Unknowingly Surrounded by Love

The battery life of his wristwatch had ended, which was the reason the priest let his thoughts wander, giving him enough time to ponder what he would say in his forthcoming article for the Pastoral Bulletin. Not having a working watch, and content to let the clocks in the house tell time for him, he was surprised to see what he hadn't noticed before, that there were a half-dozen clocks in the house keeping time for him.

"Whoa!" was his reaction, he says. It was only because his timepiece was not working that he finally realized how many clocks were in the house, hidden from his unaware gaze and yet ready to give him the time whenever he did look their way. It made him question himself on how much ingratitude existed in his life. The clocks helped him become aware of the many people he needed to thank, and aware of the assistance he has unconsciously been receiving.  Having been aware only of his own abilities, he was forgetful of all the "angels" that have surrounded and helped him throughout his life.

Now, with the end of his watch's battery life, he began to reflect on his own end. The 'tick tock' of his own heart was still sounding, but he began to realize this would not go on forever. Life here on earth was given for a short period of time, a fact he was now acutely aware of,  he says, and he reflects on the meaning this has for him.

Looking back on the past year, he confesses that it filled him with anger and the loss of hope.  Deep down, he admits, there was gratitude and hope, but he still needed to overcome the egotistical thoughts and the tumultuous billows of emotion. As a priest, a member of the Church, of a diocese and a parish, he was stunned by the deterioration of life, but he was willing to take the punishment that came with this confession.

He is at a loss for words in seeing many of the things that happened in his life during the past year. The difference of only one day separates the last year from this year, a single orbit of the earth around the sun. But for most of us, and for him, he acknowledges, it is a big event, allowing us to make a new start, getting rid of what needs to be thrown out. Our mistakes and failures are to be acknowledged and not repeated. If we have been overcome by emotions, if we have said and done what we shouldn't have in the past year, we need to be sorrowful and have the resolve to do better in the new year. This is the first step toward a new way of being and living.

He is convinced that if we do things together there is nothing that can't be achieved. He wants to be more open to others in order to work more closely together. When the problems are great, and trials and agony seem to multiply, it is then that hope shines brightest, strengthening the will to work together with greater fervor. Faith in God, in others and oneself will allow us, he believes, to see the presence of love. And when that happens, when we see the depth and  greatness of God's love, we will be renewed.

He wants the leadership in the Church to become more aware of potential blocks along the way to Jesus.  He has hopes that our political leaders will not be a disappointment to our citizens.  For himself, he hopes that he will not be overcome by emotions and will act with right  reason. And for all of us, he wishes we will find the strength he also will try to attain for himself, of becoming more detached from material goods, stepping out of the swamp of negativity, protectiveness and passivity that all too often smothers our better inclinations when we fail to acknowledge the presence of love that always surrounds us.

The Best is not Always Needed

A doctor at St. Mary's Hospital in Seoul, writing in the Seoul Bulletin, discusses the so-called best medical treatments available, which are not always the best way of handling a particular case. He explains what he means.

A man in his early 70s came to a hospital, having been sent there from a smaller country hospital because of a prostate problem. They proceeded with a series of tests but he didn't return for the results until 5 months later. The doctor asked  for the reason and was told he had to take of a sick person and was not free to come. When the doctor asked who that person was, the man said it was his wife; she was suffering from dementia and he had to be at her side continually. He had been been doing this for the last 10 years. Fortunately, on this day she also had to see a doctor, so he came and asked the doctor if he could speed up the exam, so he could return to his wife as soon as possible.

The biopsy showed cancer but not advanced, so the doctor recommended an operation. The man said that was impossible. It wasn't a question of fear or money but the time away from his wife,  there would be nobody who could care for his wife. Without me, he said, his wife will not eat. I have to be at her side. Isn't there something that you can do, he asked the doctor, to insure that I will live long enough to take of her? The doctor told him the best thing to do was have the operation, but if that was not possible, he suggested the use of hormone injections. This would delay the growth of the cancer. It's not the best solution, the doctor said, but if you come to the hospital and take the injections and the blood tests, this may possibly help, but there is always, the doctor warned, the chance of a recurrence,

The man said that sounded good. He was old and believed he had not long to live, so he liked what he heard. The doctor tried to talk him into having the operation but he firmly held to his position and told the doctor he had no time to talk; his wife was waiting for his return. The doctor kept his gaze on the man as he left, and thought of all the other cancer patients who had been told similar troubling news.

He realized when dealing with a cancer patient that it is not always sufficient  to outline the best procedure and think that is all that is necessary. The circumstances of each patient are different and a doctor has to deal with them as best he can. Some patients have financial problems, others have difficult family relationships, and some have personal reasons they have to deal with. 

Health is not only a question of bodily health but also of mental health. We have to be concerned, act and pray to achieve the sublime goal that we all are searching for, which, for the doctor, was love: Love of oneself, love of the other and the shared love in communion with others. This is the will of  the healing God.

The elderly gentleman is taking the injections and although not the best possible treatment, but in this case it is the best, and the results have been good. The blood test level has return to normal, and there are no signs of a recurrence. As in the past he always talks about his wife.

                              

How to be a Mature Christian

 A recent How to be a Mature Christian column in the Catholic Times answers a woman who wants to know how to respond when her husband and children are calling her a religious fanatic.  She is 50 years old, she says, with a kind and good husband and three children, and lacks nothing except that her husband and children are not going to church. When she asks them to go and pray together, the children go to their rooms and the husband turns up the sound of the TV. Going to church alone gives her a heavy heart, she says, and often brings up unsympathetic feelings for her family. What is she to do? 

Such questions are often heard, says the priest-columnist, during the Easter and Christmas confession periods, with many women blaming themselves for the religious condition of the family. Not only do they worry, they consider their situation sinful. He makes it clear that there is no reason to blame themselves for the religious laxity of the family.
 
He recommends she stop asking them to go to church or to pray. Though there are times we can rightly blame ourselves for not being sufficiently concerned about the religious life of family members, in this woman's case, he says, there is another dimension that should be examined. 

He responds to the woman's question by asking if she knows what her husband  and children would like her to do together with them. He mentions an anecdote of a women who prayed to the Lord to come to the house and bawl out her husband for watching baseball games. That evening she would no doubt have found, he says, Jesus sitting beside her husband, and beckoning her to sit down beside them to watch the game. 
 
There are other ways to work for the sanctification of the family and have a  happy family than our customary pestering ways. What we think is God's way may not be his way, or the way others see it. The columnist tells her to see the possibility that God is the one who is taking her away from them and the reason for  going to their rooms, turning up the volume of the TV, and calling her a fanatic--all possible signs of resentment and sadness for her time away from home, fulfilling her religious obligations.

A holy family is not only a family that calls upon Jesus as their Lord and Savior, but a family that is able to see the Jesus that lives in each one of them. Her prayer should help her to see how they are being led by God, and to better understand how to approach them.  He advisers her to finish her prayers before he comes home from work, and later to open a can of beer for her husband and sitting down beside him to watch TV, and if puzzled by what she is seeing, to ask him to teach her. If this approach is difficult for her, he suggests that she ask in prayer for help to endure, and to expect her prayer to be answered.

Power of prayer

Driving on the turnpike, behind a novice driver, he couldn't control his temper. The car ahead of him was going so slow it prevented him, and the drivers behind him, from traveling the posted speed limit. Overcome with anger, he started to harass the slow-moving driver by repeatedly honking his horn. His wife tried to dissuade him from his revenge-type  driving, but the anger was not easily resolved. Looking back on the incident, he realized the stupidity of his act and the possible danger to his wife and child. In English, we would say he was overcome by "road rage."

An article in the Catholic Times discusses the problems of an "anger disorder" within society. We tend, it says, to be overly sensitive to our surroundings and, when they are not ideal, we often find ourselves unable to control our emotional reactions. It is not formally  considered a mental disease, but  some specialists see it as symptomatic of  more serious mental problems in the future. Over half of those who go to the psychiatric departments of hospitals, we are told, are there because of anger management issues.

In the past, Koreans were known to exhibit a particular disposition called "han," a feeling of regret and sorrow, together with a feeling of having been wronged. Many words would be necessary to fully express what is meant by the Korean word, but the article mentions that many who have this pent-up feeling are now expressing it verbally and sometimes violently.

A  doctor at a psychiatric hospital said uncontrolled anger is a sign of a societal and cultural trend that nurtures stress and unfulfilled desires. The extreme lifestyle differences in society, specifically the income inequality, have been cited as reasons for some of the anger. Also cited has been the increase of those living alone, causing  stress and a decrease in the consolations that came from family relationships.

There are many incidents in society that have caused great harm and arise from anger. There has been an increase of people having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, who have difficulty controlling  their actions. There is an increase of crimes that are considered accidents but are possibly prompted by an anger management issue, starting out as individual acts and developing into a collective anger.

The efforts to control anger are not just individual matters, but society also has to take an interest, by finding its causative factors and learning how to manage the anger. The article lists a number of possible approaches:  society has to give first place to attaining a  society that is mature; have counseling specialists work with stress and anger management programs in schools, which will focus on character-building; convince industry to be more concerned about the stress levels of their personnel; provide programs that will assure a safety net for those who are having financial problems; and find ways of strengthening the bonds with  those living in the local area.

The article ends by urging the Church to take a more active role in this area of anger management. The value of prayer, says an authority in the field of mental health, shows that with prayer and reflection on our actions, the brain is changed, allowing us to concentrate and to have better control of our actions. The ample spiritual resources of Catholicism, which are always open and easily available to all, would be a welcome addition to other efforts now being made in controlling this escalating problem in society.

Sex As a Game

With sex being an ever present money-making commodity in the world of advertising, it should be no surprise to anyone that it is the subject matter for much of our pop music. Korea is not different from much of the West in the way we use sex to sell our products.

With the way sex is constantly in our face, it leaves little room for being indifferent to what is happening. And as expected, reactions to this relatively new use of sex are varied. Some people like the breakdown of our sensitivity to things sexual, dispelling the aura of the sacred traditionally attached to sexuality. Some dislike what is happening to our culture: turning sex into an object apart from its legitimate role in life, making  sex into a game that can be enjoyed anytime and anyplace, without any qualms. It's surprising that, whatever school you belong to, more awareness of the results of the the way we think is not examined more closely, for it is not difficult to see the consequences of the choices we are making.
 
In a recent diocesan bulletin, a lecturer and researcher in the field of the culture of life writes about the importance of a person's growth in character and the ethical view of life. He introduces us to Park Jin-young, a popular singer and songwriter, and the president of JYP Entertainment, one of the biggest entertainment conglomerates  in Korea. He is famous or infamous, depending on which school you belong to, in popularizing the notion that sex is a game. He speaks freely about making sex pleasurable. The writer wants us to question whether those who are adults see sex as a game to be enjoyed without conditions.

The notion that sex is a game is reinforced, unknowingly, he says, by those who have enjoyed a great deal of pornography. The values of those who watch porn, he says, are similar to the values motivating the makers of porno: bodily pleasure. Those who have given the subject some deep thought know that this is not one of our noblest pursuits.

How is it that Park has come to see sex as a game and seeks  to spread this thinking to the world? Taking the words that he expressed in an interview, the writer shows why this thinking became possible. As a child in middle school, the world was dark, the singer said. He drank a lot, smoked and got to know the opposite sex. We played kissing games during that period, he confided; there was nothing he  didn't hear or say, and no subjects  that he didn't allow himself to enjoy. 
 
This way of thinking during his youth continued to grow into what he considers mature adult sexuality. It is part of what he creates in his songs, he says, part of the "cultural masterpieces" that he offers the world, to children and teenagers, without in anyway being aware of the harm being done. And the mass media, by its unquestioning, silent approval, is spreading the harm throughout society. Without our realizing what is happening, says the writer, Park has become our number one teacher on sexuality. This distorted picture of sexuality, with the power of mass media behind it, has infiltrated all of society. And being so extensive, there can be little awareness of the long-term results. 
 
He concludes the article by saying that whatever makes money in our free society, no matter how unacceptable it may be to many within that society, is going to be allowed. To counter this trend, he would like us to become more aware of the power of mass media and its responsibility to society and, perhaps more importantly, to be more aware and upset at the distorted views of life that are being expressed, often simply because they can, by their outrageous sensationalizing, create money for their purveyors. 

Lack of Trust in Society

Reading reports submitted by students is an interesting experience, says a professor writing in the Peace Weekly. Many reports show a great deal of creativity, but not a few, he says, were copied from the internet or some book. A few years ago an incident came to light that is hard to beat.  A student had submitted an essay that his professor had written for an academic journal. When the professor questioned  him about the essay, the student admitted he had taken it from an internet site selling reports on cultural subjects, and this particular report had received an A+. All he had to do, he was told, was submit it, because it had been "transformed."

Selling intellectual property without permission of the owner is a legal problem, but the moral insensitivity of many young students is a bigger problem. This is not only a student problem but a societal problem, the professor says. We have teachers plagiarizing, politicians lying, civil servants involved in corruption, breaking and accommodating the law to serve one's own ends, and all kinds of habitual evasions of moral behavior.  This widespread societal immorality is helping to make our young people immune to what a virtuous life means, and allowing our society to sink deeper in the swamp of mistrust.

In a  new year's  report from the office of statistics, we are told  that only 22 percent of Koreans feel positive about trusting others; Norway ranked highest with 60 percent. The professor reminds us that the happiness ranking doesn't have anything to do with income. When there is a lack of trust in a society, we can't expect a happy society.  
 
Francis Fukuyama is quoted as saying: "A nation's well being and its ability to compete depend on the level of trust." Even though a nation may be a democracy, the level of trust among the members of that society will determine the prosperity of the country, both in quantity and quality. This trust is not the kind that comes from blood, or locality or school ties, but is the  public trust among the  citizens.

The less trust there is in a society, and the less effort made for advancing the common good, the more conflict and  expense in running the society. There is in such a society, he says, no meaningful growth, only a search for profit with fraud and  betrayal.The  candle-light processions showing disapproval of actions made by the government  in the open squares of our society is a sign of this disquiet.

In a recent press conference the president stated that she is aiming for a per-capita income level exceeding $30,000, to improve the distribution of wealth and the welfare of all citizens, as well as improving the relationship with the North. All well and good, but the professor explains that without trust in the overall intentions of our society, it all becomes a house of cards. The very day she gave her press conference, a group of priests were demanding her resignation, a symbol, says the professor, of the lack of trust in our society. 
 
The professor concludes on a positive note. The next time he is in an elevator, he says he is going to consider the other elevator passengers as if he were meeting Jesus, and greet them in the same spirit.  In his class he will stress mentioning the names of those whose words they are using in their papers. And a further thought came to him that evening at home: it might be a good idea to get rid of all his name cards. 

Our Beautiful Earth

A professor of astronomy gives us a blueprint of the universe to help us to better understand the paradox of what appears to be the sole existence of life (humanity) within an inconspicuous edge of what appears to be a lifeless immensity (the universe). Her reflections on our place within this universe, written up in the Kyeongyang magazine, is a reminder to all of us of a fact we tend to forget: we are not only inhabitants of the earth, but of the universe as well. 

To set the stage, she begins by asking and answering questions we all might have heard in grammar school. She has always been curious, she says, to know more about our planet, other planets and the universe, which prompted her to pursue her curiosity professionally, allowing her to delve more deeply into the subject; she asks us to join with her in this short meditation.

The sun, 49,600,000 km from the earth, is the star of our solar system, with its 8 planets, including the earth, orbiting, with their moons, this one star, our sun. The furthest planet from the sun is 30 times the distance of the earth from the sun, and within the solar system are also asteroids, meteoroids, and comets. Our solar system is part of the Milky Way Galaxy, a speck on the outer edge of the Galaxy.
 
She reminds herself, and ourselves, that we are one of billions of people on our earth, that our our sun is one star among billions of stars in the Milky Way Galaxy, and that this Galaxy is one among billions and billions of galaxies in the universe, our universe. 

Trying to imagine the distances that makeup such an enormous universe is just too difficult, impossible really; trying to do so makes her dizzy is the way she expresses it. We are a very small  presence in such a universe. When she is asked what she thinks about our earthly affairs, considering the vastness of the universe, she says, she can't help but wonder how ridiculous and pitiful are those who don't  have any qualms in achieving their goals, no matter the means used. Though knowing our smallness, only a speck, and not even a speck, in the universe, our presence here, paradoxically, she points out, is a noble presence.

Our present home, planet earth, is filled with all kinds of life, the only life we now know to exist in the universe. We are unique as humanity: we can make tools and use them--we are life with intelligence. This universe, and we ourselves, were made according to a blueprint of a creator and, by a natural  development, evolved into what we have become today. 
 
Whatever the  individual belief or scientific viewpoint one may have, one thing is certain: we all share the same global home, a vast universe, in which our collective presence--humanity and all life--in comparison, is infinitesimal but at the same time big with unlimited preciousness. Whether this planet continues to be a comfortable place in which to live or becomes a rudderless ark floating on the endless ocean of the universe will be, she says, for us to decide. How carefully will we take care of, and be concerned with, our humanity, our earth, our universe? Her fervent wish is that we will be more loving in our caring than we have been in the past.