Growing in Spirituality

Spirituality is approached in a variety of ways and thus can be defined in a number of ways. For those who believe in God, it can be defined as maturity of life, the reason for existence, and the goal of life. Jesus is the model of how we should approach this goal. The columnist writing on spirituality for the Catholic Times delves into the hidden dimensions of the self to reveal what must be uncovered to attain spiritual maturity.

He uses the example of bricks used in construction work. Though all are all well made, in themselves they have little meaning. It is their relationship with other bricks  that gives them meaning.  A church building built with bricks is not just a gathering and piling up of bricks every which way, but its construction follows certain rules, especially at the corners; a skilled hand working with those bricks and following a plan can construct a beautiful building.

This is also true in life. We all have a multitude of memories, experiences, life fragments that can help us build our own internal temple. We have had many experiences in life from the time of infancy: failures, scars, joys and successes, and in the midst of all this there is the seed of God's grace, which is there to help us grow. Even when we do something wrong, the grace of God wants to move us to a new life. Unfortunately, we often forget this seed that is in us, opening our eyes to another reality.

Israel's history is an example of how difficult it is to discover this seed within us. The exodus from Egypt was not seen as freedom by the Jews. During the  later history of exile, slavery, the division of the country they sensed the presence of God but went back to their old ways.

Jesus came to teach us the harmony that exists between heaven and earth and to discover the hidden seed within that will enable us to live this harmony, while still dealing with the many fragments that have to find their rightful place in our lives. In doing so, we are building the internal temple, the home of the Holy Spirit.This spiritual life is not  destroyed by external misfortunes.  Even though we are weak human beings, we can be strengthened by looking for and finding the hidden seed within that will light our troubled ways. That seed does not bloom all at once but requires our constant care to nourish it.

Adversity Quotient

A series of articles in the magazine "Bible and Life"  are on the Adversity Quotient. We have all been exposed to the Intelligence Quotient, the Emotional Quotient, and the Moral Quotient, and now we have this latest measurement of personal functioning, the brain-child of Dr. Paul Stoltz, to tell us where we stand in terms of how we are likely to deal with, and hopefully overcome, adversity in our lives. 

The lead article reminds us of an obvious fact, that life is full of obstacles: accidents, sickness, deaths in the family, divorce, financial problems; these are among the major catastrophes but almost as troubling at times are the small things that pester us daily.

Using Dr. Stoltz's example of mountain climbing, the article divides the type of climber into three groups. The Quitter, who finds the climbing too difficult and can't wait to get to the bottom of the mountain, The Camper, who does not act like the quitter but is comfortable with setting up a tent when he sees the difficulty of the climb. The Climber, who overcomes all the obstacles to reach the top of the mountain.

In the Scriptures, it is not difficult to find the Climbers. Among them, the son of Jacob, who wanted to monopolize the love of his father and being hated in the process by his brothers. He overcame all his difficulties and saved the family. Moses, Job, and many others, especially Paul the apostle, can be mentioned. However, not only in our own Christian and Jewish history but in the history of the world, there are numerous examples of those who have overcame great obstacles to help many, and Korea has her own many examples.

All of us are faced with these obstacles and trials of life. Adversity can be the stepping stone to change in our lives, either for something better or for something worse. Whether we succumb to the difficulties or use the difficulties to overcome and go on will depend on us.

This e-mail was sent to this blog  for help in selling a DVD.  I am happy to reprint the request.

My name is John Martoccia, an independent filmmaker based in Utica, NY. In May of 2011, I released a film theatrically I produced/wrote/directed called "Vito Bonafacci" (http://www.vitobonafacci.com). So far, it has been shown in theaters in New York City, Cincinnati, and St. Paul, MN.  We are now proud to announce that it is  available on DVD. 

The film chronicles a man named Vito through a spiritual crisis where he comes to realize that his materialistic life is an illusion, and what is important in life is what he doesn't have. Thus leading him on a soul searching journey to understand life's purpose and a renewal of his Catholic faith. The film features a strong emphasis on the sacraments and what it really means to be Catholic in a corrupt world. 

Communication is Difficult

Communication is an area of life that gets a great deal of theoretical discussion. How do we communicate our ideas so they will be understood? A columnist in the Catholic Times reminds us how those who appear for the first time on a radio program have to be told to express their emotions by words and not by bodily gestures.

In order to express our feelings and our intentions when talking to others, there are many things that have to be remembered. In radio what is important is the spoken word, but visual media has another dimension besides the ears. With a smile, a great deal may be conveyed, and actions of course can also 'say' a great deal; with the proper action, one can convey what a thousand words cannot.

The viewer and listener's situation has to be considered when deciding what is appropriate communication. Some see all with a biased view, waiting for something that from their point of view is wrong, and can be condemned. With that kind of person one never knows if one has communicated with him or not, and in return, he may be perplexed by not being understood.

It seems, the columnist says, that it is getting harder to communicate with the passage of time. He laments that it has not been just a few times he has failed to communicate what he wanted to say.  The I-am-right-and-you-are-wrong type of attitude should give way to the attitude that we have different ideas on the subject.  He wonders if it is not unlike showing something to a blind person and talking to a person with a hearing difficulty.

Dishonesty, prejudice, lack of knowledge, wanting to be accepted by others, our own history, among many other distorting conditions are often responsible for our failure to communicate clearly. It would be helpful if all of us had the humility to admit this, and try, without condemning or ignoring  another's position, to search for a better understanding of what we hold to be true in order to communicate more effectively.
           

Marriage Requires More than Love

Statistics show that among OECD countries Korea has the highest number of  divorces, but this may mean less than it seems since we do have so many forgetting about marriage in the first place. Writing a column in the Catholic Times, a diocesan priest working pastorally with families gives us his understanding of the problem.

He has asked young people what they consider the most important qualities for a partner in marriage. A typical female response would be: "First of all, one has to make a good choice; one who is tall, good looking, capable, with a good personality is the  kind of  man I want to marry." A typical male response would be: "I want a girl who is thin, beautiful, good natured, cheerful, and cultured."

After these basic and mostly unrealistic expectations,  there is the interest in the mate's finances, the house, the place of  marriage, dress, and the other factors considered essential for marriage. It is understood that not having money problems will make for a happy marriage. But is that the case? the priest asks.

Love is not enough, he says, and notes that his maternal grandfather, who very much loved the priest's mother, did not allow her to do what she wanted. Do you think that his mother appreciated this great love of his grandfather? he asks. The grandfather did not consider his daughter's needs but only his own love. What one person thinks is love is often seen by the other as discomfort and pain.

The priest refers to Genesis 2:24: "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body." God does not ask for love, he says, but that they be one. The partners to be married are brought up in different environments, circumstances, educational backgrounds, and understanding each other will require much effort. Questions that are helpful in reaching this understanding would be: Am I a suitable match for my mate? Can I make the effort to bring harmony and unity to the marriage? Can I overcome my own faults, and at the same time am I mature enough to accept the faults of my mate that I may see later in life? Otherwise, he counsels his young people, the unity will not be achieved.

The priest reminds Catholics that the Sacrament of Matrimony allows one to be open to the graces of God, for what is demanded is not easily achieved without  grace. We have to know what we lack and ask this from God. The priest laments that many young Catholics opt for marriage in a wedding hall instead of the church, which is a sign that the desire for the spiritual help necessary to make their marriage a holy union is missing.

Fair Play In Life

A Religious Sister writes about fair play in the column "'Window from the Ark" in the Catholic Times. Although she has little ability in sports, walking being her only exercise, she enjoys watching athletic events and sees them as miniature portrayals of life.

No one plays any sport with the intention to lose, winning is usually the primary goal. Tenacity and challenge are also incentives motivating those who pick up a sport, along with the desire to win. However, it is necessary that the winning comes with nobility. We are all moved by seeing a sporting event played properly following the rules. When this is the case, the winners and losers all receive a fitting round of applause. In life this is also true. Sister does not see sports separated from life.

She brings to our attention the news story of a gold medalist who was thought to have plagiarized in getting his doctorate. An editorial wanted the readers to understand that he wasn't a scholar, and to understand with magnanimity his position as an athlete. Sister was not happy with this attempt to understand what was done, and says that when we sympathize without objectivity we are not doing anyone any favor.

It is understood that we make mistakes but when we do, it is necessary that we face what was done, feel sorrow, and face the morrow with hope. When a serious mistake is made, and the embarrassment is so great that to say I am sorry is difficult, then at least it should be acknowledged in the person's deportment, in his eyes and attitude. This will be seen by others and forgiven. However, we don't often see this fair play attitude of sports in the game of life.

She sees lack of fair play permeating a great deal of society.  A few years ago when we  had an irregularity that some considered a blotch on the  reputation of the country, some thought it was a sign of patriotism to overlook what was done for the good of the country.  Sister sees this as a strange way of behaving; does this really benefit the country? she asks. Can this lying continue for long?  Thinking that it's good to hide from other countries our disgraces and embarrassments is rather to retreat into exclusiveness, nationalism and inferiority.

Sister concludes that plagiarism or other irregularities are not the big issue. The effort to hide what was done, she believes, is the bigger problem. That the young people are influenced by this way of acting is regrettable, she says; we will never accomplish anything by trying to cover darkness with more darkness. The pain and embarrassment that come from mistakes, when acknowledged, can often lead to a better tomorrow.

46th World Communication Day

"Silence is an integral element of communication; in its absence, words rich in content cannot exist. In silence, we are better able to listen to and understand ourselves; ideas come to birth and acquire depth; we understand with greater clarity what it is we want to say and what we expect from others; and we choose how to express ourselves." These are the words used in Pope Benedict's message to us on World Communication Day, the Feast of the Ascension.

The editorial in the Catholic Times reminds us that this day was created 46 years ago to show the importance of the mass media and to foster its use in spreading the good news. We are told of the Pope's concern and the importance of silence in communication. He points out the many sites  across the internet that can help us grow in our spiritual life, and he urges the Church to become interested in the possibilities of evangelization using the mass media.

We live in a world flooded with information, and the quality of life we experience is mostly influenced by how much of this information from the mass media is used to form and guide our lives. The extent of mass media communication is so pervasive today that we have christened it the information age. Understanding its potential to shape our lives through the power of satellite broadcasting and the internet will help us see how revolutionary this new network encircling the world has become.

The Church needs to put this technology to use in spreading the good news. Granted, the editorial states, the Church cannot  compete with the commercial efforts of big business; however, in her  own way the Church has the mission of spreading the truth that she  has received. This will require all who are working in the media to expend their energies in achieving this goal, if we are to follow the example of Jesus, who was the communicator par excellence. Churches have to make efforts to spread his love to all;  this is the  vocation we all have. Use of the mass media has to grow if the Church's future is to be bright. 

In the same issue, a  journalist comments that the Church's message of truth is just one of the messages among countless others around the world. We can think it is only a question of speaking about Jesus, but this is not what moves hearts. It is the experience of Jesus in our lives that is the message that we need to give.

Silent scream

The desk columnist of the Catholic Times focuses on a troubling societal problem that has been much discussed but without finding a satisfactory solution. The large number of youthful suicides in Korea leads the developed world, and the number contemplating  suicide is one out of ten. Obviously, a serious issue for Korea.

What do the adults see as the reason? he asks. Is it the 'body' getting larger and the spirit getting weaker? Are parents telling children we are doing everything for your future but endure present difficulties? In the past, the young only had to worry about the last years of high school to prepare for college, but now it begins in kindergarten, where the competition and specialization begin. Those who have the means can accept what comes but those who do not, blame their parents and envy the more fortunate, which tends to create many other problems.

Efficiency and ability are the measuring sticks used to judge the worth of our young. Violence and bullying in school are ignored, and students with the poor marks lose the sympathy of teachers and adults, and become the object of ridicule.

The children understand the thinking of the adults on this matter, the columnist explains. They know their parents want them to succeed, have a good job, meet a good mate and live a decent middle-class lifestyle. If it wasn't necessary to go to the best schools to achieve this ideal, their battle to succeed in a highly competitive society would not need to be waged.

These are the reasons parents put pressure on the children; those who can't take the pressure often end up as suicides. The parents realize the risk but think their child is different, and will not be affected. And when these incidents do happen to their child, the parents find it difficult to understand. Obviously, it is not only a problem of parents but of society as well. It is a chronic, silent malady within our society, and he wonders how long it will continue.

Although he sees no easy solution, he would be happy with a makeshift solution. Isn't there some way of discovering the children who are hurting and do something about it? he asks. He believes there must be ways of reading the mind and heart of these children before they end their lives.  Isn't there, he pleads, at least one person out there, somewhere, who can read the silent screams of  agony of these young people?