A priest writing in the Bible & Life
magazine recounts an
incident that happened when he was in middle school. It was a Sunday
afternoon and he had made plans to see a movie with a friend. He waited
for over
half an hour and when the friend did not show up, he made a call to the
boy's home
from a public telephone. A man answered the phone who he thought was his
friend's
father but it was his own father. He was so taken up with the prospects
of seeing the movie and being disappointed when his friend failed to
meet him that he had called his own home number. The father didn't
recognize his son's voice nor did the son
recognize his father's voice. When the father heard the name of his
son's
friend, he said that it was the wrong number for no one by
that named lived there.
They
say that those who have a
loving relationship can tell by looking into the eyes of the other and
know what is in their heart. And here we have a son talking to his
father and failing to recognize each others voice. Does that mean
there wasn't love between them? the priest asks. He tells us that even
despite what
happened he never doubted his father's love. To make judgements about
the existence or the absence of love in such cases is wrong, he says.
Because they were not able to recognize the others voice, does that mean it wasn't a close relationship?
No, that is not the case, the priest insists. There was no doubt about the love they had for
each other. Why? Simply because in that situation
there was no indication by what had happened that there was a lack of love.
On
radio recently, he said there was a public service announcement, "Don't
say 'I want to see you.' Refrain from sending text messages with 'I love
you.' Don't press 'good' as a comment. There is no need for such
comments."
The point that is being made is that there is no need to convey those
messages without the person being present. Whenever you are driving a
car
simply keep your full attention on driving and not
on sending text messages. This is the way to express that love. Love
should be sensed without feeling the need to do something because of
circumstances.
He
reminds us
of the story of Mary and Martha from the Scriptures. Martha showed her
love for Jesus by working in the kitchen. She wanted Mary to show that
same kind of love. There is no question that Martha was showing
love for Jesus but in those circumstances Mary, by doing nothing, was
also
showing love by only listening to Jesus and she, as Jesus pointed out,
had selected the better way.
We
often say that when we do nothing for the person
we love, that is not love. So we expect those who love us to show that
love by what they do for us. But love can be shown without any action
or words. I can also love another in a particular circumstance by merely
thinking in silence, by closing my eyes. Doing nothing for love can be a
powerful silent doing within our hearts. Circumstances will determine
how it will be expressed.