Eating together they all
raised their glasses in a toast but the glasses only held soft drinks.
Not a drop of liquor to drink but the topic of conversation was entirely
on drinking. They were members of the Sobriety Movement in the diocese
of Seoul. The journalist who wrote the story that appeared in the Peace Weekly attended the meal. He began drinking
during his first year of college and continued for the next fifteen
years, mostly when eating out and attending many year-end festivities.
Not once was he without a drink, he said, until
that evening.
The drinking culture of Korea pervades all strata of society and is well-known. There
have been changes in recent years because of the serious consequences from excessive drinking. And these efforts have met with some success. But he goes on to say that the practice of heavy drinking continues, usually when there is a business meeting or when friends get together.
He mentioned that when he goes
eating with friends, even before the side dishes come out they have
finished drinking one or two bottles of soju (the popular cheap
distilled liquor). At the end of eating and drinking with male friends they often
go to a second and third place, changing the atmosphere but continuing the drinking and talking. This group, however, goes to tea
rooms or coffee shops. He admits that during the meal with the sobriety members, it was not easy to produce a pleasant
atmosphere without the usual drinking. A worker at the Center said that
all their meals and events would be of this type--no liquor would be served.
The priest
who heads the Center recalled when going out meant just 'pour and drink'. In Korea, one usually does not pour his own liquor, and a
little force helping others to join in the drinking is permissible.
Nowadays, the eating and the drinking are separated, said the priest. And
if you drink too much that is a reason for losing your job and, in the
conglomerate world, a black mark against you when it comes to promotions.
The article mentioned two men who after they had stopped drinking found everything
working for the good, One said his business began to take off and
the other said he began a new life; even the conversations were more memorable for he could remember them. He refuted the notion that liquor helps dialoguing with others.
The priest recounted his own story
of heavy drinking and confessed that his parishioners over the years sent
complaints to the diocese about his drinking; the complaints were enough, he said, to fill three
bags. Before he stopped not only was his spiritual life a mess but
his mental and emotional life as well.
That evening, during the liquor-less meal, those present mentioned how difficult
it was to give up their old way of life. They all said that the
most difficult time is when they are celebrating a personal event or a
promotion and have to refuse the drink that is offered. They have found that refusing a drink becomes easier when they admit to having an
alcoholic problem or have learned to refuse politely. But probably the most successful strategy mentioned was to avoid the
occasions where drink is being served.
That evening, without drinks being available, the journalist said it all
came to an end in about an hour and a half, much less than it would normally have taken if there had been drinking. Drink does help intimacy because of
the vulnerability and the exposure of one's humanity, both attractive
traits, but there are other ways that this laudable result can be
achieved.
We need to find how to make living without alcohol more attractive to those who find it difficult to do so. Providing an example for others by living alcohol-free, as the members of the Sobriety Movement attempt to do, is a first step in the right direction.
A doctor recounts the story of an old priest who found consolation in the hospice section of a hospital for the alleviation of pain from cancer. His
father had died when he was
only two years old so he doesn't remember his father. This left him
alone with his mother. The church in the village was the refuge for the
mother, and the son also grew close to the church community. One of his
relatives was a religious sister and the thought did come to him of
entering the priesthood and in high school this became his decision. He
often said it was the prayers of his mother that enabled him to become a
priest. A picture taken together with his mother when he entered the seminary is in his wallet and in a frame that
continues to be on his desk at home. His mother was
his father, teacher, friend and sweetheart. The person who would have been
the happiest on the day of his ordination. But she collapsed
suddenly two month before his ordination and died shortly after.
Now in the hospital he would frequently call out to his mother when experiencing pain, wrote his attending doctor in the culture of life
column of the Peace Weekly. Medically there was no more that could be done. The
cancer had spread throughout the body and there was no medical way of
controlling the pain. This is difficult, the doctor said, not only for the patient but for all those who
are taking care of the patient. This common occurrence is frustrating for the medical
profession and leaves most doctors with a feeling of helplessness.
He
recounts the Greek myth of Alcyone and Ceyx. The husband Ceyx went on
a trip by boat and did not return. Alcyone went to the port daily
waiting for his return and praying to the gods for his safe return. One
of the gods felt sorry for Alcyone whose husband had
died in a shipwreck, so he had Morpheus make her husband appear in a
dream that would make clear what had happened to him. With this news she went
back to the ocean and prayed for his heavenly bliss.
During the priest's pastoral days, whenever
his mother was mentioned, all the Christians knew that tears would come to
the priest's eyes. When he was diagnosed with cancer and became weak,
the thought of his mother came often. When he was in pain he used to say
that his mother would appear to him in a dream.
It was
only when he relied on morphine that he was able to rid himself of the
pain of cancer and get some sleep. It was at that time that the expression on his face would become peaceful. It was also at that time that 'Morpheus' allowed his mother to appear to him in sleep, as the daily dose of morphine was increased to get rid of the pain. Because of the morphine the priest would not regain
consciousness. During this time of sleep in God's time, very naturally,
the breathing and heart will stop.
The doctor said he noticed on the face of the priest a gentle smile, during his last moments. He had no doubts that the priest was seeing his mother at his ordination Mass and also at his first Mass, praying for her son.
"The we disappears
and the I appears before God" headlines an article
that bemoans the distorted understanding of secularization that
gives rise to individualism and passivity. Rather than discovering our authentic
faith during the Year of Faith, the article
contends that we are likely to find, under the banner of the new
evangelization, according to many scholars and theologians in Korea, that
the biggest obstacle to our faith is an increasing individualism.
Individual spirituality is making inroads within the faith life of
our Christians. Pope Benedict has alluded to this tendency in one of his
interviews, saying that passive and individual
spirituality can now be seen in the life of the Church. Korean scholars see
personal profit, satisfaction, and the increase of excessive selfishness as
derivative of this thinking. No matter how strong the idea of the holy may be,
centering on oneself is growing stronger. Individualism can readily be seen in
the globalization that is taking place in Korea.
Many see this drift towards individualism as the key in reading the future. Religion is influenced by this trend in
society. When religion is reduced to the private, the social elements are
discarded.
One theologian says it's difficult to import the standards used in the West to
determine the results of this transformation within Korean
society. We can see the drift away from community by those
who have ceased going to Mass and confession and have become tepid. This has been
operative in the Church for sometime. Another scholar sees postmodernism and its stress on the 'me'
against the 'we' as having a destructive influence on the understanding of
religion for many.
One element of this change is the reliance on religion to make one feel
good and to provide blessings. One of the surveys made in 1998
found that most people when praying are interested in their own or family
needs. In Korea with our folk religion, which is centered on the self, this
modern tendency fits in well. And one scholar feels that it is developing into a worship of the self.
A Catholic Time's survey on spiritual life and
community, first made in 1987, found that 73 percent of those surveyed thought
community life important. The same questions, asked again in 1998,
found that 63 percent considered
community important. In the last survey in 2006, only
38.6 percent considered community important. A clear sign
of a continual drop in the way Christians see community
life, and supporting evidence for
those who see the tendency toward individualism.
In conclusion, a leader in the the studies of
Catholic culture says that although we have a statistical increase in the
number of Catholics, there is a decrease
in identifying with the community, a lessening of religious sensibilities, and
fewer people who are willing to sacrifice for
a cause.
The mystery of church community and of a community
of love as being essential to
Christianity are goals that the Church has to address in its teaching, liturgy, and ways of living the faith as it moves
forward into the future.
In the documents of the Incheon
diocese's first synod, the document on Women's Apostolate/Dignity and
Mission of Women contains the following statement:
Scholars looking to
the future envision a third millennium where the vertical structure of society
will disintegrate and will be replaced by a horizontal structure. Our present pyramidal social structure is changing to a circular network, and in the
21st century this social structure and the world of communication will
be changed from a vertical into a horizontal one. In the horizontal
society that is coming, the collaborative relationship will be more
valued than the competitive relationship, and people, by
integrating their individual roles based on creativity and capability,
will pursue a common goal.
On the section Women's Activity at the Beginning of the Catholic Church in Korea, the following appears:
As described in the process of the establishment of the Catholic Church
in Korea, lay leaders, both men and women in the last period of the Yi
dynasty, could grasp that all humans are created equal without
distinction of class and this was shown in that they studied Catholic
doctrine together and prayed together regardless of age and gender. In
this way, they proclaimed the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Women especially
were very active in social and cultural affairs. Catholic women learned
difficult Chinese characters in a patriarchal social context where
sexual discrimination prevailed. They translated Catholic books into
Korean and taught it to their children and to other women.
They also wrote guidelines for the appropriate attitude behavior and
regulations for women that were used to instruct women. It is a fact
that their works are highly recognized in the history of Korean women.
In this way, the characteristic of the Catholic Church was that they learned the Catholic
doctrine and shared it,
without distinguishing between men and women, and all together, they announced it to their
descendents. This is a precious example for our modern age.
Recently,
the subcommittee for women, under the Bishops Lay Apostolate Committee,
met together in a seminar. Written up in the Catholic Times, it was an effort to
determine what roles modern society is asking women to take in the
Church, in order for them to develop their unique strengths and to realize their
identity within the Church. Lectures and discussions were held during the
one-day meeting.
A
religious sister contrasted the way Jesus related with women in the
society of his time with the difference seen in our society and in our homes today. Men are often given center stage; it is their
opinions that count, both in
society and in the Church. We have to move from a Church where women are
seen only in positions of voluntary service, she said, to where they can take
their place with their special capabilities in leadership roles within
the Church.
A
priest mentioned the role of the Blessed Mother and compared it to the
present role of women within the Church. They need to add their feminine
qualities to the work of the Church, he said.They are to give life, creativity
and their unique insights to the Church. But women's primary role, even before their place in the
visible community of Church, is in the family.They are to work in
making the family the primary basic church community, and stressed that working to evangelize the family is a big part of the work of our women.
Women's work and their roles in society and in the church are usually hidden, but they have always been important and significant. There is a desire on the part of many for women to have more access to positions where their insights, and strengths are more visible and influential in leading the community of faith. More programs for the education of women for this role in the church are necessary. Korea has moved a little closer to a time where the importance of the women's role within the church will be taken for granted, but the culture does make it more difficult than it should be.
"Birds fly with both left
and right wings working together." The Peace Weekly headlines their
editorial on human rights with these words. The bishop-president of
the Justice and Peace Committee, in his message for Human Rights
Sunday, laments the confrontation between the progressives and the
conservatives in society. He appeals to them to see their positions as
complementary and as win-win positions.
When
it is Christians who are divided on the issues it is harder to
understand. The elections that are approaching in Korea make the divide
prominent. There is no reason to expect all to have the same opinions,
states the bishop. But for a Catholic, there are certain principles
that we should all accept. We should agree on acknowledging that we are all united as brothers and sisters. And in this spiritual solidarity, we should foster harmony and balance with everyone. Whether on the right or the left, everyone should be able to put into practice the social message: loving commitment to our brothers and sisters.
In a democratic society, it's normal and expected that progressives and conservatives will coexist relatively peacefully. Their positions are not all embedded in stone; many
are relative and relational. Put another way, if the progressive
position in society disappeared and only the conservative position
remained, in short time the progressive position would make an
appearance. The influences of the two viewpoints should not be in
opposition but in conversation with one another. This is the way
society has developed over the centuries.
The
editorial goes back in history to try to understand the current
situation in the Korea. In the 1940s, after the end of the war, fierce confrontation existed between radical
conservatives and radical progressives. Convinced of the righteousness
of their position, they did not hesitate to use violence against each
other. In our society of today, we have inherited some of these
tendencies from the past.
The
Church can not be part of any camp. World society naturally is
separated into different ideological inclinations.The Church, however,
has to see the human from the viewpoint of the Gospel message. The
issues we now face in Korea, especially the 4-River Project and the Chejudo naval base, should not be ideological positions. If they are seen with the eyes of the Gospel, says the editorial, misunderstandings and discord should be things of the past.
The
problems that we have in Korea are not much different from those we
have recently seen in the States. Catholics are not together even on
issues that the Church considers integral to Catholicism. We can make
it a problem of emphasis, or try to see a priority in execution, or
even a different understanding of words. But the editorial finally ends with the hope that Catholics, with elections coming up shortly, will put aside the labels of conservative and progressive and have a sensitivity to the Christian viewpoint from insights that come from the Gospel message.
"We make it our prayer
that the witness of life by believers may grow in credibility. To rediscover
the content of the faith that is professed, celebrated, lived and
prayed, and to reflect on the act of faith, is a task that every
believer must make his own, especially in the course of this Year."
These words of Pope Benedict, in his apostolic letter which opened the Year
of Faith, led the desk columnist of the Catholic Times to wonder how
we in our lives will give meaning to the Year of Faith.
He begins by noting that God sent us
Jesus, who died on the cross, rose again from the dead, and in God's providence made us to enjoy what he has given, now and for
all eternity. This is our sure belief, and though we are challenged daily with temptations
and distortions of all kinds, we continue the efforts to live by
what we believe, efforts often comparable to those on the
field of combat.
He has had discussions with elders and
acquaintances who have great love for the Church on finding appropriate ways of living this
Year of Faith. He is not able to give full meaning to all that he heard
but there are elements he does understand and agrees with. He
sums up what he has learned by expressing a warning: If we don't change from the
attitude prevalent in the Church of the West and do some deep
reflection on the Church in Korea, we cannot expect much from the Year
of Faith.
Those in
authority, he feels, have to reflect concretely on what is going on
before they urge Christians to have a healthy faith life in the face
of secularism and other materialistic temptations. His sad conjecture
is that we will not have the results desired.
And he asks a number of important questions to determine why this is the case. Can we blame relativism
and secularism for the young not coming out to Church? Is it all
the fault of society that the Church was not able to hold them? If
religion has descended to where the young are looking for psychological
consolation, is it not partially the fault of the clergy and religious?
When we have concern for the mass media does the Church fully understand
the medium? Have we not used the new media mostly to help in
administration?
Have we not failed to see the possibilities of the give and take in the
world of communication? Have we not been too concerned with alms
giving, scholarship and the practice of individual virtues? Have we not
stressed the individual spirituality to the detriment of our social
responsibilities?
He quotes Cardinal Peter Turkson, president of the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, who referred to the social message of the Church as a well-kept secret.
"It
should not be a secret any more. In some cases it’s a neglected
secret; houses of formation know very little about it. In the past we
looked at the Church as the mystical body of Christ; the emphasis was on
spiritual relationships. Then Vatican II opened that up, bringing us closer to recognizing the Church, in terms of
social commitments, as a family.
Maybe it is the Church, says the columnist,
that has to look at itself and determine how much we have failed to
teach the social commitments that are ours to live as baptized Christians and
followers of Jesus.
For many years discussion continues about death with dignity which the bishops' conference sees as a movement for euthanasia creeping in. The Peace Weekly in the editorial spoke to this fear and although Catholicism does not oppose the discontinuing treatment that has no meaning there is much thought that has to go into making laws on the issue.
A doctor writing in the culture of life column describes a case that he had which meant a great deal to him. A grandmother was in the intensive care for cancer, and he relates her story. The family at the start of the Korean War came down from the North, three daughters and the parents.
Shortly after the birth of the third daughter the husband left the family and went off to a distant city to begin a new life. The wife felt betrayed and lived with great anger. She started working in the fish market to raise her three daughters. She work indefatigably and sent all three to college.
At the end of 20 years the husband came back after the failure of his marriage and wanted to continue where he left off 20 years before. The wife didn't want anything to do with this arrangement. She couldn't forget and forgive him for what he did. But the oldest daughter's marriage was coming up, and she felt that to have a father would be better than not having one, so she let him work doing the household duties and the shopping.
One day feeling tired and losing weight she went for a medical exam and found that she had cancer. She had chemotherapy and during that time the husband was always at her side making amends for his treatment of the wife and children.The therapy did not prove to be helpful and she was told that she had a couple of months of life. She thought this was enough time to prepare for death.
However one evening at meal she had difficulty in breathing and eating her food. Some of the food went into her lungs and she developed pneumonia and was taken to the hospital and put in intensive care with a ventilator. During that time with the husband at her side, she wanted to speak to him in a way that would make it easier for her to leave the family.
"Everything is alright, Everything now is alright with me. Get rid of all that you have been carrying and live. Thank you for being by my side. In all truth, thank you for being with me. When we meet again in heaven let us laugh together"
The doctor finishes his words by saying that the cost of treatment continued to increase, and the treatment was of no medical help but no one can tell the doctor that the treatment had no meaning. What transpired during those minutes at the side of the grandmother no one could possibly expect, imagine or money could buy, and they are memories that will last a life time and beyond for those present.
