'Kkondae' A Word We Don't Want To Hear

In the recent Bible And Life magazine, three articles were concerned with the meaning of the word 'Kkondae' often heard within Korean society. A word directed to the elderly by the young. One of the articles wanted to help the readers avoid being called a 'Kkondae'. It's a slang word that seems to have taken on different meanings with time and at present, it's a word we don't want to hear addressed to us.

It is not easy to translate into English but we have words that describe what young Koreans would understand to be included: showoff, egotist, bragger, arrogant, condescending, high and mighty, haughty. In the list of the seven capital sins, we would place it in the first place as pride.

One of the articles written by a priest counselor finds the task far from easy; both from his own life and those that he has counseled over the years. He sees it as an elderly person who is not behaving wisely. They are seen as immature by the young and addressed sarcastically as 'Kkondae'.

His first example is one who assumes airs about his younger years and fires off what he has done. Those who speak in this way feel superior but those listening feel disgraced and seeing the situation of the older person makes fun of him. Because of their feelings of inferiority, those behaving like a 'Kkondae' try to compensate by boasting. This kind of person is not one prepared to do favors for others.

The second are those that want to be respected for their age. They are all 'Kkondae'. Those with ability don't think of their age. They don't wait for others to respect them but the 'Kkondae' even if not old gets angry when respect is not shown.

The third type is the worst. They don't listen to others and want to be heard. It's always for the benefit of the other, they make sure to add.  The presence of this type of 'Kkondae' is always tedious on the young. All the words expressed are correct, hearing them they feel a revulsion having heard them so often.

Why does one become a 'Kkondae'? The writer says it is a lack of eye awareness, intuitive situational awareness or probably the best translation would be common sense. Briefly, the 'Kkondae' lacks this common sense when dealing with the young. They are not able to read the mind of the young.

He concludes the article with a checklist, the more you check the greater degree of 'Kkondae' behavior. Even checking one of them does mean that you have a touch of 'Kkondae'.

1) Seeing the efforts of civil servants these days they have a lack of a challenging spirit.

2) We always need to obey the words of those who are in a position of authority.

3) Meeting a person for the first time I need to know his age and education level to feel comfortable.

4) I am upset when a younger person comes in late.

5) I get angry when eating with young people if everything is not in proper order.

6) I often use the expression 'when I was your age'.

7) I speak impolitely to people in stores and when shopping.

8) What do young people know? Do I think this way at times?

9) When the young are demonstrating against some issue do I feel that they are not acting properly?

10) Do I agree that the older we get the wiser we become?

11) Do I seek to teach a younger person when they do something different, my way of doing things?

12) When I ask someone to give their opinion do I step in and give my opinion.

13) Do I always feel that as an older person I have something to say?

14) Do I get angry when a younger person disagrees with me?

Internet Bullying

At the end of last year, two entertainers in succession, ended their own lives, news of great sadness in society. With the report came the reason for the choice:  malicious comments, insults that were experienced by the entertainers. Consequently, the Blue House Bulletin Board was flooded with petitions to do something with cybercrime and the malicious comments experienced by many on the internet.

In 2018 there was the sad case of an elementary school student's suicide because of internet bullying. Society wants to see a change, all the different levels in society have shown a need to do something because of the great shame experienced by society. The church also needs to get involved. In the Kyeongyang magazine, a priest with a doctorate in media studies brings the problems to the attention of the readers.

Pope Francis in his Apostolic Exhortation, Rejoice and Be Glad, mentions the issue as he does in many of his messages. "Christians too can be caught up in networks of verbal violence through the internet and the various forms of digital communication. Even in Catholic media, limits can be overstepped, defamation and slander can become commonplace, and all ethical standards and respect for the good name of others can be abandoned. The result is a dangerous dichotomy, since things can be said there that would be unacceptable in public discourse, and people look to compensate for their own discontent by lashing out at others. It is striking that at times, in claiming to uphold the other commandments, they completely ignore the eighth, which forbids bearing false witness or lying, and ruthlessly vilify others. Here we see how the unguarded tongue, set on fire by hell, sets all things ablaze" (115).

If we examine verbal violence we see the shame and contempt that is included. In the case with the two entertainers, we have maliciousness that was intended to destroy the entertainers. It was vulgar abuse, mockery; the verbal violence was too much for them.

When one is overcome with shame one loses the ability to see things correctly and will refuse sympathy from others, overcome by anger, fear, and criticism. The humiliation engendered is like a whirlpool from which one finds it difficult to extract oneself. Without the successful management of energy from the emotions the possibility of suicide will be present. Those who are inflicting this pain on others often are not conscious of the harm and the hate that they are projecting.

This kind of loathing and hatred expressed in cyberspace is contagious and speaks to their colleagues who begin to think they are justified in what they are doing. We must not forget that those two entertainers had to deal with this loathing and hatred.

This whole issue of verbal violence in Korean society and efforts to resolve the issue is not a small matter. The society in which we exist will not easily accept the curtailing of free speech and efforts to do so will be seen as a movement toward totalitarianism. Also, many believe those in the field of entertainment need to accept this as a part of the life they have chosen. And when it comes to the degree and those who need to be curtailed, discernment is most difficult.

He mentions a university professor who reminds those who want to see a change that the way to go about it is not with a hammer but with a scalpel. Hate speech and the freedom to express oneself have to be delicately approached and freedom of expression protected but the need to have society sympathetic with the efforts to deal with the problem is of great advantage. There is a need to remove the reasons for hate speech and efforts to show why verbal violence can be more hurtful than physical violence.

Efforts also need to be made to help the victims of this verbal violence to understand where the humiliations that they are experiencing is coming from and make efforts to eradicate it. "Humility can only take root in the heart through humiliations. Without them, there is no humility or holiness. If you are unable to suffer and offer up a few humiliations, you are not humble and you are not on the path to holiness" (118).

When efforts are made to humiliate us we need to remember the distorted views of the perpetrators and remember the dignity that we have as children of God. This is easily said but those who are undergoing the humiliation are in great agony we must never forget. We need to understand the situation they are in, and to train persons who will be able to help those who face this type of abuse as we work to see a society that will always remember the dignity of all our brothers and sisters, those with whom we agree and disagree.

 

Coronavirus And Fear

Coronavirus is a serious threat to Korea. At present over 2,931 cases are recorded and 16 have died of the disease. The government has asked that gatherings of people be curtained and all of the Catholic dioceses have discontinued Masses and gatherings at the church. The Incheon diocese will continue to March 15 without Masses.

In the Eyes of the Believer column of the Catholic Times, a newspaperman is more concerned with the spread of fear than the infectious disease. The means of spreading fear are mainly words and writings, and the medium that carries them is no longer the traditional media— newspapers, and broadcasts, but the explosion of the new media. 

In Korea, there are about 8,000 internet newspapers registered with the government. The number of single-person media based on digital platforms like YouTube are uncountable. Besides, smartphones that are opened to these media have become a necessity for everyday life. It's estimated that about 60,000 news items come to the attention of the public daily.

The number of media is overwhelmingly larger than in the days of SARS (2003) or Mers (2015), and there are far more words about the Corona19, with the possibility of raising fears.  

When a society is confronted with war, political, economic, social problems or infectious diseases, the government must focus on all the issues at the same time. If you don't manage the words and texts that are being spread in society, ugly public sentiment can be the result and cause great harm. We have numerous examples of this in world history.

 But in the modern democratic system, it is not right for the government to 'manage' words and writings. 'Freedom of expression' is one of our basic rights. It is as fragile as it is precious, and it is only appropriate to manage it within the framework of law and social practice.

In that sense, the response of China's government, which is the origin of Corona 19, has been shocking. China tried to merge capitalism and socialism; developed a free market economy, but again showed that the state management system was totalitarian. The freedom to make known the facts on the virus was curtailed and foreign reporters who reportedly criticized the government were deported. 

The attempt to silence public opposition to maintain the system has been frequently witnessed in our recent history. In 1980, the military government tortured and imprisoned those who correctly conveyed the reality of the May 18 democratization movement. Of course, They were accused of spreading rumors (fake news). This ruthless management of people's words and writings continued until the June 1987 Democracy Movement.

In fact, many of these things have been going on in human civilization and continue in many countries.

Even if the National Assembly tries to enact a crackdown on digital news, 'fake news', many lawmakers oppose it, and there are still more than 10 bills pending. Many countries are in a similar situation. It is because of the freedom of expression.

Germany is a country that curtails 'hate speech' because of its history of hate crimes during World War II. Other European countries rejected the curtailment of free speech. Defining the truth at the discretion of the government is wrong due to concerns that it will hurt the freedom of expression, one of the basic rights of a free people.

As the corona spreads further, the difficulties of the government increases. However, a democratic government shouldn't express their willingness to crack down on fake news too often. It would be reasonable to just promote it as an official notice from the government.

Seeing Depression Positively

Depression is a common ailment and the Catholic Peace Weekly in its Word And Silence column, a  member of the press corp, gives us his thoughts on what depression has meant to him.

At some point, he got lost. Even his faith life went astray. He lived in the church. He was even blessed to have his workplace next to a church. One day in the church he broke down crying— wounded by reality and trembling with fear of the future. Friends, neighbors, and colleagues were far away.

One sunny day, he hid in a cave, like a wounded hedgehog. He felt cozy in the dark and wet place; remained there for a long time. After the wound healed, he did not find it easy to leave. Eyes used to darkness could not withstand the glare of the world.

His whole body hurt. They were not able to find a cause even after repeated examinations. He complained of pain and the doctor recommended consulting a psychiatrist. Never, he shook his head before an unacceptable diagnosis. He was living an upright life, saying his prayers, his soul cannot have been the problem. The university hospital doctor prescribed antidepressants. He put the medicine in the drawer and turned away from it for a long time. One day he met a dangerous temptation on a mountain climbing trip, hesitated for a while and returned home and swallowed a pill and continued for over a year.  

He avoided meeting others, afraid they would notice. He rejected sympathy and comfort; stopped at churches and monasteries earnestly hoping for salvation, but would not extend his hand asking for help.
 
He read a book on depression and was surprised by the numbers. It turned out that depression was a very common disease. Wounds and pains abounded in many hearts;  anxiety and despair pervaded the times. Every time he went around the corner, he pretended not to be bothered with depression. Panic disorder, OCD, paranoia, insomnia and the like were often the dark side of anxiety and depression. On the street, the young looked up to the sky, and the old turned around and swallowed their tears.

Melancholy like in a swamp pulls you down to the bottom. Lonely and unhappy. Anxious and shameful, he wanted to throw himself away. He doesn't like it. But there is no way out. These feelings spread like a virus and infect those nearby.

Where does depression come from? Is it the pressure and frustration of reality? Is it childhood memories? Is it a suppressed desire? Is it the struggle to protect oneself? There is a lot of research and prescriptions. Stories of one's experience and confessions are not uncommon. It's not easy to overcome the trial. Looking back, it was not overcome, it was a time to endure until the river of time washes it away.

The first step to healing is to accept the situation. You must acknowledge and affirm. It is important to understand that the heart can hurt as well as the body. He must admit that the very disease has come to him. It is helpful to know that it is unexpectedly common.

Next, find out the cause. We must travel long to find the source of sorrow, anxiety, and fear. Perhaps you have to face an inner wound. Perhaps you encounter an experience or shock that you don't even remember. You may cry after seeing the reality in the dark.

Depression can be medicine, not an illness. Wash away with tears the irresistible wounds so they don't destroy you. The person who has undergone the purification is different. He doesn't spend time with the superficialities in the world. One is able to read the sadness and pain on the neighbor's face. One is full of mercy and ready to forgive and love. Where is life without pain?  He finds himself repeating chant-like: "Happy those who mourn:  they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5: 5).

Win/Win Approach to the Young and Old of Society

Do you accept the elderly as partners in your community? This was a question asked in a column in the Catholic Times on Social Issues. Problems with the elderly are common in society. Cultural and moral values cannot be judged by efficiency alone, a great danger in an economic orientated social structure that seeks only economic value and profit.

Not infrequently when talking with friends the elderly are ignored. There is a tendency to want to respect them but not involved in society. Many prejudices and barriers exist in society because of age differences. 

Unfortunately, in our society, the elderly and alienation are terms that are closely associated. Wisdom, age, and the position of the elderly were at the center of the home, but that is no longer the case. In the comprehensive report on human rights of the elderly released by the National Human Rights Commission in 2018, 80.9% of the respondents were negative on the human rights of the elderly. Increasing support burdens, job shortages, and social conflicts are factors. The government's recent proposal to raise the official age of retirement has received criticism from many sectors of society. 

Besides, there are statements made about the elderly that are difficult even to repeat, expressions that disparage the elderly online, including YouTube. "Old people take the jobs of young people!", "Old people are old and useless!", "The anachronistic judgments of old people threaten society!" Etc. But isn't this too much? There is a place for reasonable criticism, however, to show this kind of contempt for the elderly, as if they have no place in society is an extremely unhealthy, immature reaction of society.

It is not easy for the elderly to adapt to the rapidly changing technological civilization. They also have a weak economic base because they poured out everything on their children. The weakening of their bodies and minds make them the weakest in society. And yet it was their contributions and sacrifices, that gave us the present society.

Why did the excessive generational conflicts and aversions arise? Because of our negative perception of the elderly. In fact, the elderly problem is a comprehensive symbol of Korean social problems. It shows what our society has pursued and the results of the upheaval of the last 50 years. Our prosperity and development achieved did it not bring with it indifference, selfishness, conflict, and aversion in society? He worries that the only thing left in society with the neglect of morality and ethics is hatred and conflict. 

Has not the perception that "we only need to save the economy" shaken our mutual understanding, and love for neighbor. The current situation of pursuing economic value and profit alone neglects many and threatens families and the elderly. Many seniors who have dedicated their lives to society live in bitterness and alienation. Our society is on the wrong path.

What do you think of the duty of filial piety in the Ten Commandments? Piety is the first step to remind people of the source in forming a community and loving their neighbors. Of course, the younger generation's disappointment with the older generations certainly exists. But should not love and forgiveness be the greatest unseen asset of society? Society has changed, and the roles of individuals and the ways the different generations coexist have to change. But this should not lead to the destruction of human dignity but mutual respect for the needs of the other. Society's development and reform should be directed toward constructive search and the coexistence of new roles, which can be done through the respect of others and a win/win understanding of the needs of the old and young.

 "Love is also expressed in the generous attention shown to the elderly who live in families: their presence can take on great value. They are an example of connections between generations, a resource for the well-being of the family and of the whole of society: Not only do they show that there are aspects of life — human, cultural, moral and social values — which cannot be judged in terms of economic efficiency, but they can also make an effective contribution in the work-place and in leadership roles. In short, it is not just a question of doing something for older people, but also of accepting them realistically as partners in shared projects —#222.

Compendium of the Social Gospel of the Church

Pain And the Sea of Life

Everybody has some kind of suffering to deal with in life. The death of the innocent, accidents that happen to those that are living an upright life, and the unfortunate situations that afflict us. We don't ask society but God—Why? In a diocesan bulletin, a professor of spirituality gives the readers some of his thoughts on pain in life.

Why does God allow these horrible sufferings? It's impossible for anyone to give an answer that satisfies our reason. Eliphaz of Teman in the Book of Job in a mocking way tells Job that his suffering was the result of some sin in his life. But this is not what it is, nor is it right to say that pain helps Job to grow.

The essence of pain is not understood by the working of the mind but needs to be directly experienced to understand. The meaning is a mystery. All one can do is listen to the experience of the one undergoing the pain and try to understand what is going on.

Karl Jaspers the German philosopher and psychiatrist who knew the meaning of personal physical pain from childhood understood the need to transcend life to understand life on a different level. Josef Sudbrack, a theologian, said with suffering we experience the absence of God but a the same time God is greater than this experience.

Pope John Paul in Salvifici Doloris:
"Following the parable of the Gospel, we could say that suffering, which is present under so many different forms in our human world, is also present in order to unleash love in the human person, that unselfish gift of one's "I" on behalf of other people, especially those who suffer. The world of human suffering unceasingly calls for, so to speak, another world: the world of human love; and in a certain sense man owes to suffering that unselfish love which stirs in his heart and actions" (#29). Again:

"In doing this, the individual unleashes hope, which maintains in him the conviction that suffering will not get the better of him, that it will not deprive him of his dignity as a human being, a dignity linked to awareness of the meaning of life. And indeed this meaning makes itself known together with the working of God's love, which is the supreme gift of the Holy Spirit. The more he shares in this love, man rediscovers himself more and more fully in suffering: he rediscovers the 'soul' which he thought he had 'lost') because of suffering" (#24).

A parish priest gathered those in his parish who had undergone some kind of suffering and by means of their suffering were able to find the working of grace in their lives. He used them as pastoral workers in the community. For those whose, married life was a continual conflict, they worked to help those with problems in family relationships. Those who had lost a child and had to deal with despair they were present to counsel. Healing came with the compassion that was shown. Through the experience of pain, we understand the pain of others and with God's help participate in the suffering of Christ.

Life existentially unfolds in a situation of suffering. God's gift of life and the pain coexist in the sea of life. In the study of spirituality, pain is considered as a way of dealing with and relating to reality. The problem is not the external pain in itself that comes but our failure to believe that God is always healing our wounds and giving us new life. Through the experience of pain, we understand the pain of others. If we do not forget that God is always there to help us we will experience the transcendent strength of grace.

Korean Basic Christian Communities

Basic Christian Communities were introduced to enable all members of the church to actively participate in the mission of evangelization but have had difficulty in Korea. Not all the dioceses have seen its value, although it has a history in the Korean church.
 
According to a research institute report in a diocese with a 20-year history of working with the small communities, laypeople have been positive about the help they have received from the small communities. However, there was a lack of communication and no significant improvement over the years. This reality is not only a problem of a particular diocese but a need for measures to revitalize the pastoral community and focus the attention of priests on the movement.
 
The priest at the head of the Diocesan Pastoral Institute gives the readers of the Catholic Times an introduction to the meaning of the small communities. He hopes all the members of the church will appreciate the importance of the small community program whose members are trying to live the life of the early church practicing evangelical communion and love for neighbor.

It has been 20 years since the pastoral ministry of small communities began in this diocese, however, the path of revitalization is still a long way off. The research report points out that there is a need for improved awareness of small communities by priests as well as believers. The parishioners in the small communities generally give a positive evaluation of the small community movement more so than the priests.

'Communication' is an important topic throughout society and the report makes clear that with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, all members of the church need to work together, respect each other's words and consider together how to strengthen the small communities.

 The Diocesan Pastoral Institute published a research report that was conducted from October 2018 to April 2019. Based on a survey of a total of 1701 people. According to the report, both priests and lay believers did not think that communication between parish members was sufficiently carried out in the process of establishing the Basic Christian Community.

On the question for the reason and purpose of small communities, the priests scored low. It was found that the reason for establishing the small communities was not accurately understood.

The priests were not strongly supportive of the pastoral reality of the small community movement. In particular, the pastors regarded the small community pastoral reality more negatively than the assistant priests and those in special works. Priests responded that the small community was not very helpful in activating the parish community as a whole.

On the other hand, in the case of lay people, unlike the priests, they assessed that they were receiving positive help in their religious life by participating in the small community movement. In terms of helping Christian life: high scores were given to the formation of a sense of belonging, bonding of the parish community, maturity of faith life and more active participation in the life of the church.

Regarding the future of small communities priests gave a negative outlook, saying: "After more than 20 years of experience, we no longer need to make the small community the central pastoral concern of the diocese." Nevertheless, if the pastoral ministry continues, it is necessary to present various pastoral models considering the reality of the parish.

In contrast, the laypeople were positive about the future of small communities. Since the small communities are the pastoral vision of the diocese the bishop and priests need to continue to pay special attention to the movement. The small communities are attempting to live the essential life of a Christian and special attention needs to be given to efforts to improve. Besides, when priests are sent to a parish those who are interested in the movement should be sent. The laypeople are demanding awareness of the small communities by the diocese and priests to revitalize the small communities.

The head of the Diocesan Pastoral Research Institute, said: "The research showed that the awareness of the priests and the need for continuous education are necessary."