Thursday, December 1, 2016
Growing in Married Love
Living together in marriage becomes more difficult with the passage of time. Few were the problems at the start of married life but they developed over the years. They were present but didn't appear until later. A college professor mentions his growth in married life in a Catholic Times article.
He gives us the example of putting socks in the washing basket and putting clothes in the clothes' closet. They are very insignificant tasks. However, they can be reasons for friction between the couple.
In time they began to mention the issues that irritated them. Why do you do it that way? After hearing the words of scolding and no noticeable change the words cease but the irritation remains. Usually, habits carried from childhood difficult to change.
On his part, he has a habit of opening cabinet doors and the rice cooker lid and not closing them. His wife: "Good heavens once you open a door you need to close it. Why do you continually forget to close the doors?"
On the other hand, his wife has a habit of putting her clothes on door knobs and on the back of chairs. He likes a neat room and this bothers him. "How come, aren't we to put clothes in the closet why do you continue to hang your clothes here and there?"
These are some of the areas in which they both had problems with the other. It's a failure to put oneself in the other person's shoes. We understand that we are different with the head but it doesn't register with the heart.
As the years pass they no longer are a problem, no words are exchanged and each of them will make up for what the other lacks. If he leaves the door of the cabinets ajar she without any comment will close the doors and he will without words take the clothes he finds on the door knobs or chairs and puts them in the closets.
With this way of thinking, they both are concerned with the others life and schedule and help each other to remember what is to be done. They become managers for each other. It is not only celebrities and the famous that have managers but they have found this way of working together with profit for each of them.
Korean culture is influenced by Confucianism. In this article, we see that it is not all pervasive in society. We have other influences which also spread within society. Christianity has changed many of the old cultural ways. Patriarchy is no longer what it was.