The Plus and Minus of the Social Network

A person in a crowd does not shoulder any personal responsibility. A truism amply illustrated in the scriptures: "There was a lot of talk about him [Jesus] among the people." Some said, "He's a good man," but others replied, "No, he's misleading the people" (John 7:12). A little later, with one voice, the crowd shouted, "Take him away! Crucify him!" (John 19:15).

Who makes up a crowd? And what voice do you and I have in a crowd? A religious sister who studied media ecology, and spirituality reminds us, in her article in the Kyeongyang Magazine, of a few important points when using the social networking services (SNS).

It is easy to overlook the fact that a few people when aligned together can become the voice of a crowd without the  approval of many in the crowd. People who have come together in such a crowd are anonymous. In much the same way the social networks are following the rules of mass psychology, those with the same interests often coming together to make their own group, where they find and enjoy security.

Teenagers are beginning to use in their conversations the word "KakaoStory bullying." (KakaoStory is a Korean photo sharing social networking service.) It's a form of bullying in which a person is invited to a cyberspace room and, with pictures, is attacked in a way that exceeds the worst of the 'word only' type of bullying. This kind of bullying lasts 24 hours a day, and you can't hide from it.

A boy who was participating in this kind of bullying was asked why he was using abusive language. He said, unperturbed by what he had been doing, that it was bullying, simply bullying. Doesn't that bother you in any way? he was asked. No, was his unemotional and matter-of-fact answer. We also find this unemotional involvement, she says, in other age groups and in other segments of society who are using the same bullying tactics with malicious comments that are often seen on posts.

We all have a desire to relate with others, and to be ostracized hurts. The possibilities that are offered by the SNS are numerous. The sister feels that the personal values one has are weakened by these services, as we gradually are influenced by the values of others participating in the service, and to want to imitate the perceived 'stars' of the SNS, and when we are not able to do so, the sister says, it can lead susceptible individuals into depression.

There is a limit to the number of friends we can have, and those made on SNS, we know, can be easily forgotten. A true friend is one we can meet with at any time, a person we can easily ask for help and support. We have to practice this type of meeting, the sister says, and come out of the crowd, meeting on a one-on-one basis. We are not sufficiently consoled merely by words in cyberspace. We need the presence of the other.

Referencing Peter 3:10: "Keep his tongue from evil and his lips from uttering deceit," she hopes that we can elevate the social media from being a place where one frequently feels no sense of responsibility for what one says, to a place where joy is experienced.

She quotes a professor who cites studies that found that happy people have surrounded themselves with happy people, and unhappy people are surrounded by unhappy people. She hopes that SNS members will foster a desire to support each networking member, so that ultimately we will build a network of joy that will be truly social, because, she says, like all good things in life, social networking is a blessing and a gift of God.

Resolving Conflicts within the Parish Community

A professor at the diocesan seminary, who is also a pastor, discusses in a recent issue of the Kyeongyang Magazine some of the reasons Catholics have lost hope in the Church and have left. Using a Korean expression you hear often:  he will be spitting while lying down-- a foolish thing to do. However, since he is a  pastor and  has something to say on the subject he proceeds.

Some have been hurt by the words or actions of their parish priest or religious; others have left, disapproving of the lifestyle of the clergy and religious. What should be done, he asks, when parishioners dislike their priest or sisters? Some may even criticize their celibate state as unnatural, and mistake a lack of social skills as self-righteousness, stubbornness, pride and hypocrisy.

It's helpful to remember, he says, that priests, starting from the time in the seminary, have been receiving love and respect from the Christians, but have not in many instances returned to their Christians, in like measure, the same love and respect they've grown accustomed to receiving. Priests also are not practiced in self-examination, except for the ones who see themselves humbly. In addition, they are often tempted to do what they want in their parishes without consulting the community. 

The same difficulties apply, but perhaps less so, to the sisters assigned to a parish; they fill the maternal roll in the  parishes, while also living a life of humility and poverty, and are respected and  loved by the parishioners. But the professor points out that the sisters are also no less influenced by the greater society, and at times can become authoritarian. The relationship between the priests and the sisters is also not without its potential difficulties, occasionally resulting in the sisters being recalled from the parish. And there are cases when a priest sins and it becomes the gossip of the parish; he then can no longer continue in his pastoral capacity.

These problems can be seen as caused, in part at least, from the special position of the priests and sisters in the parish. The times when these problems have been overlooked have long passed. The faults of the priest in the past would have been accepted, and the parishioners would pray for a change. Today, the community would not hesitate to prepare a petition for the bishop and marshal parishioners to oppose the priest. 

The professor tells us it's not love to unconditionally overlook the faults of priests and sisters. The problems are not only limited to the priests and sisters but some blame belongs to the community. The community has to realize that they are the leaders of the community along with the priests and sisters. What does it mean to live a life of faith? When they have a problem with a priest or sister, they stop going to church, but they should reflect, says the professor, who is being hurt when they take this action. They should remember that  priests and sisters are not their spokesperson in their faith life.

When problems arise with a priest, a sister or another Christian, there are many resolutions possible: write them a frank letter, express to them directly the problem they have, go to confession. When this is not done there's usually bickering and hurt feelings. With prayer and a desire to speak honestly to those they believe to be the offending party, something good will usually result. We should remember that even if our expressed concerns are not accepted at that time, for whatever reasons, it maybe that we have prepared them to eventually come to a new understanding of their roles as priest and sister.

The Church can no longer disregard the legitimate complaints of many Christians by relying on organizational formalities as was done in the past. We now have the example of  Pope Francis who, in his first act after being selected as the new pope, asked for a blessing from the people gathered in St. Peter's Square waiting for his appearance on the balcony, and then bowed his head to the people.

A person with a mature faith life does not allow a priest or sister to interfere with his or her relationship with Jesus. Our life should be a life of gratitude for what we have received. There is no need to desire or to receive the approval of the priest or sisters. Emotions are a part of life and we can't run away from them but we can, the professor says, ask for help in getting them under control. 

Surprised by Uncommon Values

In his office early one morning a lawyer, listening to music and writing, heard the phone ring. It was a friend who had passed by the office and seeing the light felt compelled to give him some friendly advice, telling him he should stop working so much, "Are you working early mornings to make more money?" he asked.

"That's not what I'm doing," the lawyer tried to  explain, but the friend went on to say, "What are you going to do with all that extra money? You need to go home to your family." The only reason his friend could think of for a person being in his office outside of regular hours, the lawyer said, was to make more money. He had no idea that he may have been reading a book, listening to music, writing a personal letter or an article intended for publication, which he did write for the Catholic Digest, discussing just this issue of misunderstood values. 

This difficulty was evident when Pope Benedict announced his retirement. The mass media the world over had an abundance of speculation to work with, and promptly did: Could it be a plot? Was the pope overcome with difficulties he couldn't manage? A German who could not deal with the Italian entrenchment in the Vatican? among other speculations--all reasonable explanations but far from the truth.

The truth was that he was old and, after prayerful reflection on what would be demanded of him, he clearly stated that at his age he felt he would not be able to deal with the difficulties the Church was currently facing.  He was sure he had made the right decision but few accepted his explanation as the sole or real reason for the resignation. If the mass media had considered humility and love as the reasons for his resignation, instead of more 'newsworthy speculation', would it have been the same coverage?

The lawyer doesn't think so. More interesting were the seemingly endless discussions of whether the next pope would be an Italian, a non-European, a conservative, a progressive conservative, a black. The media had a great time trying to  pick the next pope, the one whose personal charisma and leadership qualities stood out above the other so-called contenders, but when it became known that the newly elected pope had paid for his own hotel expenses, and was in the habit of taking public transportation to work, the media finally realized that the cardinals were using another value system when they chose Bergoglio to be their pope. He was not in any top-ten contender list and he was not tied to any value that the world thought important.

In Pope Francis' first sermon, he  made clear that his priorities would not be those of the world: "When one does not build on solid ground, what happens? What happens is what happens to children on the beach when they make sand castles. Everything collapses. It is without stability. When we do not profess Jesus Christ, we walk without the Cross (following the  values of the world). When we build without the Cross and profess Christ without the Cross, we are not disciples of the Lord, we are being worldly. We are merely priests, bishops, cardinals, popes, but not disciples of the Lord."

When the friend of the lawyer saw the light in the office and made his comment, he was using the world's value system. If the lawyer had exhibited more convincingly in his own life the values of poverty, humility and love, would his friend have spoken as he did? Probably not.

The lawyer is thankful, however, that the cardinals did select Pope Francis. It was an opportunity to show all of us that the values of humility and love are still important values in life.

Magdalena House

Magdalena House, the first center in Korea for prostitutes, started humbly, in 1985, in one room that lacked even a bathroom, on the second floor of a restaurant. Profiled by the Peace Weekly in their series on Catholic Women Groups, Magdalena House was founded by a Maryknoll Sister and a laywoman, with the help of the Seoul Catholic Women's Social Welfare Association. Though the center had an inconspicuous start, for the women who had no place to go, it was a welcome oasis among a generally hostile environment. It was a place where they found respect and could begin to build a new life, a place that gave them the courage to dream and was more welcoming than the home of their parents, where some would have to go to have their first child.

Magdalena House gave hope to these unfortunate women, who, it must be remembered, were no less made in the image of God. They were encouraged at the center to work on their strong  points and against the stigma they were branded with by society.

The center was named after Magdalena of the gospels, a person who was freed of seven devils by Jesus. She loved and was loved by Jesus and given the privilege of being the first to see him after the resurrection. The center was intended to give the women selling sex a dream that their life could change if that was their desire.

Women could come to the center for counseling and for legal and medical help. A literacy program was also set up for those living in the Yongsan area who were in the sex trade, as well as for other poor women. The center was also available as a shelter for the old and handicapped women who had lived as sex workers.

Since many societal voices were heard wanting to put an end to the sex trade, a number of groups and individuals got together in the One Voice Movement to try to stop the trade in 1985. In 1999, a documentary on the sex trade was made with the help of a woman's club, under the auspices of the President; Magdalena House contributed to the film.

In addition to the in-house programs, the center began programs in field work for those women who were still active on the streets, and for those who were not. Increasingly, efforts were made to prevent young women from entering the trade and to counsel those who had run away from home. 

Magdalene House also gives lectures and publishes material on spirituality that focuses on helping to change the thinking of those in the sex trade. Their hope for the center is to ultimately have a place for those who have left the trade and are looking for a place to stay, a home, as they prepare to go out to a new way of life. 

Deceiving Ourselves is always Possible

The desk columnist of the Catholic Times says he has always thought of himself as a calm person, not easily agitated by frustrating circumstances, and that he usually doesn't budge from a decision once made. He also considers himself more reflective than emotional, more interested in the thoughts and beliefs of others rather than in their appearance, and not at all interested in frivolous talk, liking to get right to the point in a discussion. And then at the end of this self-assessment, he tells us he has been deceiving himself all these years.

The reason he appears calm, he says, is that he dislikes moving the body about, and is also lazy. The reason he's not easily agitated is because he has slow reflexes and is not practiced in how to show  his emotions.  Because he's not perceptive, he doesn't notice details. He's able to control his anger because he's not strong enough to fight, with fists or with words, so the best thing to do, he discovered, is to remain silent. And the reason he stays with a decision he's made is that he doesn't have the creativity to see another possibility. If being tactless and simple are considered strong points, then at least he can say he has plenty of both.

Because of his torso, he says he has the patience to stay in the same place for some time. When his wife changes her hair style, he says he never notices it. And at a 'gag concert', he says he has difficulty in seeing the humor, the play on words and the wit, admitting to a very dry disposition. He confesses that only discussions with topics that interest him will keep his attention, otherwise he does not participate, and realizes this is a form of selfishness.

With life full of contradictions and conflict, he wonders about the possibility of achieving harmony and unity. He looks within himself and sees a great many contradictions, which he believes causes many to see him differently than he sees himself.

In the pre-modern society, stick-to-itiveness was considered a virtue; in the pluralist society of today, this has changed and the 'live and let live' is in vogue. Since we have difficultly understanding ourselves, he believes it's simply pride to think we can understand the other, which at times can become prejudicial thinking and discrimination.

The Catholic Church has great difficulty with the relativism of post-modernism but there is something positive in this viewpoint, he says. It encourages us to leave our narrow way of looking at life and accept or at least see the possible relevance of other points of view. We should not be too quick to judge another's intentions with our own measuring standards. Even if it's something we do not understand or agree with, it's a way of not closing the  possibility of dialogue, enabling us to relate more easily with others. Some skepticism is understandable but when it becomes cynicism the results can be lethal.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Developing a Taste for Spiritual Reading

The Catholic Church of Korea asked Catholics to read 33 spiritual  books a year during the three years from 2005 to 2007. The second phase of the program will start this coming June, during the Year of Faith, with the same goal: reading 33 books a year for three years--the 33 referring to the years of our Lord's life. For the third year another book was added to make it 100 books for the three years. The reading will not only benefit the person but also promote our religious tradition and culture, as the the Catholic Times' latest issue points out in its cover story.

The results of the earlier program were very satisfying; it helped develop the habit of reading, formed book seminars and clubs and, less formally, parish discussion groups. Books were seen as a means of continuing pastoral care of Christians, and of correcting the misunderstanding that Catholics do not read very much. The Catholic Times, with the help of the Seoul Diocese, took a poll of the readers to determine the effectiveness of the program.

One of the main reasons for the program can be summed up in the phrase: To read a book is ultimately the process of reading life. In other words, what we read is going to determine what we put into our heads and hearts, which will largely determine what actions will follow. Consequently, the first step is to prudently decide what to read. However, in our digital society many have difficulty setting aside enough time to read because of easy access to hypertext information, which militates against deep thought and examination. Rather than reading to search for meaning and values, we often prefer to read whatever provides the immediately useful. To eliminate this difficulty, a book selection committee will select two or three books each month for those interested, and set up programs to encourage meeting with others to discuss what was read.

The poll of 241 Catholics showed that 30 percent read from 3 to 5 spiritual books during the year; 25 percent read 1 or 2 books; 19 percent read more than 10 books; 16 percent read 6 to 10 books, and 10 percent read nothing. Several reasons were given for not reading: not knowing what to read (30 percent), difficult to understand (28 percent), difficulty finding suitable spiritual books (27 percent),  books were not interesting (15 percent).

Korea has a community of Christians that is sufficiently united, making possible this type of program, with expectations of achieving positive results. Even though the Christians are being asked to do something many will find difficult, there will be many who will participate, making for a deeper and more mature level of faith life, along with developing the leaders of the future. 

Growth in Knowledge Achieved by Experience

We are in the habit of crediting only the mind for our knowledge, forgetting the essential role of the bodily senses, especially the ears, which seem to get the biggest workout. Some call this workout the cramming method of education, a method not always seen as the most helpful. A better teaching method, often used as an adjunct to the lecture, relies on visual aids to retain what is being taught. But the best.way, according to many educators, is to directly experience what is to be learned, a hands-on learning by doing.
 
Over the years, the programs using this third method have been enthusiastically received and the results have been long lasting. On one occasion a professor divided his class into two parts, showing one picture to those on the left side of the class and another picture to those on the right, After a few moments he told them to forget what they had seen; and made them shake their heads to confirm they had indeed put the pictures out of mind. All were then shown another picture, a composite of the other two pictures, and asked what they were now seeing.  Those on the left saw a man, those on the left saw a woman. This third picture, though having elements of the two other pictures, was a picture in its own right, but not seen as such by either part of the class. Even though the class had been told to forget the previous pictures, the memory of those pictures was still too present in mind, resulting in an inaccurate perception of the third picture. This was a lesson, the professor explained, to show how susceptible we are to the conditioned response, which in many cases programs us to see what we see, to experience what we experience.
 
This type of hands-on teaching is very effective in changing our behavior and our values. A catch-all phrase we often use for this teaching style is game simulation. Industry uses this as a hands-on way of getting persons to experience something that would be expensive and dangerous.

A Korean diocese using this hands-on approach was recently written-up in the Peace Weekly. The diocese took as their guideline 2:42-47 of the Acts of the Apostles, which explained how the first Christians lived the message they received. This Christian community was faithful to the teaching received, had  fellowship, and shared what they possessed. The following summary will give a rough idea of what is being done by the diocese, as it attempts to model itself after that early Christian community.

Two parishes of the same diocese were involved in the program. In the first meeting, they shared their thoughts on the scripture passage and what it meant to each of them to live in the manner of these early Christians. In the second meeting, they  decided on what they were going to share, each one expressing his or her opinion on the best way to do this. The discussion continued until they reached unanimity.
 
The third meeting, three days later, was preceded by a lot of prayer, and it seems they decided to bring money. Each  person expressed their need,  after  discussion, each  one is  assigned to  deliver what was considered needed to the  person who expressed the need.

In the last meeting, a week later, each one shared what they felt about what they had received, and discussed what they thought of the program, the difficulties encountered, and their personal experience of God during the time of the meetings. The diocese has plans to have this program, deemed successful by the participants, in all the parishes next year during Lent.