"I am Having a Hard Time"

 

One Mind One Body Suicide Prevention Center priest columnist of the Catholic Times mentions the society where it is difficult to say: “I am having a hard time.” He is the director of Spirituality in the Department of a Catholic Hospital.
 
A famous broadcaster publicly revealed that he suffers from panic disorder. Until then, panic disorder was unknown to the public and was only seen as an excuse for people trying to avoid social responsibility, but after that incident, the columnist became interested in what panic disorder entailed and the pain experienced.
 
As a result, awareness of panic disorder changed and patients who had previously been unable to reveal themselves in public were able to reveal themselves one by one. They say that although their situation has not changed, people's perception has changed and just being recognized can provide comfort.
 
The number of suicides in our society exceeds 13,000 every year, and this number has steadily increased since the IMF. The pain of suicide does not end with the death of the suicide but has a huge impact on those left behind. When a person commits suicide, there are about 20 family members who are emotionally connected around them, and these people are called 'suicide bereaved family members'.
 
It is estimated that about 200,000 suicide bereaved families will occur each year alone, and looking at the cumulative number each year, it can be inferred that the entire Korean society is becoming a huge bereaved family society. However, despite this large number, it is difficult to find suicide-bereaved families. Suicide is not something we can easily speak about in our society.
 
Family members bereaved by suicide are unable to recognize the pain of someone close to them and feel shame and guilt about not being able to foresee the death, which makes it difficult for them to reveal it to those around them. There are cases where the death is not even made known within the family.
 
At the same time, conflicting feelings of betrayal and anger arise towards the deceased who caused such pain, and these complex and contradictory feelings make it even more difficult to bring the subject up in conversation. Moreover, there is an added social stigma that sees suicide survivors as problematic people, causing them to experience the pain of enduring everything alone. Even family members hesitate to approach each other after a suicide and their relationship becomes distant, and this isolation also puts the bereaved family in further danger.
 

In English-speaking countries, survivors of suicide are called 'suicide survivors'. However, these days, many people appear to be fine to others, but inside they feel an unbearable loneliness, and the pain repeats over and over again, They become numb and find it difficult to even utter the words, “I’m having a hard time.” I even worry that if I say it's difficult, I might make things difficult for the listeners.
 
Then, after facing great difficulties, there are so many people who cannot find anyone and endure everything alone, collapsing and having to make the final decision alone. Has it become a courtesy and a virtue in this era to pretend that it is not difficult even though the situation is already unbearable?
 
 Even if it's difficult to solve it right now, how great would it be if we could create a social atmosphere where people could just say: "I'm really having a hard time," and those around them would listen carefully to those words? If we can’t even do that, we might all be ‘suicide survivors’.