Children Should Enjoy Being Children

Over the years, it was often heard in Korea that our children are not allowed to be children. In a recent daily newspaper, pictures show students in middle and high school sleeping in class, noting that they are preparing to go to the academies in the evening and getting the necessary shuteye to be wide awake for the real study, preparing for college.
Spending most of their time studying for college, our youngsters are missing a critical time in their life, being children.

In the column "Daily Life and Faith Life" in the Catholic Times, the writer tells us that when a child acts like grownups  most adults will consider it praiseworthy. He asks us if we think that children truly like to do what others consider the grownup thing to do.  Children, he says, are naturally programed to act like children in a world of toys and dolls where reality can't be separated from imagination. They cry when frightened, they easily sulk and do not listen to reason. They brag and cling tenaciously to their possessions, and there is no saying no to any temptation that comes their way. Above all, there is no end to their capacity for curiosity. He believes that it is acting in this way that children grow up to be mature adults, able to distinguish what they should and should not do in society. Little by little they gain responsibility and concern for others.

However, when adults have spent childhood acting like adults, the writer thinks they will often revert to childish ways when they are adults. He quotes a  hermit scholar-priest who  said, " Please let the children be children. Don't hit them when they act frivolously. If they don't act like children when will they? If they grow up acting too much like adults, when they become adults you will be spending a great deal of money for counseling sessions."

The writer says that when he was working in the mental ward of a hospital or in his counseling practice, he often met adults who acted like children. But we can become, he says, too permissive and lacking in discernment, which will tend to form a selfish and egoistical child.  A balanced approach is obviously best. By asking ourselves whether we are healthy adults or child adults who need to act like children, we may gain in this soul-searching a better understanding of what it means, for us and for our children, to grow into an ever-evolving mature adulthood.

Results of Abusive Language

A parish priest, a professor in the diocesan seminary, writes in the opinion piece in the Catholic Times of the pervasiveness of foul and abusive  language in society. We hear it when riding in a bus or subway car, from middle and high school students and also from the older generation, and from those in all walks of life. The routine and mindless abuse of the marvelous gift of language bothers him, as if  his use of it is  contaminated as well.

He brings this truth to our attention by quoting the Swiss linguist Ferdinand de Saussure (1857-1913). "Humans have within themselves consciousness  and the spiritual. This internal consciousness is expressed externally with the words we use."

This is easy enough to understand: words express our internal character, who we are. Words are the way we relate with others, how we  dialogue with others. If we remember this, we will not easily use vulgar language when speaking with others. The consequences of doing so are great.

He mentions a story from the Talmud: A king asks that the most useful and  the most harmful thing in the world  be brought to him; the  object found  was the same--the tongue. Examples of this double character of language are many. There are those who heard only negative things when growing up who  ended up in prison. And those who had everything going against them, but hearing words of affirmation have done great things.


He quotes the following words: " Be careful of your thoughts, they will become your words. Be careful of your words, they will become your actions.  Be careful of your actions,  they will become your habits. Be careful of your habits, they will become your character.  Be careful of your character for that will be your destiny."

There is no doubting the mutual relationship between the words we use and the person we become. Whether our character prospers or suffers will  depend greatly on  the words we choose to use. The society will be changed when we start changing the little things. That this society has  become desolate and dreary  may  have  something  to  do with the words we choose to use.

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Seeing Depression as a Cold of the Spirit

In the Incheon Bulletin this week, a therapist at the Spiritual Research Center of the diocese writes about depression, comparing it to a cold.  As we all know, he says, we are attacked by the cold virus at the change of seasons when our immune systems are run down. Similarly, many doctors, psychologists, counselors and spiritual directors say depression is the cold of our minds and hearts.

Our society has been alerted to the problems associated with depression by the recent spate of highly publicized suicides of well-known people who suffered from depression. A very common mood disorder among adults, it affects 5 to 12 percent of men, and 10 to 25 percent of women. And we are not talking here about simply feeling down, which can happen to anyone during difficult periods of life. Serious depression, as a despairing state of mind and heart, makes it hard to function and carry on even simple daily activities. Though the symptoms are many and varied, typical symptoms can include losing our taste for food, losing weight, becoming physically fretful, procrastinating, and experiencing a general slowing down of our mental faculties, accompanied by aches and pain. Since the urge to kill oneself often is present, the therapist believes the depressed person should be hospitalized when the symptoms are serious.


Returning to the  analogy of the cold, he says that just as there is no clear cut treatment for a cold--it usually cures itself--the same can be said for most colds of the mind and heart. Colds of the body and of the spirit can often be prevented, he believes, by bodily health, sufficient sleep, good eating habits, regular exercise, and, especially no worrying. He mentions most of the ones he has counseled are worriers--worries being the death of the spirit. As with a cold, he advises us to pay no attention to supposedly worrisome things; let the things go and the worries will go with them. However, if complications develop, either with a cold or with depression, it may be necessary, he warns, to see a specialist.

It is always difficult to know what to say to help the depressed person. It is easy to tell them to see a doctor, knowing the  uselessness of our trying to give advice, but doing so anyway even when trying not to.  It's not always easy to do what we know we should do. The quick-fix answers that tend to come to mind: "Look at the bright side of things; get rid of the negative thinking and try to be positive in your approach to what comes your way" will not help and are best left unsaid. Sometimes, not saying anything is what we should do. Being present, simply listening to their pain may be our best response, the compassionate response. Depression  being in many cases an affliction of the spirit, may be best handled by letting the depressed person reach into the spiritual depths of the disease with a compassionate listener--heart to heart.

Missionary Spirit of the Korean Catholic Church

A recent article in The Peace Weekly on two diocesan priests from Suwon, working as missioners in the Sudan, notes the many Koreans working in the missions, not including  Korean communities overseas. At the end of 2009 the Catholic Church of Korea had 863 missioners working in different parts of the world.

"To live as a missioner is a daily challenge" was the way the two missioners expressed what life is like in the Sudan. They are working in a country with severe poverty, disease  and ignorance. The situation is desperate and cannot be compared to the usually less than ideal situations in most of Africa. The Sudan has suffered many years of war, and the scars remain. Most of their teenagers have been in the war and still have family members in the army, many of them having lost members of their families in the fighting. As a result, starvation is a reality for many. Kept at  bay until 2005, when food dropped from relief planes ended, and they are now asking the missioners to do the same: send planes with food.

In the meantime, the effort to get the Sudanese to become self-reliant is a full time task. Many have never done any service for others. They have grown accustomed to being dependent on others to survive, so it will take years, the missioners believe, to wean them of this dependency and allow them to take charge of bettering their lives. The missioners realize that it is not only what they do that is important in keeping them there in the Sudan, but the help of the Korean Church and individual  Catholics is also necessary. 

The mission in the Sudan is an expensive one,  for there are few resources there to rely on. "Giving the Sudanese material goods that will enable them to have a self-supporting Church is not enough," say the missioners. "Buiding solidarity with the people and with those who will follow is also important, and it will not come with more material goods but when everyone involved works together to achieve a common goal.  From our point of view, we cannot  find satisfaction in what we are doing by only giving, for as we  followed in the footsteps of the missioners from the West, we hope also to encourage others to  follow us.  We  were able to  put down roots because of the sweat and tears of the western missioners."


They go on to say that the Mission Sunday collections back home in Korea, important as they are, do not compare to the sending of missioners. It is now time for the Korean Church to be concerned not only about their own problems but about the poverty and hunger in other parts of the world. Africa, they point out, is the Lazarus of our day, lying on the floor by our food-laden tables, looking for scrapes to sustain itself.

Half of the Korean missioners are working among the Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, and those living in  Hong Kong. 640 are sisters; the men religious are few, the dioceses not yet actively taking an interest. But the Peace Weekly article is confident that it will not be long before we will have over  1,000 working in the missions. Compared to about 20,000 missionary Protestants, we still have a long way to go.  However, there are hopeful signs for the future. 

Living As Partners To Creation--The Green Martyrs

We have all heard about the martyrs who shed their blood for their faith--the "red martyrs." Some may have heard about the "white martyrs," a bloodless dying to the world by those who renounce the world by emptying themselves for their faith. Now, in an article appearing in the Kyeong Hyang Magazine, a priest finds connections between the meanings of martyrdom and ecology by going back to an early Irish experience when monks would go into the wilderness of the countryside to study, pray and commune with nature. Those today who leave behind the comforts of life, like the monks of ancient Ireland, and retreat to the woods and mountains, the lonely green  spots of the world to commune with God and partner with nature can also be called, says the priest, martyrs--"green martyrs." He extends the term to include those who are concerned about the health of the environment and who work to protect it. 

The color green, which results from combining the blue and yellow colors or, symbolically, the 'blue' and 'yellow' parts of our human nature--blue: sometimes seen as the unfeeling intellect and yellow: sometimes seen as the feeling warmth of the sun--combine to give us a symbolic 'green'.  The green of spring, reproduction, joy, trust, nature, paradise, plenty, prosperity, and peace. In the liturgy at this time of the year, we use the liturgical color green to signify all the above, along with hope and life.

Attempting to make this world a green world is the green martyr's task-- not an easy one. A person who sees the destruction of God's creation as a spiritual problem tries to atone for the carelessness by carrying out the duty we all have to take care of creation.

The writer mentions the Catholic Farmers Association as an example of those who  have tried to live this green martyr's life. They are fighting the habitual way of farming that leads inevitably to the destruction of  the environment.

These farmers living the environmentally friendly lifestyle--not  using pesticides and artificial fertilizers have suffered a loss in income, been ridiculed, treated coldly, and  even called communists for their efforts.  Fortunately, those in the cities concerned for their health buy their products,  otherwise the zeal of the green farmers would not have lasted. The consumers who assist in this way can also be considered green martyrs for the sacrifice they are making in spending more to buy their food.

 It is not a sin to live comfortably, but it can be addictive; there is always the danger that it can become an idol to which we do service, increasing our blindness, says the writer, to the needs of others and also to the destruction of our environment.

The green martyrdom approach to life is to accept a certain amount of living uncomfortably. Obviously, not an easy thing to do; it requires a kind of death--a dying to the comfortable life we've grown accustomed to. Our reward, however, is to make all of creation our partners in living harmoniously together--stewards of God's creation.

Homosexuality Making Korean Prime Time TV

One of the professors at our seminary, a priest in charge of the marriage tribunal in the diocese, writes in our recent Diocesan Bulletin on the subject of homosexuality, which recently has received a great deal of media attention. A very popular TV drama, "Life Is Beautiful," has a subplot dealing with a sexual relationship between two men. Written by one of the masters of the soap opera world, the drama treats the homosexual theme seriously and with a great deal of sympathy. The drama has become so popular that it has been extended for a number of months. Because of this heightened interest, the priest has been asked by many to explain the Church's position on same-sex marriage.

This is not a topic that our Catholics would be familiar with from the mass media, which has only indirectly touched on the subject, although this is changing. While acknowledging that many nations in the West have recognized same-sex marriages, the priest explains in detail why the Church is against such marriages, quoting from the Catechism of the Church.

He makes clear the concern that we should have for those who are in such a personally demanding situation. We should, he says, rid ourselves of negative attitudes and all forms of discrimination toward those with a same-sex attraction. They are to be respected and given sympathy, and when possible, helped to change.

He goes on to say what we hear little about in the media: depending on their maturity, those with same-sex attraction who have married someone of the opposite sex and have tried to overcome the same-sex attraction often make good parents. However, those who have lived the homosexual life should not be counseled to marry. We have all been called to the life of chastity and those who are attracted to their own sex are not only called to live chastely but to work to change their sexual  orientation.

Those with  this orientation have also been called to carry out God's will--their troubles and pain are  a participation in the suffering of Jesus as are the afflictions of anyone of us. They can even have, because of their affliction, a closer relationship with the Lord.

The feelings expressed in the article may not be the ones we have  come to expect from those writing about the subject, but they are the traditional Christian approach. It will be interesting to see how the society will respond as more becomes known of this controversial minority within the Korean population--a minority that has been unremittingly discriminated against and their existence scarcely acknowledged by society. The recent publicity will do much to get us talking and moving us closer to a better understanding of a minority that has had difficulty receiving help for what we as Catholics would see as a cross. A cross that could be made lighter if more of us would be willing to lend a helping hand.

Why Is Self-Emptying So Important in Both East And West?

In the Gospel for today we hear our Lord tell us what is necessary to be his disciple: "Anyone who does not take up his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." A priest reflecting on this passage, in the bulletin for clergy, refers back to the beginnings of Confucianism and Buddhism and shows that our Lord was speaking from a "blueprint"  that other wisdom teachers have discerned from life.

When taking up our cross, a willing acceptance of a personally painful matter in our journey through life, we should be clear, says the priest, about what that is. My cross may be anything in my daily life that is painful to deal with, but necessary if I am to live as a  Christian and as a full human being, we must not deny our crosses or run from them. Our Lord asks us to carry them willingly.

To do this, the prerequisite is to empty ourselves. The writer makes clear that all the higher religions make this a starting point--getting rid of the personal self. If the glass is filled with what is not wanted and not necessary we have to empty it to receive what is needed and life-giving.

He quotes from the "Analects of Confucius," Ninth Book, Section 4: "The Master recognized four prohibitions: Do not be swayed by personal opinion; recognize no inescapable necessity; do not be stubborn; do not be self centered--or, as the writer puts it,  no wilfulness, no necessity, no stubbornness and  no self. One of the interpreters of the Analects explained that a person does something because it is what the person wants to do; he usually does not bother to ask what more may be involved. He goes ahead and doesn't stop until he achieves what was intended. It  is this attachment to the  results that  brings on the mental pain that most of us experience in life.

The early Buddhists saw that freedom from the personal self, and the accompanying mental pain would earn them emancipation from the ties of this world.  By abiding in the awareness of no-self, an important concept in Buddhism, there would be no worldly desires.

Jesus makes the same point, although Christians come from a different understanding of life. In Galatians, St. Paul says, "I have been crucified with Christ, and the life I live now is not my own; Christ is living in me."  For the Christian, Jesus is the Lord, he is the Lord of everything I have and do. I try to conform my life to his. The writer concludes that we as Christians should be careful that we are not living our lives as if it all depended on us, on our own will and strength.

Reading the preceding, one can understand the fatalism, the resignation that is associated with much of the East. This fatalism is not only part of  eastern wisdom but also part of the mostly unknown patrimony of the West. In one of our antiphons to the psalms, we frequently repeat "Surrender to God, and he will do everything for you." This trust in God with the acknowledgement of our freedom of will makes all the difference.