Saturday, June 6, 2015
"In the past he was very docile." "When I am ready to talk, she refuses to listen." "I am afraid of my child, he no longer acts like my child." These are some of the comments that a teacher working in the education of teachers receives. She writes about it in the Kyeongyang magazine.
Children with emotional instability are not only difficult to discipline, but also to rear. Children who have control over their emotions find it a help in their school work, and in relating with others. Many parents do not realize this often depends on the educational methods used by parents.
Parents give the education of their children over to others, and make known they are sacrificing to earn the money for this to happen. Parents educate by giving the children what they need, giving spending money, taking them to the academies and schools, preparing them for marriage, buying their house and taking care of the grandchildren. Nothing is demanded of the children who stand aside with hands folded. Dialogue is not included but orders instructions, and scolding.
What are your ways of dealing with the children? Learning to respect the children's emotions is important; need to familiarize yourself with the disposition of the child. 40 percent of the children are passive: they obey readily and don't complain but often they have internal problems such as stress, and depression because of the pressure and control of the parents. 10 percent of the children are anti-structural, and are a problem for the parents, but here also a need to understand them,and work in their development. 15 percent of the children are slow. Watching and waiting, they are slow to do anything at first, but once they start they stick to it.
In Korea two hospitals that do well are those dealing with cosmetic surgery and children with mental problems. Children that are not able to say what they want, and those whose emotions are not respected will have mental problems; to prevent this from happening the need to get close to the children and allow them to express their feelings. Parents need to understand the children's emotions, sympathize with the children, help them to express their emotions and resolve them.
She concludes the article by noting that children do not need the parents to do everything for them or to give their educational responsibility to others, but to do things together. More time at the table and by the bed to learn the children's way of seeing the world. This prevents revenge towards the parents by the children. Parents should be travelers with the children, help them find their motives for action, and be a trusted follow traveler.