A Personal Story of Depression

The  Catholic Times column on spirituality discusses the subject of acute depression. The columnist met one of his older priest friends and asked him about his bout with depression, which lasted about three months. Since he was looking back on something that had happened in the past the friend had no difficulty recounting this part of his 

history.

Looking back in retrospect he feels that what happened to him was the result of grace.  He was  building a church and was under stress. The church was finished and he had the blessing.  Right after the ceremony  he received notification of the death of a cousin  he loved greatly. The cousin died  very suddenly. He spent the time of mourning with the relatives at the home of the deceased.

On returning to his rectory he began to feel a heaviness in his body and he couldn't sleep. He went to his priest friends and did some drinking but nothing helped. He couldn't concentrate on anything he was doing. He would be critical with the parishioners and get upset quickly. He hated himself and cried a lot and even had difficulty in breathing. He goes on to say, "I decided to go to see a friend that I knew well, thinking he was a doctor but found out he was a psychiatrist."

The columnist  told the priest that what he did took a lot of courage. It's difficult for priests and religious to speak about their condition for they feel they can overcome whatever is bothering them with prayer and will power.

"Yes it did take courage," he admitted. " I am a priest but also human. If I stayed with the embarrassment and tried to hide what was happening to me I would only be hurting those with whom I came in contact. So I thought that since this came upon me suddenly, I would quickly take the treatment," he laughingly added, "and be over with it quickly." 

The priest in his pastoral work was always telling the parishioners  about hope and  joy, and here he was in the pits and was not able to speak about it to anybody. He recalls that after the ceremony of blessing of the new church he felt no joy, and after the visit to the home of mourning of his  cousin he went into the acute depression.

The columnist asked him if he ever felt like he wanted to die. The priest said that once when he was staying in a high rise building and looking down at the pavement, he did think that he would be free of his worries if he jumped. Since death will come, he wanted it to come quickly. He was not able to express his anger, which stayed within to grow and to harm him. In his self-examination, all he could see were his imperfections, belittling his values and himself.

He took the drugs for depression, the necessary therapy, and learned ways to express his emotions, especially  anger. It wasn't long before he was in control of his life. The bout with depression saved his life, he said.  He learned about his emotions and his faults and, even more importantly, now has a greater sympathy for those who suffer from depression. And he thanks God that everything that happened can in God's providence work out for the good.

Preparing a Masterpiece for God

A Catholic Times' columnist reflects on the word  'discovery' and tells us that it should be a part of our lives. Although the word is often associated with geniuses and great minds, that need not be the case, he says. It depends on what we understand the word to mean. There is one condition that helps to nurture discovery, and that is an interest in life. He associates interest in anything with a love for life.

Life lived with intensity and sincerity enables us to discover many things. It is like parents with a new-born baby, who if writing a diary would have a new discovery to add each day. He expresses a few of his discoveries in a short passage:


            Time is the vessel for space, and eternity is the vessel for time.

             Each day of 365 is a season.

             All the stones I gaze at are jewels.

             The stronger the manure I use the redder will be the flesh of my watermelon.

             Understanding  comes in a flash.

             Jesus was a poet of poets.

             If you have a terminal illness go in search of the  Doctor of the  flowers. 

         

These no doubt are insipid, he tells us. But they are not what you usually hear so he calls them discoveries. Actually the columnist tells us they are lines that have been taken from his poetry. This is a very natural result since poetry has to do with invention and discovery.They all help to form the masterpieces of   life, and, he says, it is our destiny to work on fashioning masterpieces.  Everything we do comes together to form our concrete, or nonspecific  masterpieces.

If this is the case, for the same kind of effort is it not wise, he asks, to have a beautiful masterpiece to leave behind. It is the Creator of existence who will be the one to enjoy our  masterpiece. The columnist does not feel we sufficiently see the importance of our life, and makes this one of his central topics when the occasion presents itself.

The palette for this masterpiece is life itself. The gift of life is God's gift to us and what we do with life is our gift to God. If we could be more conscious of this, our columnist says, life would be much more interesting and precious.

Catechisis of the Young

We all know that most young people do not feel comfortable in the Church, and they are not often seen at Mass. It's a  problem in many parts of the world. The Peace Weekly has been covering the subject in depth, this week they focused on the present mindset of the young, as revealed by the following typical responses.

"In the Church there are many things you have to do, you have to be quiet. It is boring. I went on occasions to a Protestant church. It is different. You are free to talk. No one is there to tell you to be quiet. It is freer than the Catholic Church and more fun. In the Protestant Church, you are allowed to make friends while in the Catholic Church, everything is arranged for you, isn't it?"

"My Protestant friends enjoy going out to church; for us Catholics our faith life is important, but isn't there a way to make going out to church more fun?"

"The young peoples' Mass and the ordinary Masses are not that different. The young people do the readings and sing in the choir but that is about it. The priest during the sermon gives us questions to answer and those who give the correct answers get a prize. This makes the time entertaining and since students like to participate and talk, this way of spending the time, instead of listening to a one-way talk by the priest, is much more fun."

"When a student is a member of some club or society then they will regularly attend Mass. If we can get the students to become members of the different parish groups that would make a big difference in those coming  to Mass."

"Learning about our faith is important but there should be events for the young. We had an athletic meet for those in our part of the parish, and all had a good time."

And from one high school girl, "We like to play in an individual way, as we do with computer games, but when we go to church it is always in a group, and this does not receive a good response."

And then the columnist relates the experience of one of the dioceses that has spent the last three years in trying to come to grips with the situation: "The students do not feel that there has been much of a change in what is being done, while the teachers, priests, and the pastoral council believes this has been the biggest change in the parishes." One of the students interviewed said, "The grownups spend a lot of time doing this-and-that to draw up programs that would be enjoyable to the students but in all honesty, most of the programs miss the mark. They are not much  different than the many programs from the past."

 It is clearly evident, the effort to meet the expectations of young people is an ongoing process; especially important is listening to them and finding out where they are coming from. The dilemma is what and how much can be conveyed to the young with the expectations they currently have.

The efforts that are now being made will certainly make for a stronger Christian Doctrine Program in the future but at the same time the faith life of the parents will play an important part  if any of the programs are to be successful.

We Make the Future with the Present

In Korea we are now wondering when the rainy season will end. To find out, we consult the  weather forecasts. When there is concern for the economic situation, we go to the specialists in that field to find out. And when we try to get objective knowledge of what the future may hold for us, we often turn to science-based information to find out. However, in his column on Religion and Culture in the Catholic Times the columnist asserts that though science can  predict many future events religion still has its attraction.

Why is that? The columnist believes that the more expectations we have for the future the more unexpected fears will come along with these expectations. Will I be able to find a job? Will I be able to keep the job and continue to support my family?  What will happen to Korea in the near future? Science can tell us a great deal but not all of what the future holds in store for us--that, he says, is the reason religion still influences much of our life.

Throughout history, we have had those who considered the past more important than the future. During  the Chosun dynasty, when Confucianism held sway, the ideal kingdom of the past was looked upon as the mirror for the present. The past was the yardstick by which they judged the present, believing that the ideal present was the repetition of the ideal past,--an attempt to return to its garden of Eden and its golden age.

And then you  have those that looked forward to the future, each of them having a blueprint of the future that they would like to see; some  in search of the millennium kingdom. Others in search for Utopia and the messiah who will bring it about. These attempts to do away with faults and even small deviations from the ideal, while searching for the  Utopian World, often end up as a nightmarish experience.

Whether it's a return to a pristine state of the past or a preparation for living in a perfect world of  the future, our columnist says Catholics would not be in either group. Words referring to the end times in Scripture are taken, he says, more as analogy  and signs than as predictions of future events. With Christ entering our world we have already begun our life in his kingdom in the here and now. We do not sacrifice or toss aside the present. Neglecting  the present life or dreaming of a new future at the expense of the present is not our Catholic way of thinking.  "We are making our future," he emphasizes, "by the way we live the present."

Misconceptions on the Place of the Social Gospel

After looking over Church statistics for 2010, a university professor and vice director of a Catholic research center, in an interview with the Catholic Times, had some interesting things to say about the Church in Korea.

He gives credit for the growth of the Church to the competition with Protestantism and Buddhism rather than to any internal reasons. He feels that until the image these two religions have in society changes, Catholicism will continue to do well, with a membership of 6 million possible in the near future. However, he believes that an increase in numbers without an accompanying growth in the depth of one's faith life will create serious problems.

Currently, the situation is not promising: the numbers attending Mass is at a standstill, the majority of our Christians are older and their activity in the Church is less, the semi-tepid  number 50 percent of our membership, and there is not enough concern for the aged. These problems have been around for almost 30 years and little has improved over the years. To have maturer Christians, the professor said, the methods of evangelization have to change.

A statistic that is especially disturbing is the lack of young people coming into the Church, while those in their 50s and 70s have seen an increase. The professor sees this as a serious problem for the future.

The statistics for the last ten years show that the number of women entering religious life has decreased, even though the number of single women has increased. A similar decrease will also be seen in the number of men entering religious life, and diocesan seminaries in the future. He feels that the present lack of vocations for the religious life results from the Church not being concerned enough to publicize the life sufficiently and see its  importance in the life of the Church.

He also blames parents and their lack of a mature faith life for the drop in the number of children coming to religious instructions. To change this situation will require, he says, a stronger evangelization of those entering the Church.

To the question, what should  the Church do to change the trend? It will require, he answers, that the Church take a greater interest in the social concerns of society.  He believes that  Cardinal Kim and  Fr. John Lee Tae-suk have done a great deal to  give the Catholic Church its currently favorable image. But the professor notes that in the Church today, we see the beginning of a polarization we did not have in the past; this is disconcerting to many who have looked upon the Church with favor. The professor feels that the problem comes from a lack of understanding of the Social Gospel, and a tendency to see religion solely as an individual relationship with God. To correct this misconception, he would advocate for a Church-wide strategy to  show the importance of the Social Gospel in the lives of all Christians.

Seeing the World with a Christ-like Sensitivity

The word 'sensitivity' is used, perhaps more than most words, in a variety of ways and contexts. Its many meanings include: responsive, keen, overflowing, sympathetic, compassionate, and, though often used to describe persons, can also characterize a trend or flow in society, as in a "popular sensitivity"  or a "human rights sensitivity."  Such were the thoughts of a bishop writing in his weekly column on religion and economics in  the Catholic Times. The word is sometimes used to indicate a new understanding of some aspect of life. In popular language, a person who has this sensitivity is seen in a better light than one who doesn't. 

Keeping this in mind, it is natural that followers of Christ should have a sensitivity to his words and way of life. Jesus came into the world by taking on our flesh and a human sensitivity to all of us in the love he has shown us. When we are close to Jesus and see the world with his eyes, with his way of thinking and acting, we will take upon ourselves his sensitivity.

With the globalization of the world, and its potential to make us more sensitive to the difficulties  of others, we are seeing differences not only in politics but also in cultural and economic matters. The way we live is rapidly being changed by our one-world-village sensitivity. We can't go back to the old ways, the bishop says, but must now find ways to deal with the new society we are making.  In the years ahead this will continue to impact our Korean society, and the bishop wants us to understand that it will be primarily a world governed by economic needs that will affect us the most. The Church can't only be interested in spiritual and religious matters but all that pertains to life. When we do, we will see more clearly, he says, the difficulties of those who are not benefiting from an increasingly globalized world, the marginalized and generally forgotten many who struggle to get by.
                                                                                                                          The Church has commented on this situation repeatedly. The most serious problems are in the countries of Asia and Africa that are experiencing the detrimental side effects of the direction the world has taken. Those of us who have the sensitivity of a  follower of Christ should find it easy to understand and to sympathize with the suffering of those who are not benefiting from this new world order.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Leisure Becomes Work and Work Leisure

This is the time of the year for vacations. Vacations are sometimes seen as interruptions in a busy schedule and grudgingly taken in order to return to work refreshed. And sometimes vacations are seen as an eagerly awaited, joyful reward for having worked. To be busy is often considered a sign of competence and ambition, the key to success. The Desk Columnist of the Catholic Times provides us with another look at vacations.

Is it a fact, he asks, that when we are busy we are more likely to have success and happiness? On the contrary, our columnists says, "When we realize that leisure time brings into our life success and happiness, we arrive at a new level of understanding work and leisure. Work then feels like leisure  and leisure like work."

He divides  vacations into three types. The first type describes a person who looks forward to resting from his workload, getting rid of the the burden of his work and desiring the vacation to recoup his strength--rest from work is what is needed.
The  second type describes a person who actively enjoys the leisure. Rest is seen as creative, bringing interest and satisfaction into life, as if  existence itself were waiting for this moment of joy.

The third type accepts the vacation without giving it much thought, as an appropriate break in the work routine.

The columnist poses a question for his readers to ponder: What type are we?

Our leisure time should allow us to discover the joy and beauty of life. In our restful moments we should be able to see, he says, how joyful, how creative, how full of love life is, and, with gratitude, experience these  blessings in our life.

For Christians what we are leaving  behind when going on vacation is not as important as where we are going while on vacation.  And that should be, says our columnist, back to the God who made us. Our tired bodies and minds are searching for the rest that comes by returning quietly and deeply to God. We can be  sidetracked by a culture that wants to keep us busy, pressed for time even during vacations.  What is needed, he says, is more of the second type of vacation: the leisure time that finds the peace and rest in God that will continue even after returning to the workplace.