Friday, June 6, 2025

Comparisons are Odious

The Catholic Peace Weekly's Preciousness of Faith column by a seminary professor reminds us that comparisons are not a healthy expenditure of time.  

Is there anyone who has never felt hate toward someone? Hatred is a universal emotion. We develop hatred without even realizing it, and that emotion makes us uncomfortable. Since we live our lives with others, the feeling of hatred is a significant issue.

Why do people develop hatred? Why do we have to suffer from hatred that arises regardless of our will, and why do we have to have uncomfortable relationships with others? What should we do about the feeling of hatred that we cannot control?

If we open the Bible and take a quick look, hatred appears to be a fundamental issue. Cain hated his younger brother Abel so much that he killed him. Jacob’s sons thought their father favored Joseph, the youngest, and could not speak to him properly because of their hatred. 

Jesus was also well aware of hatred and the suffering it causes. However, He gave us the commandment to love our enemies, which seems unrealistic (Matthew 5:43). What should we do with the unavoidable feeling of hate and Jesus’ commandment to love our enemies?

First, we need to acknowledge that hatred is a universal emotion. Can we comfort ourselves by saying that all humans, therefore, are bound to feel hatred? In other words, hatred is a natural phenomenon that all can experience. He is not suggesting that we glorify hatred. However, before we judge it negatively, we need to objectively see and acknowledge that such an emotion naturally arises.

Next, we need to acknowledge that we are weak beings who cannot help but feel hatred and are bound to suffer and be hurt because of it. We are not broad-minded beings who can accept any words or actions of others without being hurt. When we acknowledge this, won’t we be able to look at our hatred more freely?

Furthermore, it would be good if we read the psychology behind hatred. Although many factors are at work, the reason hatred arises is, above all, because of ‘comparison’. Cain felt angry and resentful because he thought the Lord only considered Abel’s offering. Jacob’s sons also felt jealous because they were compared to Joseph, and sold their youngest son to merchants in the desert.

Hatred often arises when we feel that someone has more or is loved more than we are, or when someone treats us poorly. Then, isn’t the way to escape resentment not to compare? Of course, it won’t be easy. Above all, it will change if we can deeply realize that God loves us more than anyone else. We compare and are jealous because we do not have the awareness and confidence that we are precious and noble beings loved by God.

However, God never compares. God sees and loves all things and humans in the world He created in various ways. Comparison arises from a heart that does not accept diversity. We are different, but this difference is not for comparison, but to blend together and create a beautiful mosaic.

Let's look at ourselves through God’s eyes and see ourselves in the beautiful mosaic that is everyone. If we can be certain that we are shining as unique and beloved beings of God right where we are, wouldn’t we be able to live in a different relationship with our neighbors than before?

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