Love is Caring

Words of wisdom come to us from many sources, sometimes helpful, bringing about needed behavioral changes, and sometimes, though making a great deal of sense, have little influence on our lives. A columnist in the Catholic Times recounts a snippet of wisdom he remembers hearing from a  friend who said it influenced him throughout his life.

The friend, a priest, would go as a child, during winter vacations, to the home of his grandparents down country. He tried to find a way of relating with the children his age, but being from the city he was not accepted by the country children; so it was Blacky, the family pet, that he spent most of his time with, walking in the fields and climbing mountains.

One evening his grandmother roasted some sweet potatoes, and brought him some. He began eating the potatoes and remembered Blacky out in the dog house. Taking one of the hot simmering potatoes, he broke it in half and gave the dog the other half. Blacky swallowed the potato and let out a scream. His grandfather and mother rushed out to the dog house to see what the ghastly scream was about. It was then they realized that the boy had given the dog a hot potato. The dog after the episode stayed in the dog house  for a couple of days.

His grandmother gave him a lesson on what dogs do not like, and spent some time getting the message across. It was a lesson the priest has never forgotten. Not everybody likes what we like and the columnist concludes the column with a very simple and obvious moral. Love means many things, but the meaning he likes is 'caring.'

Working in a different culture the reality of this is often seen in what is eaten and  what is avoided  Recently, Koreans have made some changes in what they care about when it comes to eating preferences, coming to appreciate wheat products, cheese and milk, a change which has come about gradually. There are, however, areas of life in which likes and dislikes go much deeper and are probably more similar to the experience of the priest with "hot food and dogs."

Joy in the Ordinariness of Life

Our current educational system prepares us primarily for center stage performances, according to a priest writing in the pages of With Bible. He believes that the education on what to do if you don't make the stage, or come down from the stage, is not part of the curriculum.

Jesus tells us to be servants; according to many people, a very strange logic. We have plenty of teachings by Jesus on this but the one that includes them all is the washing of the feet of the disciples at the Last Supper. With our weaknesses, failures and frustrations, we prepare a place for Jesus and in this emptiness is the fullness that lifts us up.

The writer tells us that his own life  was not one of grandeur but of frustrations. The family was not wealthy and he went through the hell of college entrance exams. Before entering the religious life, he spent eight years working for a weekly paycheck, and even after entering the religious life the frustrations continued. He felt he had no special talents, had difficulty with his studies and  learning a new language in a foreign country. He was like everybody else. Frustrations, weaknesses, failures; the darkness made him easily accept his ordinariness and to finally give thanks for it. Jesus repaid him with his abundance and consolation.

"Some day I will have success. Life, begins with nine innings and two outs. It is difficult, but happiness some day will come." This kind of talk is also not about weakness, he says, but the way of getting to center stage. Our success comes after death; it comes in the glory of resurrection. It is not the glory without death, scars, darkness, and pain. Without this understanding of the cross, we do not have a Christian spirituality. Both Judaism and Islam both believe in God but do not have the cross.

We feel a great fullness when we consider Jesus' empty tomb. If the disciples did not find it empty, they would have despaired. "Lord just give me your love and that will be everything" (Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, #234).

Hearing the cry of the poor

In a Peace Weekly column a priest explains that the Church acts most like a Church when it works to motivate society to create more humane living conditions for all. To do this, he says the Church has to identify both with Christ and with society, sharing not only what is superfluous to the Church's needs  but what is necessary.

"Thus, part of the teaching and most ancient practice of the Church is her conviction that she is obliged by her vocation--she herself, her ministers and each of her members--to relieve the misery of the suffering, both far and near, not only out of her abundance but also out of her necessities. Faced by cases of need, one cannot ignore them in favor of superfluous church ornaments and costly furnishings for divine worship; on the contrary it could be obligatory to sell these goods in order to provide food, drink, clothing and shelter for those who lack these things. As has been already noted, here we are shown a hierarchy of values--in the framework of the right to property--between 'having' and 'being,' especially when the 'having' of a few can be to the detriment of the 'being of many others" (#31, Sollicitudo Rei Socialis).

The Church is the sign of the reign of Christ, and many think that it  is only a relationship with Christ in the Eucharist, in the liturgy. The Church is God's tool, and we don't limit the work of the Church to the liturgical.
 
From the very earliest catechism classes, we learned that the Church, and we as followers of Jesus, have three assignments: to share, to relate and to serve. The terminology of the Scriptures would be kingship, priesthood and prophet.
When we give, we receive, the columnist wants us to understand. Giving without receiving is sentimentalism and romanticism. We receive more than we give. When we give without any return, this is foolishness. He compares it to pouring water into a bottomless crock: not only foolish but a waste.

Those who do not give do not receive; we are not, he says, only speaking of material things. When we do not give, "the 'having' of a few--going back to the words of the encyclical--"can be to the detriment of the 'being' of many others."

The Church, he concludes, must remember to hear the cry of the poor. "He that stoppeth his ear against the cry of the poor, shall also cry himself and shall not be heard."( Proverbs 21:13)

Difficulties of the Young

Writing in the "Window of the Ark" column of the Catholic Times, a priest working with young people relates the story of a young man who told him that because he had lost the love of his girlfriend he felt that his life was over. He went to the top of a building  and tried to kill himself. It was nighttime and he did not see the canopy below, covering the entrance to the building, which broke his fall and saved his life, with just a few scratches. The priest said that he was soon walking around with a smile on his face and eating well. Heartbroken, the young man had caused a couple of thousand dollars of damage to the canopy,  but the expenses were on the house.

The priest reflects on the difficulties of the young. They see so much in the media, and the example of the elders is of little help.  Sexual contact between the sexes is a common occurrence, and they are not prepared for what is involved. They are not familiar with their bodies. They are not prepared for marriage and the difficulties it brings after the excitement of the romantic involvement wears off. The use of  contraceptive drugs and of abortion, the mental tension that comes with an unwanted pregnancy, the avoidance of friends, the  possibility of the relationship going  sour--all are common occurrences.

When faced with an unwanted pregnancy, adults will often resort to abortions or the so called morning-after-pill. Catholics know that this is not permissible, but the young, not being able to acquire the drugs, will often use a month or more of hormones to prevent the pregnancy, which can do a great of damage to a young person's body, preventing pregnancies in the future and bringing depression.

We can't  blame the young people because of the society we have made. The schools are hot beds for bullying. Families are not places of rest and renewal. And the churches, because of the competition for excelling in the college entrance exams, are not able to do their pastoral work with the young.

Adults are often overly concerned with making money. Society has changed more in the last 20 years, the priest says, than we have changed since the beginning of recorded history. What can we expect from the young? They are concerned more about the changes in their bodies than they are about mental maturity. And the adults? They have become the slaves of money and power, and can only deal with the young with honeyed words. This is a serious problem for the young. Tweaking the words of a well-known song, he believes they will aptly describe the youth of the future: Walking in the rain with their heads down. Without a song in their hearts.

Humility and the Spiritual Life

The first step in the spiritual life, says a Catholic Times journalist, is "to part company" with pride.He defines pride as considering oneself creator. We are not the 'word' but the one that responds to the Word. Jesus is the Word of God; this Word made the world; light appeared, and the Word came to live with us.

We mistake our word for the Word of God. We speak our word as if we are the creators. The columnist wants us prepared to receive the question: Haven't you heartily spoken your own word, when you were sent into the world, instead of speaking God's word?

It's not easy to understand what we are being asked to do here. We have the examples of Abraham, Moses, and the prophets, but we desire to show off ourselves.  God wants us to exemplify his word and to carry it out in our lives. We are to be united in a relationship with God, merciful with those we meet, and in harmony with the world. God has been speaking through the world by inspiring us from the beginning of history. And Jesus has shown us the unity, mercy and harmony in the world by the example of his life.

During the Chosen Dynasty, women were socially restricted. Because of male power and male vested interests, women suffered much.  What was central and missing in all this was not understanding that the center of family life is not the husband nor the  wife nor the children; the center of family life is the mystery that is in God.

We have difficulty in believing in the providence of God and very easily trust in the strength of our human resources. If the viruses we are exposed to daily were slightly transformed, says the journalist, we could all die. It is not what we see with our eye that is important but the mostly unacknowledged graces that come into our life each day: the sun that rises in the East, every day; awakening in the morning, every day, among other commonly taken-for-granted graces that make our life possible.

If we could add some  humility to the many facets of life we think important, much would change. Constancy is important. With this change in our lives, pride would begin to weaken, and our bodies, mental faculties, and our hearts would become more spiritual, more truly what they were meant to be.

Health of Body and Soul

The Catholic Times' desk columnist recalls his early years when the family kept bottles of vitamins and medicine on the dinner table.  He wondered at the time if they could  cure the ailments for which they were taken. Exercise and eating well, he thought would have been the better way.

He was not  concerned then about his health. It was mainly trying to keep away from catching a cold. At that time, a good night's rest or a nap would be enough to regain  strength. He played soccer, basketball and joku (playing volley ball with your feet). During his years of schooling, these sports  kept him in good shape.

As the years went by, things began to change. Aches and pains started to appear. Food was eaten no longer for its taste  but rather for his own taste for food. He remembers that he could make the rounds five times at a buffet table, and eat at different hours of the day without problems. But one day, coming back from a bath house, he fell to the ground because of an excruciating pain, later found to be gastritis and an esophagus problem. Even after this incident, he was not as careful, he admits, as he should have been. He now is more careful when he sits down to eat, even when it's a simple meal of noodles.

He is bothered with chronic tiredness which even a good night's sleep does not dissipate, and finds walking up to his third floor office difficult. Because of these latest symptoms, his wife also gets after him to improve his dietary regimen: including omega-3 oil, vitamins, brown rice, vegetables, beans with the rice, papaya enzymes and also, whenever possible, buying organic.

He has taken steps, he says, to provide for the lack of exercise and a good diet, supplementing with other health aids.  Seeing how this has improved his physical health, he wonders if similar steps focusing on the spiritual side of life will improve his spiritual health. He has been baptized for 30 years, but instead of making progress in spiritual maturity, he had been content, he says, with comfort and laziness. Especially pride which has brought  inflammation and hardening of the spiritual faculties.

The concern we should have for the  the body is similar to the concern we should have for the spirit.  Sunday Mass and our daily spiritual exercises, if not regular and desire is missing, may be a sign that we need to take some spiritual vitamins. They could be in the form of retreats and spiritual reading. And because of the interconnection of the body and the spirit, both need to be cared for if we are to live to the optimum of our possibilities.

'Walking with Philosophy'

Most people are able to  separate theory from practice, knowing and doing. A scholar with great knowledge is not necessarily a virtuous person; a philosopher is not always a moral person; and a great theologian is not always a spiritual person or a saint.

 

However, at the  appearance on the world stage of philosophy, both in the East and in the West, this was not the case. The study of philosophy began around the 6th and 7th centuries before Christ.  It was the intellectual  search for knowledge, not generally concerned with systematization and theory but was more practical: learning how to live. The goal was to discover the right relationship with nature, things and other people.

The Catholic Times, in its "Walking with Philosophy" column, pointed out that the first philosophers, for the most part, were not interested in abstract metaphysical theories or dogmatic systems. They were interested in living the good life.

The systematization, speculation and theorizing came later, and is the reason, according to the column, we have lost interest in philosophical  studies. In the beginning, the philosophers were interested in right actions. How was a right-minded person to act? They wanted to know how a person could be consistently one in action and in thought.
 

From the beginning of philosophical thought in those early centuries, we have wanted to understand the significance of existence and the world we live in. This desire comes from the very nature of humanity. The word 'philosophy,' as we know, comes from the word for wisdom (sophia) and the word for love (philos). We naturally and enthusiastically search for truth to solve the problems of life. As long as they exist we will always be philosophizing, always seeking meaning and a better understanding of life.