happy in life with the material comfortableness they experienced in growing up or its lack. Her experience in counselling has shown that wealth and honor does not make life easy for many. They grumble and struggle. They resent their parents, hate their spouses and are pessimistic about life. What in the world makes their life so difficult? It's all somebodies' fault. They are wealthy but their emotional life is a mess.Often it was trying to fill the wishes of the parents never achieved, and in the process damaged was the attachment to the parents.
Many have been brought up with the earth spoon but they are not upset by the surrounding environment and have a peaceful disposition and a positive outlook on life. They have experienced the attachment to their parents and an empty bankbook does not disturb their enjoyment of life.
Countless studies have shown that it's not what we are born with but the way the child faced life that makes all the difference. Attachment to the parents is what goes beyond time and space and is the tie with the parents that make the difference. The writer mentions 5 things the child needs to receive from the parents: a love nest, care, naturing, support, direction. When they are not received you have damage to attachment. Today we have parents subletting their tasks to others.
Science has shown that it takes about 4 people to raise a child.With the break down of the extended family in Korea, we no longer have those who can help raising the children. This is what will determine the happiness and direction of a child. Many are motivated to raise a successful, bright, famous personality and forget the most important attribute is joy of life.
The writer concludes her article by mentioning that she believes all children have the seed for happiness at birth. Parents are there to help the child develop this bud. They are helped in this by relationships within the family, with contacts outside of the family but the important element is attachment. She wants all the children to have a gold spoon emotional life. This comes with attachement. Attachment is the beginning of love and the beginning of happiness.
