The Power of Listening

The Catholic Peace Weekly in an article on listening written by a priest with a doctoral degree in pastoral theology and working in formation gives us some important insights on listening. 

We often need to remember that listening is much harder than speaking, and the reasons are many. If we don't respect the person we will not have the necessary attention to listen. It takes 3 years to become proficient in speaking, but 60 years to become proficient in listening. 

The attitude of listening and dialogue requested during the synod process is ‘to be more open to the voices of not only those that think differently from us but also those who we easily ignore and exclude.’ It is difficult to accept that we must listen even to people we do not want to talk to.

“Strong copy can grab consumers’ attention, but it’s not enough to get them to make a purchase.” It is possible to get people to accept the importance of listening, but it seems that a certain level of preparation is needed. 

First, experience improving relationships with others through listening. It would be good to learn listening skills step by step, but first, listen sincerely to what others are saying. It would be a good idea to first experience the power of listening through this process. When the other person feels that they are truly listening to my voice, their attitude toward me will change. [listening to gain hearts” (以聽得心) is not easy for those who think they are doing well.]

First of all, listen sincerely to the other person’s voice. At some point, you will feel that the other person's voice toward you has become softer. Experience the power of listening. Listening is not just listening to what the other person says, but also examining what the other person is trying to convey even though he or she did not express it verbally, and providing feedback to the other person.

Even if we know what we need, it takes a certain amount of time and effort to prepare ourselves. For example, people want to lose weight. Some choose extreme weight loss methods with little thought and  rarely succeed. People who have confidence in weight management by reducing overeating and increasing exercise time daily seem to be relatively successful in managing their weight. The same goes for listening. As you accumulate daily experiences of listening, you will gain the power to be willing to listen to the other person's words even if they are difficult. 

Not long ago, the writer came across the story of a person who started a new life by practicing listening and improving his relationships with people around him. There was a time when he evaluated himself as an inferior being. Then he happened to read a book, without any special content. However, just by listening and responding to the stories of people around him as suggested in the book, he was able to feel that his attitude toward himself was changing, and  confesses that this change became the starting point for living his life more actively.

Listening is more than just listening. It requires patience and effort to focus on the other person's voice. Even if you make an effort to listen, if the other person shows a wary attitude toward you, it will be difficult to continue your listening attitude. Nevertheless, the Synod emphasizes dialogue of listening, sincerely listening to the other person's story. The synod's demand that we listen to the voices of those we wish to ignore and exclude seems unrealistic. However, if the changes in relationships that occur through listening are helpful for the other person and ourselves, it is worth trying at least once. Let's Listen!