Marriages in Korea do no better than any other part of the world. Last year Korea was listed as number 8th in the list of countries with the most divorces. The efforts of the Church to stem the tide is ongoing with movements, literature, and efforts to educate parishioners. One of the diocesan bulletins is running a series of articles on understanding the problems in marriages, and offering solutions.
There are many commonly held ideas about
marriage while common are not helpful. An aspect that is basic to all
of them is trying to change the other. When we achieve this, problems
will disappear but they don't. We look for the answers outside of
What is important is to change ourselves.
These wrong notions that we have about marriage make finding the
solutions more difficult.The wrong headed ideas:
1) Both have to change.
2) Working hard to change the partner.
3) My partner is every thing.
4) My partner has to satisfy all my wants.
5) Marriage does not require a great deal of work.
6) Efforts continue with no change.
7) Love is in the feelings.
8) Ideal love is outside marriage.
9) My parent's marriage went smoothly so will my marriage.
10) Great change is required for a good marriage.
relationship of husband and wife is the most important relationship in
the family. When this is healthy the other relationships grow. Children
learn from this relationship: the values that make for a happy life and
the way they will see the world. After children are born often the
concern is for the children. The couple's relationship becomes less
important, and ignored, will surface again after the children leave. The
estrangement will appear in their awkward relationship: silence and
avoidance will just make the bond more difficult. This relationship will leave scars on the children that will last a lifetime. This reality is well know by most parents,
and a prod to nurture the love they have promised
each other. A precious gift to the children.