Saturday, December 29, 2012

Something to Think About

Because the relationship between husband and wife is so close, it's not surprising that they can be easily hurt by the words they say to each other. The words that tend to cause hurt feelings depend, according to the priest-columnist of the Peace Weekly, on the biological differences between male and female. In his weekly column on happiness, he explores the effect of our gender differences on a couple's happiness.  Whether this is mostly myth is the reader's choice to make; it does make for interesting reading.

In the male, speech is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain; in the female both the left and right hemisphere control speech. When the left hemisphere  of the brain in both the male and female is damaged, as sometimes happens in a violent accident, the male loses his ability to speak, the female does not.

From the time of creation God made man to speak 10,000 words a day while the woman was made to speak 25,000 words, says the columnist.  Let us suppose, says the columnist, that during the day both the husband and wife, at work or in the home, have spoken 10,000 words. Then that evening when they are together, let us also suppose that the husband doesn't want to talk anymore while the wife still has 15,000 words she wants to share with him. It's easy to understand why the woman becomes frustrated, believing that he simply does not want to talk.

Continuing with the gender differences as they manifest in our everyday behaviors, the columnist says the male can do only one thing at a time while the female can do many things. The woman while active doing something, let's say cooking, can also do a number of other things, like listening to what is being said, talking on the telephone, among other things; the man, supposedly, can do only one thing at a time. He says the woman's sight is also more developed than the man's, distinguishing more colors.  When a couple goes shopping for clothes, determining what goes with what is often a contentious issue. The woman also has better visual memory than a man's. At any large gathering of people, the man will remember only a few of those he meets, the woman will remember many. The man also loses more of his hearing ability than the woman.

The woman, however, finds it more difficult to follow directions. And with age the woman loses spacial cognitive abilities.This is something husbands would do well to remember, he advises.

Man's skin is four times the thickness of the woman's. She, however, has more fat which allows her to endure the cold better than the man. However, with age she shows her age quicker than the male because of her thinner skin.

The woman's senses are also more acute and she is more emotional. When the husband is sick she often begins her caring efforts with words of comfort and then prepares the medicines and food. When the wife is sick many husbands do not know what to do. He is often less perceptive of what his wife is feeling, sometimes only noticing his wife's anger after the instigating situation has passed. With a husband whose senses are dull, and a wife who is very sensitive, there is bound to be conflict.

The obvious consequence of these gender differences for a man and a woman living together is likely to be unhappiness, unless, says the columnist, the couple learn to accept the differences between the sexes, and refuse to make them into an obstacle in achieving happiness together.  Once this is accomplished, a beautiful harmony becomes possible, with the man and the woman taking turns deferring to the other in areas where the other is more competent.