At the end of the meal, however, while the husband went to the restroom, she told the priest that the next time he visited she wants him to meet with them separately. The meal ended with the wife's bitter words ringing in the ears of the old family friend. He told the columnist that no matter how long a couple have been together, and how many good things were done, just one serious incident that one of the spouses hated would be enough to cause a great deal of trouble.
The columnist notes that when loving someone, we always want to do good by that person, to make them happy. And when the person loved enjoys the same things as the person loving, then great blessings come to both. However, he reminds us that, more important than making positive efforts in doing what the loved one enjoys, is to refrain from doing what they dislike. Such efforts, he feels, will enable one to show more interest and care for the loved one.
Though it is understood that the lover usually loves in his own unique manner, it is important to love in a manner, the columnist says, that is acceptable to the one being loved. When one knows what the loved one dislikes, great effort must be made to avoid doing what the other dislikes, which will develop trust and foster love.
If there is someone we love now, he suggests that we refrain from doing what they dislike. But it must be mutual. When only one party to the relationship makes the effort to refrain from doing what the other dislikes, the lack of trust will take its toll and the relationship will break down.