The Catholic Times in its column View from the Ark gives the readers some thoughts on equality in the Church from a professor in research on women's issues.
She begins by mentioning a man who was proud that his wife was such a good cook. He is a hard-working middle-aged man who supports his family. He loves his children and tries to spend time with his family. However, he felt burdened by the situation because he did not know how to cook anything besides noodles when his wife was visiting her parents' home and he had to take responsibility for the children's meals. So he ate out or ordered food. She advised him to learn how to cook, and she emphasized that she was not saying that he should be a great cook, but needed survival skills through simple dishes such as rice and soup. He didn't mind cleaning the house but he didn't want to cook. Since he supported his family, he seemed to think that he did not need to learn how to cook.
She hasn't seen him in years. When she saw him again recently he told her that his family had been going out to eat on the weekends lately because his wife didn't want to cook. He thought his wife's food was the best, but he felt uncomfortable when his wife didn't want to cook. But he never thought about learning how to cook. Since food delivery has increased and become more common since the pandemic, he may not necessarily need to learn how to cook.
Although women's higher education and economic participation rates are increasing, women are still the cooks in the home. If the reason men want to get married is because they have a fantasy of eating the food prepared by their wives, this may not be so easily achieved in the future. And some men think that because their wives are good at cooking, they don't need to cook.
For a while, male chefs appeared on entertainment programs and gained popularity. Although men are respected as experts, women cook at home as part of their gender role. Women cook for their families even when they don't feel like eating or cooking. Women do this out of love for their families. However, when sick and not able to give the family the help they were accustomed to they are fortunate that they can buy packaged food and porridge for the family.
Chizuko Ueno, a Japanese sociologist and feminist scholar, discusses the old age of single men in "A Single Afternoon" (2014, Real Culture). The reasons why men become single in old age are diverse, including non-marriage, divorce, and widowhood. She says that unmarried men know how to take care of themselves and run a household, so it's not that much of a problem. However, she says that men who are divorced or widowed find it difficult to live independently, so they express discomfort and difficulties after divorce or widowhood and want to remarry. Local governments in Korea are holding cooking classes for retired men. Men learn cooking as a hobby and survival skills.
She can give gifts if she wants and not give them if she doesn’t. Also, the reason for giving gifts is to make the person receiving the gift happy. But the role of the wife as a cook is not like that. It is a duty that she has to perform regardless of her will, and if she does it well, she gets what she deserves, and if not done well may be criticized.
The gender division of labor imposed gender roles on men to earn money for their families and on women to take care of their families. However, due to gender roles, women had to reduce or give up work to take care of their families and had difficulty achieving economic independence. These roles are not a fair division of labor. A clear example of this is women who are dual-income couples devote more time and energy to housework and care.
Similar to society's gender role expectations, female believers perform gender roles during church events. We all participate actively in the communion service which helps with communication and bonding. But, "Come for a meal after mass." She cannot respond with joy to the district leader’s invitation. In most cases, it is only the women who work in the preparation of the meal.
She hopes that the parish will become a space where gender roles are more flexible, with male believers also participating in meal preparation for the community.
