A Sad Story

An old man who had lost his wife and was quite frail had two sons who were too busy with their own affairs to care for him. The newsletter for priests recounts the 
sad story.

One day he went to a carpenter and asked him to make a wooden box, and to be sure it looked old and worn on the outside. He filled the box with broken glass, closed the lid, securing it with a large lock, and put it under his bed.

The two sons, on seeing the box for the first time were filled with curiosity. When the father was not home they took the box and, not being able to open it because of the lock, shook it. The glass pieces gave out a clanking sound that they took to be money the father had been saving over the years. From then on, the sons took turns spending time with their father.

When the father died, the sons with great anticipation opened the box only to find it was not filled with the money they expected. The older son in a fit of anger blurted: "I was deceived." Seeing the younger son staring at the box, he said, " Do you want the box? Take it." The young son stood there for some time, tears coming to his eyes. He took the box and went home.

"The branches of a tree, although wanting to remain still, must contend with the wind that does not rest. Children want to honor their father, but he does not wait." The younger brother remembered this old saying. He believed that taking possession of the box would be a way of remembering  his father and reverencing his memory. His wife did not see any need to keep the broken glass, so he removed the glass, and saw at the bottom of the box a small piece of paper. He read the words on the paper and broke down with uncontrollable sobbing, which brought the whole family into the room. These were the words his father had written:

"When I had my first son, I was happy. I cried. When the second son was born, it was so good I laughed. From that time on, for over 30 years, many thousands of times--no,  many ten thousands of times-- they made me cry with joy, and laugh. Now I am old, and when the change came I do not know. But they changed. Now they make me cry, but not with joy, and make me laugh, but not because it is good.

"I am alone now. What is left to me is only a remembrance. In the beginning, it was a pearl-like remembrance. Years later it was remembering the happiness of pain that bent my back. Now what I remember is like the shreds of broken pottery, the fragments of glass.
"Please, in your old age do not be like me. In God's goodness do not be like me!"

Baptismal Names

Baptismal names in Korea up until recent times were important to our Catholics. Nowadays, there is less value placed on the name given at baptism.  Koreans, as is the usual custom everywhere, have a surname and a given name. For Catholics there would also be the  baptismal name, and in some cases among, the old Catholics, the child would only be given one first name; this would be the baptismal name.

In the past, you could often tell by the baptismal name the nationality of the pastor who gave the name. The saint's name would  be selected from the list of Saints of that country.

The names are usually selected because the birthday of the person to be baptized is the same as the saint's, or the saint's life is admired, or the person has the same lifestyle  as the saint, or it may be they just like the sound of the name. The best option would be to select a saint whose life you want to imitate.

A Catholic Times' columnist makes selecting a baptismal name the subject of a recent column. Her name is Sylvia and she mentions how pleased she is when she meets someone with the same baptismal name. Sylvia is not a name  you would see listed as a feast day in the  Liturgical Calendar. She did not make much of an impression in her time. Sylvia picked her because she was not a popular saint. On further study, however, she discovered  there was another Saint Sylvia, who was the mother of Pope St. Gregory the Great, whose  feast day is Dec. 3.

She attempted to find out exactly who the less-known Sylvia was by asking a friend who was studying in Rome. The friend reported that she was born in Spain and was the sister of Rufinus, the Roman procurator in Constantinople and a friend of Theodosius the Great, the Roman Emperor. She had traveled to Egypt and Jerusalem and kept a journal we still have. St. Sylvia died a martyr's death in 420. Her feast day is Dec. 15.

The story of the two Sylvias have over the years been intertwined. One, a Spaniard, was a virgin martyr, and the other, an Italian, was the mother of a Pope. They were born two centuries apart and lived very different lives, but now are equally cherished by our columnist. She is happy to have the two saints as her patrons and remembers the dates of their death each year. She dedicates her column to all those who have the name Sylvia.

Love That Goes Down

The price that one paid for the good life is quietly seen in the homes. No time to talk, to play and enjoy each other's company. A columnist writing for the  Catholic Times refers to this condition by quoting from a poem written by a 2nd year grammar school child:"I have a mother who shows me love/A refrigerator that gives me food/ A dog I can play with/And a father--why he exists, I don't   know."

The columnist remarks on the humor of what the child wrote, but it also left him with a bitter taste, reading this sad portrait of a Korean father. Apparently getting up early in the morning, coming home late every day, and having to sleep during the weekend are not as important as the refrigerator in the kitchen. Another child wrote: "Dad is the one who loves Mom, puts food in the refrigerator, and feeds the dog."

A father himself,  the columnist reflects on his  life and his feelings of what a father should be: A father is like a pillar of the house that keeps the roof from coming down; a father is like a camel with a large pack on its back in the desert. He wonders how his children see him. The 2nd grade grammar school child was not describing the families of most Koreans, but there is a difference in the way the fathers of the past related with their family and the way modern fathers are forced to relate in the present.

What do children want from their fathers? He asks.  As parents we want to raise children well so they will become good human beings. However, in the future,  the child will not consider important that he was brought up in a well-furnished home and given the best things to eat. More importantly, they will remember that they were loved or not loved, that they enjoyed or did not enjoy the company of their father and mother in play and conversation.

When returning home from work, there are times, the columnist says, when irritation breaks out on both sides. Children are expecting to be greeted with warmth, and the parent is expecting not to be harassed. He believes that to understand the heart of a parent it is necessary to be a parent. He distinguishes the love of a parent for a child by describing it as a love that "goes down."

"Love that goes down is a  one way love but without sadness. Not expecting the object of my love to love me in the way I love them. Happy if the love just doesn't bounce off. No matter what the circumstances it is the love that I have been made to give. It is the love that I have received from above that I give to those below. But at times this love gives pain. It is not a choice but our calling."                         

Interviews: Often the Cause for Much Misunderstanding.

The Korean Church is having its own problems on misunderstandings that the world Church had concerning condoms a month ago. Both Catholic papers dealt with the issue. Like the interview with the Pope, which got sidetracked onto another issue, the interview of Cardinal Chong, which was to discuss his new book, became focused instead on the Four River Project, making  it the big news instead of the book just published.

It is sad that interviews can take the place  of a  carefully thought-out position and given more importance than they deserve by the press. Questions are often answered without the thoughtfulness that more time to consider the questions would provide. Since what the Cardinal said is now seen by some as  going against the decision of the Bishops Conference, it is upsetting to many in the Korean Church.

The Catholic Priests Association for Justice has asked the Cardinal to resign for not going along with the consensus of the  Bishops Conference, which expressed some concern about the Project.  We don't know what happened in the meeting of the bishops--it was a secret meeting--but we can be sure that in all particulars, there wasn't unity. The  priest working in public relations for the  Archdiocese of Seoul, who was present at the interview, explained the Cardinal's position.

On the Four River Project, he said the Cardinal is neutral. The bishops' document uses the word concern (which may be taken to mean "worry") for the damage that would be done to the environment, but was not in absolute opposition. He acknowledges that the document can be interpreted as being against the Four River Project but the bishops did not absolutely oppose or approve the project.  Many Catholics were told in parishes that to oppose the guidelines set forth by the Bishops Conference would be a sin. Cardinal  Chong was not concerned whether constructing the Four River Project was a right or a wrong decision. He was merely making a pastoral decision and telling Catholics they were free to be on either side of the issue.

The Diocese is now making plans to develop the area around the Myong Dong Cathedral into a park, and this was brought up as a reason for the Cardinal's position. Some believed his desire to expedite the work on this future project had compromised his position on the Four River Project.  This was complete nonsense, said the spokesman. The interview was not about the Four River Project but about hisbook that was published.Consequently, when the Four River problem came up, he just repeated what he had said in the past.

To the question on how the Cardinal felt about the opposition he was receiving, his answer was that he has received much opposition over the years and was not surprised. There are many things on which people can disagree, he said, and he has himself changed his opinion many times. Outside of those who are using  this issue for  personal or  political  reasons, those for or against want the same thing, said  the Cardinal, and Catholics even more so. Everyone wants the Project to be good for the country. We try to understand the other person's opinion and come to a position that is reasonable to all. We in the Church have many different positions but when in faith we try to understand, love and accept one another, we will be going in the right direction.

Have I Selected the Better Portion?

Age quod Agis, Latin for "Do what you are doing," is a phrase we heard repeatedly in seminary. A similar idea, with variations, that might be heard in most cultures of the world would be: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well." The columnist writing on spiritual matters in the Catholic Times, without using the phrase, gives us a worthwhile  lesson on how to apply this advice in our daily lives by referring to the story of Mary and Martha from the scriptures.

A priest friend who came to visit had an interesting take on the story. He had studied scripture in Europe and asked his friend what he thought of the story in Luke.  [Chapter 10:38-41, "On their journey Jesus entered a village where a woman named Martha welcomed him to her home. She had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord's feet and listened to his words. Martha, who was busy with all the details of hospitality, came to him and said, 'Lord, are you not concerned that my sister has left me to do the household tasks all alone? Tell her to help me.' The Lord in reply said to her: 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and upset about many things; one thing only is required. Mary has chosen the better portion, and she shall not be deprived of it.'"] 

Without giving it much thought he told his friend that Jesus was telling Martha, and all of us, that prayer and meditation are important.

The friend, laughing, said, "Every time I  come across this passage I reflect on my life and  wonder if I, like Mary, have  selected the 'better portion.'  The story can be understood," he believed," as contrasting Mary, who was right, and  Martha, who was wrong. However, it is important to remember," he went on, " Jesus did not say  Mary was right and Martha was  wrong. All that  Jesus said was Mary, at that particular moment, had selected the 'better portion'."
 
"Brother, if we bring the scene to mind we see that Jesus was in the house and was talking. When Jesus is speaking the right choice is to listen, is it not? After he finishes talking he will eat, won't he? When visitors come, it is natural and proper to prepare a meal for them. This is selecting the better portion. If Mary had said to Jesus 'Continue talking,' when Jesus was getting ready to eat, then  we can say that Martha selected the better and  proper portion. To select the proper portion is to remember what you are doing," the priest said, "and to give it your all."

Our columnist was thankful to his friend for the chance to reflect on the story of the two sisters, and what it means in  his life.  When  at study or work and  we think of play and  at play think of work; at a sermon, we pick up the Bulletin to read, or when at the end of Mass, we close our eyes to pray instead of listening to the announcements, we have not chosen the better portion.  We have to be present  to each  moment completely. Only those who are able to see themselves as they are, the columnist says, can give of  themselves undividedly  to what they are doing and choose the better portion.

Living each moment completely is certainly the  way to grow in virtue and maturity. It is not all that easily done for multiple reasons; most importantly because we do not  know ourselves. It would be a good way to atone for the past and prepare for the future.

Small Community Meetings

In recent years the Church has made efforts to have Catholics meet in their villages or districts for prayer and Scripture sharing. Protestants have been doing this for many years, providing a stimulus for us to be as faithful to the practice.  Usually our Catholics meet once a month while Protestants have a weekly district  prayer service. In addition to the meetings in someone's home, Catholics would also have the Mass. And because attendance at daily Mass is good, it's understandable why the small basic communities remain, for the most part, on a monthly schedule.

A pastor of a small country parish, in his column in the Peace Weekly, tells of his visit to one of these meetings. When he arrived, six or seven of the elderly were already preparing for the meeting. A grandmother bent over, an almost deaf grandfather, and some who had difficulty walking were helping.  His only thought: How difficult it must have been for them to come out to the meeting.

During the meeting seeing how one of the grandmothers struggled reading a short Scripture passage, saddened the pastor.But this soon passed when it came time to reflect on their life. A grandfather, who was in his 80s, said he was thankful he could still help others and would continue to do so as long as his health allowed. He was given encouraging applause. Then each member had an extemporaneous prayer, which the pastor found very moving.
   
They then  shared what they had  been doing during the  month, which was followed by refreshments, fruit, beverages and some  alcohol. It was a feast. During refreshment time  each talked about their families and their problems. The pastor, impressed with their efforts to make the best of difficult situations, couldn't help but reflect on how easy his life was in contrast, and decided to be of more help to his parishioners in the future.

In the early Church, we know that the Christians met together to hear about the teachings of the Apostles, to have fellowship, to break bread, and to pray. Our own small basic communities are attempting to do the same, and succeeding.   

---

Understanding What You Do At Liturgy of the Mass

Catholic Liturgy is the public and official worship of  God by the Church, as distinct from personal spiritual practices.  Liturgy comprises the Mass, the sacraments and the daily office. The Pope, speaking of the Eucharist, said that it is "the center and permanent source of the Petrine ministry, the heart of the Christian life, source and summit of the Church’s mission of evangelization." It is the public work of the Church to which we are called to participate  weekly.

The Catholic Times' editorial this week brings our attention to the recent  founding of the Liturgical Institute which will try to educate our Catholics to a mature understanding of the liturgy. In our teaching of the catechism liturgy has not been given the importance that it should have. The teaching has three phases: giving witness to the words and teaching  of Christ in our life and actions, following our Lord by being the salt and light of the world, and participating fully in the liturgy. We have this presented to us in The Acts: "They devoted themselves to the  apostles' instruction and the communal life, to  the breaking of bread and the prayers"(2:42).

The editorial tells us that many Catholics feel they know what the liturgy is all about, but this is usually a superficial understanding of the rites and not their meaning. The hope is that the Liturgical Institute will provide a new way of making liturgical life a daily reality.
 
The Institute describes its mission in the following ways: To promote and develop liturgical learning, to give life to liturgical practices in the parishes, to deepen our liturgical spirituality, to publish and translate books on liturgy, to work to have some uniformity in the words we use, to begin a school on liturgy, and to recruit future members--all part of the dream of the Institute.  They have their own Internet  site and will continue to develop this along with many other possibilities.

The first president of the Institute, in his interview with the Peace Weekly, gave as the  reason for starting the institute: "Catholics know something about the externals of the liturgy but not the  meaning, which is sad. The reality  today is that those attending Masses do not find it a joy but a burden; this I want to change. I want to help our Christians to participate with enthusiasm."